Top Ten Stinkin Thinkin Plus One Ten attitudes

Challenge # 1 Find ways to make your differences enhance your relationship, instead of

2. We need quality time, not quantity time 4

Challenge # 2 There is no quality time without quantity time; it’s up to

Challenge # 3 That’s right. The program doesn’t work for you. You have to

There’s too much water over the dam (So much has happened that we can’t

Challenge # 4 Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery, Today is a gift. That’s

Challenge # 5 Every self-built cage is built with bars of blame. 11

Challenge # 6 If you don’t like what you have, why are you protecting

Challenge # 7 Marriage is not a free lunch. Want fulfillment? Do your work.

8. This is hopeless until he/she changes I’m helpless to do anything about it.

Challenge # 8 No matter how stubborn he/she is, your hopelessness is because you

9. If I feel this bad, my marriage must be this bad 18

Challenge # 9 If you feel so bad that you have become despairing, ask

10. Rebuilding this marriage will take more effort than it is worth. 20

Challenge # 10 How much effort is “too much” for a fulfilling life? You

Bonus item We’ve done the Weekend and Post - now we can coast. 22

Bonus Challenge Have you ever noticed that you can’t coast for very long, unless

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Top Ten Stinkin Thinkin, Plus One Ten attitudes to keep you stuck (and some challenges to consider) 1

1. We’re too different; incompatible 2

Challenge # 1 Find ways to make your differences enhance your relationship, instead of using them as reasons to avoid intimacy. 3

2. We need quality time, not quantity time 4

Challenge # 2 There is no quality time without quantity time; it’s up to you to make the time. 5

3. The program doesn’t work for us 6

Challenge # 3 That’s right. The program doesn’t work for you. You have to do the work. How often do you dialog? Attend CORE? 7

There’s too much water over the dam (So much has happened that we can’t recover. ) 8

Challenge # 4 Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery, Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present. Your future starts today if you so choose. 9

5. I’m doing my best; he/she isn’t 10

Challenge # 5 Every self-built cage is built with bars of blame. 11

6. When he/she changes, I’ll change 12

Challenge # 6 If you don’t like what you have, why are you protecting it by refusing to change? 13

7. Marriage should be fun, not work. 14

Challenge # 7 Marriage is not a free lunch. Want fulfillment? Do your work. 15

8. This is hopeless until he/she changes I’m helpless to do anything about it. 16

Challenge # 8 No matter how stubborn he/she is, your hopelessness is because you haven’t learned what to do, or you refuse to change in ways that offer hope. 17

9. If I feel this bad, my marriage must be this bad 18

Challenge # 9 If you feel so bad that you have become despairing, ask yourself what irrational judgments you are making that lead you to give up. 19

10. Rebuilding this marriage will take more effort than it is worth. 20

Challenge # 10 How much effort is “too much” for a fulfilling life? You can’t reap what you don’t sow and nurture. 21

Bonus item We’ve done the Weekend and Post - now we can coast. 22

Bonus Challenge Have you ever noticed that you can’t coast for very long, unless you’re going downhill? 23