TT Think Twice Programs For Relationship Abuse Prevention

TT Think Twice! Programs For Relationship Abuse Prevention & Recovery Are men really victims of intimate partner violence? Toni Mc. Lean Meeting the needs of victims of crime conference Sydney, 18 th-19 th May, 2011 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Domestic or Family Violence? • Domestic violence male-perpetrated intimate partner violence • Family (or domestic) violence includes: – Partner abuse – Child abuse – Parent abuse – Elder abuse – Sibling abuse. . . 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Background in IPV • NGO: couples counselling + groups for DV victims and offenders: – Couples and individual counselling – Facilitated groups for women victims of partner violence • Community Offender Services, Corrective Services NSW – Case management of P & Pclients, including PV offenders – Delivered domestic abuse programs for male offenders – Involved in subsequent refinement of the program • Developed own group program for male IPV offenders delivered in my private practice 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Currently. . . • Undertaking Ph. D. in School of Psychology, UWS: “How do counsellors respond to clients who present with intimate partner abuse? ” • Private counsellor with a focus on partner violence – Working with victims, offenders, and couples 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Objectives The purpose of my presentation is to simply make the case that: • there are male victims of partner violence • they (and their children) are present in sufficient numbers to be worthy of attention and services specifically for them • men aren’t only assaulted in self-defence or in retaliation for their own behaviour • they do suffer a range of physical and psychological injuries that can be serious 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

This presentation will… • Show evidence for victimisation of husbands by wives for hundreds of years – this is no backlash • Point out the massive variability in partner violence statistics • Explain how contradictory and confusing pictures of partner victimisation have arisen • Consider why male victims have been somewhat invisible for the last 40 years 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Backlash … or nothing new? “. . She bang'd him, she bang'd him For spending a penny when he stood in need. She up with a three footed stool; She struck him so hard, and she cut so deep, That blood ran down like a new stuck sheep. “ ~ Strype and Lupton (1580). Too good to be true. In George, M. (2002). Skimmington Revisited. Journal of Men’s Studies, 10(2). 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

The documented history of husband abuse (1) From the 13 th century onwards: • parish records • court records • contemporary chronicles • diaries • letters • newspapers, as well as in • literature and art All provide extensive evidence for male victimisation by female partners 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

English Church stone carving ~ 1200 CE: A woman holding a man by his hair and beating him with a cheese-skimming ladle With permission of: George, M. J. (2002). Skimmington Revisited. The Journal of Men’s Studies, 10(1), 111 -136. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Frieze at Montacute House, Somerset: Husband, holding a baby, being hit by his wife; husband being ridden on a “cowl staffe” With permission of: George, M. J. (2002). Skimmington Revisited. The Journal of Men’s Studies, 10(1), 111 -136. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

The documented history of husband abuse (2) • Early 1600 s. County and court records detail many cases of violent women, eg: Wilts Quarter Session Records, Hon Sir John Hungerford, JP, skimmington used to shame both beaten husbands and husband beaters • Historical records just prior to English Civil War (1642– 46), showed considerable anxiety over the extent of violence by women • In the US: New colony of Massachusetts - violence by husband wife proscribed in statutes. Wives and husbands accused at similar rates. – • ‘‘. . . so turbulent and wild, both in words and actions, as he could not live with her but in danger of his life and limb. ’’ (Plymouth Colony Records V 29 in Demos 1970) 1882 Wife Beater Act (Eng) outlawed wife abuse, cases of battered husbands also cited, including requests for the equivalent of modern restraining orders against wives. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

The documented history of husband abuse (3) • Ingram, 1984, cites many literary and artistic examples circa 1635. • Butlers 'Hudibras' (1664) contains reference to a skimmington. • Jonathan Swift – poem about a patient husband – “A Quiet Life And A Good Name”. • In ‘‘Oliver Twist, ’’ Mr. Bumble, when told it was his duty to control his wife, said: ‘‘The law is an ass. The law is a bachelor. ’’ • The Fortunes of Nigel (1822) by Sir Walter Scott, set circa 1616 -25. • The diarist Pepys also made mention of the practice. • Ben Johnson's works refer to skimmington processions of battered men. • Hardy refers to skimmington in 'The Mayor of Casterbridge’, 19 th C. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Dawes painting: 'The Hen Peckt Husband’. . . and his punishment Denial and trivialization of battered husbands has marked the period since Straus, Steinmetz and others reported on them in the 1970 s. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

