TIPSMAPP Meeting 5 Helping Children Learn Healthy Behaviors

TIPS-MAPP Meeting 5 Helping Children Learn Healthy Behaviors

Review • What did you learn from Meeting 4? • Who would like to share a strength or a need? • Please turn in Road Work from last week and previous weeks. 5 -A

The Cycle of Need

Cycle of Need – Physical Abuse, Neglect, Maltreatment and Sexual Abuse

Patterns of Response

Definitions of Discipline and Punishment is an action or behavior which functions to decrease or stop a behavior. Discipline is a process designed to teach alternatives to challenging or disruptive behaviors/respons es.

What’s Our Own Experience with Punishment? • Raise your hands if you: • Have used physical punishment as a form of discipline or have had physical punishment used on you by someone who loved you? • Have never used physical punishment as a form of discipline or never had physical punishment used on you by someone who loved you? • What types of physical punishment have you used or has been used on you by someone who loved you? • Why do you think physical punishment is used as a form of discipline?

Forms of physical punishment used on children, not in an abuse situation? Spanking, Slapping, Pinching, Thumping, Ear pulling, Extreme physical exertion, Hitting with an object (belt, wooden spoon) Forms of non-phyiscal punishment? -Kneeling in a corner -Excessive amount of chores -Going to bed without food -Embarrassment -Belittling or name calling -Salting old wounds or bringing up the past

Why would physical punishment not work or might be harmful for children who have been abused or neglected? What are some examples of discipline techniques from your own experience that would teach kids who have been abused or neglected?

What Discipline Should Teach Discipline of children who have been abused or neglected should teach children to: Understand feelings and needs Understand the connection between feelings and behaviors Learn healthy ways to get needs met (problem solve) Feel good about their relationships with adults and other children Feel good about themselves

Cycle of Need – Punishment

Cycle of Need – Discipline

Parenting Strategies that Connect

Discipline Techniques to Help Children Learn Healthy Behaviors Activity Directions: Make sure you have three challenging behaviors identified Write each of the challenging behaviors on three different Post-its. You should have nine Post-its, each one of three challenging behaviors Make sure you have your name of each Post-it, as well as the age of the child you are thinking about for this activity Place your nine Post-its under the discipline techniques you think you may be able to use with your challenging behavior Be prepared to share your ideas with the larger group

Foundational Principles • To the best of your ability, present yourself neutral and remain calm. • Don’t personalize behaviors. • Remember that the behavior is an expression of the child’s past trauma or needs—for some it is the only way they know how to communicate. • We address harmful behaviors, not ignore, keeping in mind that the behaviors could stem from past trauma. • View and manage the behaviors from a trauma-informed perspective. • Setting healthy boundaries and structure in the home is a way of providing that signal of care. • Be realistic about your expectations.

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The Power of Positive Reinforcement “The tongue has the power of life and death. ” Proverbs 18: 21 E-5

Choosing Discipline Strategies to Keep a Child Safe Small Group Directions: Handout 7 Select a group facilitator to keep the group on task Select a recorder/reporter For your assigned child or youth, write effective discipline strategies In the fourth column, write ideas about how the selected discipline strategy will assure safety and teach a child how to manage behavior Be prepared to report your ideas in 12 minutes

Roadwork Read the following handouts: “Side Effects of Physical Punishment. ” #9 “Shared Parenting And Alliance Building” #12 “The Importance of Birth Parents to Children in Foster Care #13 Complete your Strengths/Needs Worksheet for Meeting 5