Tuesday rd 23 June 2020 Sentence challenge Can

Tuesday rd 23 June 2020 Sentence challenge! Can you use alliteration in your writing? • e. g. Steadily, the tall, tatty tree rose towards the sky. • Wandering through the dark, dull lands, she muttered miserably to herself. Sick sentences! These sentences are ‘sick’ and need help to get better. Can you help? • The tall tree grew very tall above the little girl. • The girl was very scared.

To use precise vocabulary and expanded noun phrases to create a narrative integrating description. Read Chapter 8 (below) which describes the yellow spotted lizards. A lot of people don't believe in curses. A lot of people don't believe in yellow-spotted lizards either, but if one bites you, it doesn't make a difference whether you believe in it or not. Actually, it is kind of odd that scientists named the lizard after its yellow spots. Each lizard has exactly eleven yellow spots, but the spots are hard to see on its yellow-green body. The lizard is from six to ten inches long and has big red eyes. In truth, its eyes are yellow, and it is the skin around the eyes which is red, but everyone always speaks of its red eyes. It also has black teeth and a milky white tongue. Looking at one, you would have thought that it should have been named a "red-eyed" lizard, or a "black-toothed" lizard, or perhaps a "white-tongued" lizard. If you've ever been close enough to see the yellow spots, you are probably dead. The yellowspotted lizards like to live in holes, which offer shade from the sun and protection from predatory birds. Up to twenty lizards may live in one hole. They have strong, powerful legs, and can leap out of very deep holes to attack their prey. They eat small animals, insects, certain cactus thorns, and the shells of sunflower seeds. Can you think about the appearance and behaviour of the yellow spotted lizard? Write down any words to describe the appearance and behaviour on a separate sheet of paper and keep this for the next part of the lesson.

Look at the modelled writing below which shows how a description of a creature can be integrated into narrative by including action, character’s response and emotion. As you read look for information on appearance, behaviour and habitat. See how it is written in the ‘Holes’ style. Also look for expanded noun phrases that help create an image in the reader’s mind. The Rattlesnake A slight movement from the bottom of the dark pit suddenly attracted my attention; a deadly rattlesnake had slightly rearranged its coils as my shadow had passed over it. Trying to keep my terrified breaths even and calm, I began to back slowly away from the venomous monstrosity. I was too late: it had me in its sight… With tremendous speed, the angular head whipped round – allowing the viper’s unblinking eyes to trap me in their malevolent stare. Holding its head completely still, the roughly-scaled camouflaged coils began to steadily unfurl, revealing the disturbing characteristic tail with its alternating black and white stripes. Purposefully, it began to shake. The chilling rattle filled the air. The snake’s neck began to arch as it raised it into a striking position. Slowly, in an almost leisurely fashion – as if it were relishing my fear – the thin lips opened and a cavernous, glistening pink mouth gaped open. The yawn revealed long, tubular fangs, already dripping with venom in anticipation of its strike. My body eventually awakened from its horrified stupor and allowed me to stumble backwards to the edge of the hole. I leaped upwards and hauled myself out to safety. I had escaped my first encounter.

Examples of Expanded noun phrases • Roughly-scaled camouflaged coils • Disturbing characteristic tail with its alternating black and white stripes • Cavenous, glistening pink mouth

Your turn I would like you to have a go at writing a first person narrative describing an encounter with a yellow spotted lizard using information that you retrieved earlier about appearance and behaviour from the text. You will need to use expanded noun phrases to bring this alive in the reader’s minds. Think about using a range of descriptive language to make it more exciting. Use my model to help you – feel free to magpie ideas but try and come up with some of your own as well.