Timed Writing Feedback Essay 6 RA Gandhi Essay

Timed Writing Feedback Essay 6 RA - Gandhi Essay 7 A - Overrated

Scores. . . ● ● I scored both essays Only the higher of the two will go into the gradebook No comments on these because of our return activity We’ll do rhetorical analysis today and argument tomorrow

Score TW 4 RA TW 5 A TW 6 RA Luce Creativity Gandhi 9 2 2 2 8 4 4 5 7 6 5 5 6 9 12 5 5 10 9 12 4 2 2 4 3 1 0 0 2 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 Score Breakdown: Period 1

Score TW 4 RA TW 5 A Kelley Creativity TW 6 RA Gandhi 9 2 1 0 8 7 1 2 7 4 3 5 6 8 9 9 5 8 10 10 4 1 3 3 3 0 0 1 2 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 Score Breakdown: Period 3

Rhetorical Analysis ● Pretty solid! ● Clear understanding of the task at hand ○ ○ Rhetorical situation = relationship “Being aware of the delicacy of the situation, Gandhi. . . ” ● Rubric: “For the purposes of scoring, analysis means explaining the rhetorical choices an author makes in an attempt to achieve a particular effect or purpose” ○ TTT

Rhetorical Analysis ● Nice variety of “rhetorical choices” ○ ○ Original observations that show critical thinking Avoiding device hunting/organizing around “case” (purpose) rather than “choice” (strategy) ■ “In the beginning, Gandhi expresses his first purpose: to make the British ‘see the wrong they have done to India’”

Rhetorical Analysis ● Nuance and subtlety: ○ ○ “His case” ■ Go deeper than just “independence” ■ “Injustices such as the taxation of salt led to civil disobedience spearheaded by Monahdas Gandhi. An advocate for peaceful protest, Gandhi wrote to a British representative in order to demonize British command of India, reveal the absurdity of the situation, and try to promote cooperation between the crown and the activists. ” “Rhetorical choices” ■ Tone is not just meek and mild, nor merely threatening

Rhetorical Analysis ● Above the arch question: What is Gandhi’s case to Lord Irwin? ○ Working with the people at your table, identify one aspect of Gandhi’s “case” in your assigned section.

Rhetorical Analysis Intro: When people refer to the heart, they often claim it is the place in which the soul resides. Mohandas Gandhi recognized the power of this fragile organ, and attempted to attack a broken and corrupt British monopoly with the weapon of love…. Conclusion: Even when attacking a corrupt and suffocating monster of unjust control, Gandhi did not forget his message of love for all. With this letter he not only battled the injustice of the English system, but spread his idea of acceptance and love for his enemies.

Rhetorical Analysis Intro: Hammurabi’s Code, an ancient code of laws celebrated as civilization’s first, introduces the concept of “an eye for an eye, ” or “if someone harms you, you harm them. ” This ideology is also reintroduced as karma, a popular belief that revolves around universal payback, which is unique to Hinduism and is even supported by physics, as one of Newton’s Laws states that “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. ” Mohandas Gandhi, however, does away with that form of thinking and instead uses peace and nonviolence to combat the oppression of his people at the hands of British imperialists. By the time he concludes his letter, Gandhi has already proposed his idea of “civil disobedience” in order to protest the Salt Act and is now justifying it using a combination of figurative language and peaceful diction.

Rhetorical Analysis Conclusion: Martin Luther King, Jr. stated that the only way to defeat hate is with love. The Bible states that a foolish answer provokes wrath, but a wise one turns it away. By using a calm, non-provocative tone, Gandhi avoids an ad hominem argument, and proves his point without the added challenge of an angry Lord Irwin.

Rhetorical Analysis “Gandhi continues by explaining to Irwin that this is an attack against the unjust tax, not the innocent British citizens and that he does “not seek to harm” the British, but rather work with them. To execute this Gandhi uses an analogy that compares the British to his family--in order to explain that he will treat them as such--with kindness and respect, even as they perform ill deeds. Gandhi does this to reassure Irwin that he will not seek retaliation nor revenge, but simply wants change to protect his people. Gandhi writes that he will use the “same weapon” he has “successfully used against the dearest members of [his] family; ” this kind tone allows for Gandhi to continue the ending of his letter with blame and warnings without angering them too much. This beginning almost adds a qualification to his later grievances, as if saying “with respect and love!”

