Toward an Emotionally Safe Community HELPING OUR CHILDREN

Toward an Emotionally Safe Community HELPING OUR CHILDREN, OUR FAMILIES, AND OUR COMMUNITY DR. BARBARA FATUM WWW. TEACHEMOTION. COM WWW. 6 SECONDS. ORG

Charles Schultz It’s not an easy life to be a child, especially when you’re out there on your own, unprotected by supervising adults. (adults appear largely unaware of socially skilled children who strategically bully on playgrounds. Craig & Pepler, 1997; Hirschstein & Frey, 2006).

Mary Pipher, Ph. D. There’s been a real loss of community between family and schools. Our culture is at war with families. There’s a distrust in all institutions; many of us don’t make a distinction between benevolent and less benevolent authority. • The Shelter of Each Other, p. 9

The Need for EI The Search Institute’s (Bensen et al. , 1999, 2009) surveys of youth indicate that: 29% see themselves as thinking through the results of their choices and planning ahead – but 71% do not. 35% see themselves as respecting the values and beliefs of people of different races and cultures, but 65% do not. 24% report feeling that their teachers really care about them – but 76% do not.

Achenbach’s Surveys of America’s Youth (1993, 2003, 2013) Are American children’s problems (still) getting worse? Children are reported to be: Lonely and depressed Angry and unruly Nervous and prone to worry Impulsive and aggressive

© Six Seconds Why SEL?

What is Social and Emotional Learning? “The process through which people learn to recognize and manage emotions, care about others, make good decisions, behave ethically and responsibly, develop positive relationships and avoid negative behaviors. Such skills are critical components of the success of all schools. ” Elias, 2003

SEL and Academic Achievement “Students enrolled in SEL programs scored eleven percentage points higher on standardized tests relative to those who did not receive the program. ” (Weissberg, 2011) “In participating schools, up to 50 percent of children showed improved achievement scores, and up to 38 percent improved their grade-point average. ” (Durlak and Weissberg, 2005)

SEL and School Climate Schools with SEL programs have a more positive school climate in terms of student behaviors, relationships with each other and to their learning process and a greater level of ownership and investment in their education. Incidents of misbehavior dropped by 28 percent Suspensions dropped by 44 percent 63 percent of students demonstrated more positive behaviors. • (Durlack and Weissberg, 2005)

SEL and Resiliency SEL programs help: Ease depression in children and adolescents (Garber, 1993). Reduce emotional deficits that can be linked to eating disorders (Leon et al, 1993). Teach factors of Resilient People (Brene Brown, 2010)

(2003 -2006) Dr. Larry Leverett, Superintendent, Greenwich, CT Each day our students arrive at the doors of classrooms across America with challenges that serve as barriers to their success as learners…. Regardless of who they are, where they come from, or the extent of their poverty or wealth, the reality is that many lack the personal, social and emotional competencies to receive the maximum benefit of a rigorous standards-based instructional program.

Social Problem Solving “I use the social problem-solving method from the sixth-grade curriculum a lot, ” says Aruajo, referring to a problem-solving process developed for New Haven’s SEL curriculum. “When children come to my office, I go through the steps. I explain that it’s not about punishment; it’s about correcting misbehavior and taking responsibility. I emphasize that we are a family at this school, just as children have a family at home. I tell the students they have the power to make it a good day or bad day. They have choices. ”

The Six Seconds Model of EQ Definition of Emotional Intelligence: Using data from our emotions to shape and inform our decisions Antonio D’Amasio’s research Descartes’ Error (1994)

© Six Seconds

What IS Emotional Intelligence? Know Yourself Awareness EEL: Biodots – aim for engaged Fluidity calms the amygdala RCP: “Scripts” from an early age Choose Yourself Intent ACT: “I have a choice” EIM: Continues when the context changes EOP: Can take action to change adversity NVE: Escalator; Choice to Manage Emotions Give Yourself Connection and Purpose ICE: Walk with and experience the other PNG: Connect to larger purpose; align goals/purpose

Empathy “Look at both sides of the issue. ” “Don’t jump to conclusions. ” “Make sure you understand the other person’s perspective. ” “Develop a relationship/Create a bond. ” “Use active listening skills to diffuse anger or resolve tension. ” Teachers in Collaboration and Consultation

Empathy “Sometimes what you think you see is not what is really happening. ” “You need to talk to the person and find out what they are talking about…so you don’t make a wrong judgment. ” “You shouldn’t make assumptions before you check out what is happening. ” “You need to think about how you are to other people. ”

Denise Clark Pope Our children are experiencing health problems as a result of the stress and pressure they are feeling from being overscheduled and sleep deprived. Colleges are calling these students “Robo-Students. ” They know how to parrot material they are taught, but can’t create, think on their own, or solve novel problems. Pair-Share

Middle School Friends Social Brains

Iceburg 85% v. 15% Awareness makes emotional memory conscious “The Missing Piece” (Ledoux, 2004) EEL RCP Patterns of Yours?

Neurological Basis Emotions connect to feelings Bad Mood – notice more depressing things In Love – notice positive things Unpleasant emotions – motivated to avoid More intense emotions increase avoidance Unattended emotions increase in intensity Mirror Neurons: Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

EI teaches students how the brain works. Is this helpful? “EI helps kids know about how your mind controls your body in what you do. ” “EI conversations make me use my brain. ” “Learning about the brain makes EI real. ” “The brain connects emotions and thinking. ”

How has learning about EI helped you? “I’ve learned to do things by myself, more than I did before. ” “I like to interact with other people, to find out about them. ” “It’s not only about yourself, but looking at other people and seeing how they are reacting. ” “We have to make a lot of choices in life and EI teaches us how to make good choices. ” “Learning about different strengths lets you choose the stuff you are good at and work on the stuff you’re not so good at. ”

Value of EI Curriculum “We learn how emotions work and then they help you with situations in real life. ” “EI helps you relax and deal with things better. ” “I learned what to do with emotions and how to handle them, like what to do with anger. ” “I learned how to work better with people. ” “I have learned that I am not the only one having problems!”

Implications for Us Tools Breaking Patterns Developing Listening Skills Increasing personal awareness Increasing empathy Creating a community that nurtures our children www. 6 seconds. org www. Teach. Emotion. com

Putting EQ to the Test