Tips and Strategies for Effective Discipline Discipline Punishment

Tips and Strategies for Effective Discipline

Discipline Punishment § Discipline is a set of rules that govern a person's § Punishment is defined as imposing behaviour and conduct. § Discipline is the process of shaping and molding a child’s attitudes and behaviours over the years; it focuses on teaching desirable future behaviour. § Discipline teaches. . . § what to do in the future § problem solving § appropriate interaction § self-discipline § Discipline promotes growth, enhances self esteem, and helps children internalize appropriate behaviour. external controls by force on children to change their behaviour. § Punishment focuses on inflicting suffering for past behaviour. § Punishment might involve. . . § inflicting pain § imposing suffering § enforcing unrelated penalties § personal or emotional attacks

Emphasis on. . . Child obeys because of. . . Parent’s attitude. . . Purpose is. . . Result is. . . Punishment stopping misbehaviour fear control and anger suffering and pain dependency Discipline learning proper behaviour love and respect love self discipline growth

§ The misbehaviour often stops immediately. § Children often show remorse during punishment. § The parent gets to blow off steam. § The parent feels in control. § The parent hasn't let the children “get away with it”. § The parent was raised that way.

§ attention § power § revenge § inadequacy

§ Ignore minor, irritating behaviour. § Praise and reward positive behaviour. § Be specific with praise. § Work with the child to set basic rules. § Decide together what consequences will result from breaking the rules. § Use consequences consistently and calmly when rules are broken.

§Anticipate trouble. §Give gentle reminders early. §Offer choices. §Overlook small annoyances.

Fix Up § When children cause trouble or hurt another child, expect them to fix it up, or at least try to help. § Examples: § If they break a toy, ask them to help you fix it. § If they make a child cry, have them help with the soothing. § If they throw toys around the room, ask them to put them away.

Ignore Attention Seeking Behaviour § If misbehaviour is aimed at getting your attention, simply ignore it. § Be sure to give attention to your children when they behave well; children need attention for good behaviour, not misbehaviour.

Be Firm § Clearly and firmly state, or even demand, that the child do what needs to be done. § Speak in a tone that lets your child know that you mean what you say, and that you expect the child to do as he or she is told. § Being firm does NOT mean yelling, nagging, threatening, reasoning, or taking away privileges. § Keep suggestions to a minimum, and always speak kindly, even when speaking firmly.

Stay in Control and Set Limits § Act before the situation gets out of control. § Act before you get angry and overly frustrated. § Act before the child's behaviour becomes unreasonable.

Removal/Separation from Situation § When children irritate one another, fight, squabble, hit, or kick, have them rest or play apart for a time. § Being apart for a while lets each child calm down. Then, you can use other ways to encourage better behaviour. § “Cool off”/Time Out is sometimes appropriate (depends on age and situation).

Behaviour Management § Talk with children calmly to learn what caused a disagreement. Then talk about ways to deal with it. § Come to a solution that's agreeable to both you and the children. This helps children learn to be responsible for their behaviour.

Redirection § When children get rowdy, stop them, explain why you are stopping them, and suggest another activity. § Examples: § When they knock over paint, give them a cloth and a pail of water to clean up the mess. § When they race dangerously indoors, if possible, take them outside for a game of chase. § When they throw books at each other, gather them for a story time, or organize a beanbag toss.

Praise § Give more attention and praise for good behaviour, and less for naughty behaviour. § Don't make punishment a reward. § Let the child know that you appreciate a good attitude and cooperation. § Children respond positively to genuine respect and praise.

Natural Consequences § Natural consequences are the direct result of a child's behaviour. § The parent does not have to take action UNLESS the consequence is dangerous (eg. , ignoring instructions not to touch a hot stove). § Examples: § Child does not get ready in time for hockey, despite reminders. Natural consequence = child misses hockey. § Child refuses to eat dinner. Natural consequence = child misses the meal.

Logical Consequences § Used when the natural consequence is dangerous (eg. , running into the street; natural consequence = getting hit by a car. Not OK) or ineffective. § Arranged by the parent; should be related to the undesirable behaviour. § Examples: § Teen borrows car and does not bring it home in time for you to get to work. Logical consequence = teen loses privilege to use car for some time.

§ Knowing the Ages and Stages of your children helps you to understand their developmental pace, and what they are able to accomplish at each stage. § Piaget’s Theory of Cognitive Development is one example of the Ages and Stages of children. § Don’t expect too much from your child too soon; this will lead to frustration and unfulfilled expectations. § Example: don’t expect your three year old to be able to tie his or her shoes without any help. § Provide safe, age-appropriate ways for your child to fulfill behavioural expectations in order to help them prepare to move onto the next stage.