Today is the day to stop blaming Stop

Today is the day to… stop blaming

Stop Blaming Your Parents! �YES, even adults still sometimes blame their parents. �“Some people spend years of their lives blaming their parents for emotional problems they have had. They obsess about their parents’ mistakes. ” ◦ (Drs. Elder and Paul in 25 Days to Better Thinking…Ibid)

All parents make mistakes. Realize that some make significant mistakes.

The past is the past… “Focus your energy today on letting go of the emotional damage you think your parents did to you. Focus on the present and the future. ” REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU NOW CAN CREATE WHO YOU ARE BECOMING (Ibid)

Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself “Only you stand Remember that you are not that in your way. unique. . . “Only you can leave the past in the past. ” “Very few people survive childhood without emotional scars. ” (Drs. Elder and Paul, Ibid)

OUR AUTHORS HAVE ADDED AN IMPORTANT FOOTNOTE ON P. 55: “We acknowledge that some emotional scars are so deep that you cannot solve them without professional help, and…” (Ibid) PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE NOTE ON P. 55

These thoughts are “focused on the vast majority of problems over which a person does have control”. (Ibid)

“As adults, we need to take responsibility for who we are and who we are becoming…recognizing emotional baggage and getting past it. ” (Ibid)

By Taking Charge of Your Thinking, You Have a Choice Living in misery Blaming your parents Focusing on yourself as a victim LEADS TO A LIFE OF DEPRESSION AND RESENTMENT By taking charge of ◦ Your thinking, and thus… ◦ Your emotions ◦ Your desires YOU CAN BECOME THE AUTHOR OF YOUR LIFE (Ibid)

Consider the wisdom of an ancient Hawaiian proverb: “Either you eat life or life eats you. ” Only you—not your parents—can determine which of these two possibilities you embrace. ◦ (Drs. Elder and Paul, Ibid)

“NEVER DOES THE HUMAN SOUL APPEAR SO STRONG AND NOBLE AS WHEN IT FOREGOES REVENGE, AND DARES TO FORGIVE AN INJURY. ” -E. H. Chapin

Five Strategies �You will find five very direct strategies that you can use for “taking charge of who you are, ” as our authors state it. �See their five “Strategies” on pp. 55 -56 in the book, (Ibid).

Today is the day to… STOP BLAMING YOUR PARENTS

DAILY REFLECTION NOTES � Today I was successful in using the following ideas/strategies: � The key insights that emerged for me today were: � One problem in my thinking that I now realize is: � I plan to continue working on this problem using the following strategy:

The source for this material is… 25 Days to Better Thinking and Better Living: A Guide for Improving Every Aspect of Your Life, by Dr. Linda Elder & Dr. Richard Paul, Pearson, 2006; and the Center and Foundation for Critical Thinking, CA.