TOOLS FOR WRITING A HUMOROUS COLUMN OR STORY

TOOLS FOR WRITING A HUMOROUS COLUMN OR STORY Prepared by Prof. Ví©tor M. Vázquez Colón February 2016

1. TYPES OF FALLACIES OR FAULTY ARGUMENTS A. APPEAL TO IGNORANCE - When you use another person’s lack of knowledge as evidence that your own argument is correct. Example: “You can’t prove that there aren’t Martians living in caves under the surface of Mars, so it is reasonable for me to believe there are. ”

B. APPEAL TO AUTHORITY – When you try to attach your argument to a person of authority in an attempt to give credibility to your own argument. Example: “Although Alchemy is an ancient topic, I believe it should be taught in school. Isaac Newton believed in Alchemy, do you think you know more than Isaac Newton? ”

C. APPEAL TO POPULAR OPINION - When you claim that an idea or belief is true simply because it is what most people believe. Examples: “Lots of people bought this album, so it must be good. ” “I haven’t seen it yet, but Deadpool has got to be nominated for the Oscars. All my friends loved it. ”

D. ATTACKING THE PERSON – When you substitute an argument with a personal insult. Examples: “Don’t listen to Luis’s arguments on education, he’s an idiot. ” “Miriam doesn’t know anything about aerobics. Just look at her. ”

E. SLIPPERY SLOPE - When you assume that a very small action will inevitably lead to extreme and often ridiculous outcomes. Example: “If we allow gay people to get married, what’s next? Allowing people to marry their dogs? ”

2. “RED HERRING” FALLACIES A red herring is a fallacy argument that distracts from the original topic. Some may refer to this type of argument as a "smoke screen. ” Red herrings are frequently used in: Mystery, thriller and dramatic novels Political speeches Children's conversations with their parents Business announcements Government news releases

EXAMPLES OF “Red Herrings” “There’s too much talk about saving the environment. We can’t make this world an Eden. What will happen if it does become Eden? Adam and Eve got bored there!” Daughter: “Mom, I'm so hurt that Jason broke up with me. " Mother: "Just think of all the starving children in Malawi, honey. Your problems will seem pretty insignificant then. " Andy: "Hey, what's with all this junk food you bought? You're always railing at me about eating healthy. " Aunt Madge: "Don't fuss -- it was on sale. "

3. PLAY ON WORDS (OR PUNS) Examples: Santa’s helpers are subordinate Clauses. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here? ” I went to a seafood restaurant and pulled a mussel. Two salmon were swimming upstream and hit a wall. One says to the other, “Dam!” (instead of “damn”) A guy sent ten different puns to his friends hoping that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in tend did. “Deja Moo” – The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

4. HYPERBOLES A hyperbole is an extreme exaggeration used to make a point. It is like the opposite of “understatement. ” It is from a Greek word meaning “excess. ” Examples: I had a ton of homework. If I can’t buy that new game, I will die. He is as skinny as a toothpick. This car goes faster than the speed of light. That new car costs a bazillion dollars. “Be All that You Can Be” – U. S. Army “Breakfast of Champions” – Wheaties “First in Home Improvement” – The Home Depot

5. MALAPROPISMS (Using words incorrectly) Also called a malaprop - The use of an incorrect word in place of a word with a similar sound resulting in a nonsensical, often humorous utterance. Example: Baseball player Yogi Berra once said: "Texas has a lot of electrical votes. " (instead of "electoral votes. “)

More examples of malapropisms: He had to use a fire distinguisher. (instead of extinguisher) Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination. (instead of “figment”) Good punctuation means not to be late. (instead of “punctuality”) He's a wolf in cheap clothing. (instead of “sheep’s”) Michelangelo painted the Sixteenth Chapel. (“Sistine”) My sister has extra-century perception. (“sensory”) "Don't" is a contraption. (“contradiction”)

6. ROLE REVERSAL A situation in which two people or groups of people have chosen or have been forced to exchange their duties and responsibilities, so that each is doing what the other usually does. Examples: Men who have undertaken the most extreme role reversal and become house-husbands. The example in the article “Why Can’t We Have Our Own Apartment? ” by Erma Bombeck

7. TAUTOLOGICAL STATEMENTS (Needless Repetition) A humorous statement in which you say the same thing twice in different words. " Examples: "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. " "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. “ "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. " They decided to return for a second time. “Apple pie de piña” The vote was totally unanimous. “I never make predictions, especially about the future. “It’s no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or another. ” (G. Bush )

References 1. Examples of Fallacies – Retrieved 20 February 2016 http: //examples. yourdictionary. com/examples-of-fallacies. html 2. Red Herring Examples – Retrieved 20 February 2016 http: //examples. yourdictionary. com/red-herring-examples. html 3. Examples of Funny Puns – Retrieved 20 February 2016 http: //examples. yourdictionary. com/examples-of-funny-puns-and punny-funs. html 4. Examples of Hyperboles – Retrieved 20 February 2016 http: //examples. yourdictionary. com/examples-of-hyperboles. html 5. Malapropisms – Retrieved 20 February 2016 https: //en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Malapropism

References (cont. ) 6. Role Reversal – Retrieved 20 February 2016 http: //www. collinsdictionary. com/dictionary/english/role-reversal 7. Examples of tautology – Retrieved 20 February 2016 http: //www. buzzle. com/articles/tautology-examples. html