From derision to denial • From 1500 s onwards (at least): Male victims of wife abuse derided – evidence in literature • From 1800 s (at least): Growth of legislation outlawing wife abuse • Late 20 th century: Public spotlight on wife abuse – And male victims of wife abuse trivialised or denied • Maintained by stereotypes of large, aggressive husband small, meek wife Both derision and denial may be ways society has to avoid an ‘inconvenient truth’. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Examples of the range of partner violence statistics Perpetrator Male Female Santa Barbara, CA, Police, 1983 94% 6% New Zealand, young adults, 2002 39% 61% Australia, newlyweds, 2009 Approximately equal (Halford) Best population-based studies show that 25%- 50% of all PV victims in a given year are men. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Why discrepancies in statistics? • Different kinds of studies or surveys • Different sample populations • Different methodologies • Different theoretical frameworks and contexts – Different questions asked / not asked – Different meanings / categorisations etc – Different language / vocabulary used 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Different kinds of studies or surveys United Nations surveys Result in distortion favouring maleperpetrated violence 19 th May 2011 • Samples drawn from developing as well as developed nations • Many developing nations often included are war torn nations - bias • Combined statistics not appropriate for developed nations but used nonetheless to make the case • Typically focus on female victims of any male-perpetrated violence Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Different kinds of studies or surveys (2) National crime agency surveys Only draws on reported partner violence bias against men 19 th May 2011 • Samples often include only women from shelters, and police and other criminal records • Women victims not asked about their own use of violence or abuse • Men not asked about any experience of victimisation • For a long time women weren’t arrested for partner violence Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Different kinds of studies or surveys (3) National victimisation surveys Based on perception of being a victim – again bias against men 19 th May 2011 • Respondents mightn’t see partner abuse as a crime • Men in particular don’t see it as a crime if they are not injured • If survey conceptualises it as a crime, women are less likely to report committing partner abuse • Questions usually asked within a context of male perpetrator-female victim Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Different kinds of studies or surveys (4) Family conflict surveys & Community studies Better reflects what is happening in relationships; shows female and bilateral violence 19 th May 2011 • Tend to occur within relationship conflict framework • Investigate situational violence as well • Don’t use words like “violence”, crime”, “assault” • But refer to same behaviours as criminal surveys Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

What kinds of injuries do men receive? Injuries resulting from: • being hit by blunt instruments, household ornaments, broom etc • having objects thrown at them • being struck with a vehicle • being bitten • the use of an ‘actual’ weapon, eg a knife • scalding by boiling water or hot food 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Why do women assault their partners? • Control • in response to partner’s efforts to control • to control partner to do what she wants • Expression of negative emotions (eg angry, hurt, frustrated, to punish) • use more physical and psychological aggression • Jealousy • commit more coercive controlling behaviour and physical aggression • Self-defence • use high levels of physical aggression; also show high levels of victimisation • Tough guise • appear tough and intimidating to be taken seriously or as a coping mechanism • use high levels of psychological and physical aggression 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Which women are most violent? • Those who didn’t report self-defence as a motive use higher levels of physical violence and tend to initiate aggression • Highest levels of physical violence by women who are primarily victims and women who are the primary aggressors (Caldwell et al 2009) 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

How is it that there is so little research on male victims? (1) • Initial focus on women victims – Difficult to focus on male victims at the same time • Women not asked about their own use of violence • Men not asked about their experience of victimisation • Because male victimisation was hidden, it didn’t stimulate further research • Effective public campaigns raising awareness of female victimisation • Discouraged (see Straus’s references) • Fear of having to share funding with men’s services 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

How is it that there is so little research on male victims? (2) • Media focus on sensational crimes by men against women • Stereotypes: men use violence because they’re bigger; women wouldn’t assault a man because he’s bigger • Tendency to ridicule male victims of women’s assaults • Politically incorrect to acknowledge male victims of female-perpetrated violence fear of discussing • Fear of getting it wrong 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Implications of ignoring male victims of female-perpetrated partner violence • Physical and psychological impact on men who are victimised – including suicide and self-harm + associated cost to the community • Impact on the children in these relationships • Service providers don’t know / learn how to respond appropriately to male victims • Building resentment in male victims who are ignored • More difficult for women using abusive behaviour to seek help • Women who use violence for whatever reason are more likely to suffer significant injury in retaliation from their male partners • Services don’t know how to respond to female offenders • Women are at risk of further violence in future relationships 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Beyond the paradigm. . . Responding. . . requires we recognise their existence. For male victims of partner violence, have to move beyond the paradigm that has prevailed for 40 years. . . served to minimise or deny their existence, thus compromising our ability to respond to them. The fact that [some]. . . are so unwilling to accept the. . . assault of men by women stems. . . from the deep and profoundly disturbing challenge. . . to long cherished male and female stereotypes. ’’ (George, 2003) 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Don’t take my word for it. . . A small bibliography follows for those who want to read more. Don’t just take my word for it – read the literature for yourself. You will see that: • there are male victims of partner violence • they (and their children) are prevalent enough to be worthy of services specifically for them • men aren’t only assaulted in self-defence or in retaliation for their own behaviour • they do suffer a range of physical and psychological injuries that can be serious 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

