Top Ten Ways To Tell If You Have

Top Ten Ways To Tell If You Have A Bad Home Page These items and graphics were written, designed and illustrated by Jeffrey M. Glover

Your Header Picture Is Over 50 K! v Not all of us have T 1 lines installed, ya know! Keep your pictures down to thumbnails until we care to download the whole thing!

Can you say "CROP"? v You put up a 400 K picture of yourself, and you appear in the lower-left 20 K!

We Can Only Stomach So Many Pictures of Your Pets v ". . . and this is my cat: Fluffy. v This is my dog: Fifi. v This is my llama: Frumpy. v This is my dolphin: Flippy. . . "

Obnoxious Background Music v Think about it. . . If we're trying to browse from our cubicle at work so your boss doesn't know, you can bet the instant we hear your lame MIDI interpretation of "Stairway to Heaven" your page is history.

You Use Bad, Bad Scans v Like some crappy 4 -bit GIF that looks like a film negative left out in the desert for five years.

Ticker Tape Status Bars v Those are sooooo February 1997.

You Use Construction Pics on Your Page v. I think we all know that pages are always under construction!

Your Home Page Consists of a Desperate Plea for a Job v http: //www. resume. com/boring. html

Blink v Enough said.

You're on Your Own Hot List! v Don’t try to do a sell job on yourself with your web page. People are looking for information that is relevant to them.