General References • Hamel, J. (2010). Do we want to be politically correct, or do we want to reduce partner violence in our communities? Partner Abuse, 1(1), 82 -91. • Cook, P. W. (2009). Abused men: The hidden side of domestic violence. Westport, CT: Praeger. • Straus, M. A. (2008). Bucking the tide in family violence research. Trauma, Violence and Abuse, 9(4), 191 -213. • Mc. Neely, R. et al. (2001). Is domestic violence a gender issue, or a human issue? Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 4, 227– 251. • Mihalic, S. W. et al (1997). If violence is domestic, does it really count? Journal of Family Violence, 12, 293 -311. • Mc. Neely, R. et al. (1987). The truth about domestic violence: a falsely framed issue. Social Work, (Nov-Dec), 485 -490. • Fiebert, M. S. (2008). References examining assaults by women on their spouses or male partners: an annotated bibliography. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Historical references for male victimisation • George, M. J. (1994). Riding the donkey backwards: Men as the unacceptable victims of marital violence. The Journal of Men’s Studies, 3(2) 137 -159. • George, M. J. (2002). Skimmington Revisited. The Journal of Men’s Studies, 10(1), 111 -136. • George, M. J. (2003). Invisible touch. Aggression and Violent Behaviour, 8, 23 -60. [George also provides a good analysis of the phenomenon of deriding and minimising men as victims. ] • Kelly, H. A. (1994). Rule of thumb and the folklore of the husband’s stick. Jnl of Legal Education, 44(3), 341 -365. [A well researched debunking of the perpetuated myth that a man had the legal right to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. ] 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

Recent references on prevalence of male victimisation • ABS Personal Safety Survey 2005. • Steinmetz, S. (1977 -78). The battered husband syndrome. Victimology. An international journal, 2(3 -4), 499 -509. • Straus, M. (1988). Violence in American families: How much is there and why does it occur? In Nunnally et al, Troubled Relationships. Newbury Park, CA: Sage. • Straus, M. A. (2007). Dominance and symmetry in partner violence by male and female university students in 32 nations. Children & Youth Services Review, 30, 252 -275. • Halford, W. K. et al. (2010). Relationship aggression, violence and selfregulation in Australian newlywed couples. Australian Jnl of Psychology, 62 (2), 82 -92. • Bala, N. An historical perspective on family and child abuse: Comment on Moloney et al, Allegations of Family Violence, 12 June 2007. Jnl Family Studies, 14(2), 271 -78. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

References on how and why male victimisation is difficult to see • Detschelt, A. (2002 -03). Recognizing domestic violence directed towards men. Jnl Legal & Public Policy, 249 -272. • Graham-Kevan, N. (2007). The re-emergence of male victims. International Journal of Men’s Health, 6(1), 3 -6. • Straus, M. A. (2007). Dominance and symmetry in partner violence by male and female university students in 32 nations. Children and Youth Services Review, 30, 252 -275. • Straus, M. A. (2007). Processes explaining the concealment and distortion of evidence on gender symmetry in partner violence. European Journal of Criminal Policy Research, 13, 227 -232. • Straus, M. A. (2009). Why the overwhelming evidence on partner physical violence by women has not been perceived and is often denied. Jnl Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 18(6), 552 -571. [Read the 3 Straus papers in this order as he systematically explains: 1) the evidence of concealment of male statistics 2) the methods / processes used; 3) the reasons why. ] 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

References on male injuries • Hines, D. A. (2007) Posttraumatic stress symptoms among men who sustain partner violence: An international multisite study of university students. Psychol of Men & Masculinity, 8(4), 225 -239. • Kimberg, L. (2008). Addressing intimate partner violence with male patients: A review and introduction of pilot guidelines. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 23(2), 2071 -78. • Dalsheimer, J. (1998). Battered men. A silent epidemic. Topics in Emergency Medicine, 20(4), 52 -59. • Duminy, F. J. et al. (1993). Assault inflicted by hot water. Burns, 19(5), 426 -438. • Krob, M. J. et al. (1986). Burned and battered adults. 18 th Annual Meeting American Burns Assoc. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net

References on female violence • Allen-Collinson, J. (2009) A Marked Man: Female-Perpetrated Intimate Partner Abuse. Internat. Jnl Men’s Health, 8(1), 22 -40. • Caldwell, J. E. et al (2009). Why I hit him: Women's reasons for intimate partner violence. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 18, 672 -697. • Hines, D. A. et al (2009). Women’s use of intimate partner violence against men: Prevalence, implications, and consequences. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 18(6), 572 -586. • Hamel, J. et al, (2007). Perceptions of motives in intimate partner violence: Expressive versus coercive violence. Violence and Victims, 22(5), 563 -576. • Hines, D. A. , & Douglas, E. M. (2010). Intimate terrorism by women towards men: Does it exist? Journal of Aggression, Conflict, and Peace Research. 19 th May 2011 Toni Mc. Lean 0409 599 887 www. thinktwiceprogram. net