Rhetorical Analysis ● Keep practicing! ○ Modes readings annotations ● Next step: increasing speed

When I call your name. . . 1) Come pick up your essay. 2) Record your score in your handbook. 3) Review your feedback. AP Score Letter Grade % Values Scaled 40 9 A+ 100 8 A 95 7 B 85 6 B- 80 5 C 75 4 D+ 68 3 D 63 2 F 58 1 F 50

Break! ● Talk to someone who is not sitting at your table. Discussion question: which essay do you feel more confident about? Why? ● Record your score in your handbook.

Speed Practice You have 15 minutes to read the prompt, create an arch method pre-write, and write a thesis. Do this on a separate sheet of paper, with your name on it. Format: Arch method on the top part of the paper, thesis below. Label clearly and follow the format. Use your handbook if you don’t know this (then learn it, you should know this). Finish: 10: 13 For homework: Read the Sanders anchor essays and commentary

Argument Overrated

Score TW 4 RA TW 5 A TW 6 RA TW 7 A Luce Creativity Gandhi Overrated 9 2 2 2 0 8 4 4 5 5 7 6 5 5 9 6 9 12 5 9 5 10 9 12 9 4 2 2 4 2 3 1 0 0 1 2 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 Score Breakdown: Period 1

Score TW 4 RA TW 5 A Kelley Creativity TW 6 RA Gandhi TW 7 A Overrated 9 2 1 0 0 8 7 1 1 1 7 4 3 5 5 6 8 9 9 10 5 8 10 10 11 4 1 3 3 2 3 0 0 1 0 2 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 Score Breakdown: Period 3

Argument ● Great balance of background knowledge without doing too much explaining. I now know all about Kim Kardashian, Tom Brady, Spiderman, and Popeye’s Chicken Sandwiches. ● Nice work TTT - giving a reason, supported with an example, then an explanation of how and why that makes it overrated ● Nice transitions and connections between ideas. ○ [Previous paragraph was about abolishing slavery and why America is overrated. ] Of course, the 1860 s was a long time ago and isn’t exactly regarded as America’s finest hour. That distinction goes to the 1950 s and 60 s, a time of economic prosperity and great innovation. ”

Argument ● Give your reasons for why it’s overrated in your thesis ○ AP: Don’t analyze how it got to be overrated, focus on the reasons why it’s overrated ● Focus on one idea, not multiple things that are overrated. ● What’s the alternative? If this thing is bad, your “so what” should focus on a solution/what to do instead. ● Avoid overstatement and oversimplification. Think through your logic. Where could someone poke holes in your ideas? ● Beef up organization. Focus on one idea at a time, and don’t get distracted by every shiny new thing. ○ Without becoming formulaic

Argument - Next Steps ● Love the stylistic risks! But. . . use caution/discretion with the hyperbole. ● Argument essays are a great place to play with various modes. Start with a narrative, or describe something in great detail. ● Be way more specific with evidence/examples ○ “People, ” vs. “My aunt Sally, ” or “social media influencers” vs. “[okay I don’t really know any social media influencers, but name someone specific]”

Argument - Next Steps ● Strong essays: included a concession that explained why it’s highly rated in the first place, then reacted to that ○ Marriage and romantic relationships surround society and influence almost every person. People make comedy stand-ups purely around their experience in love, and it is a go-to joke in social media because it is expected that most people can relate or want to. It is almost completely expected that everyone gets married some time or another, even though that may not be what everyone desires. In the past, before booming overpopulation and disease or starvation constantly keeping the population stable, romantic relationships and marriage were important to help increase reproduction--and therefore survival. Now, deaths at young ages are incredibly low in first world countries, and it is hard to see the necessity of marriage or romantic relationship--and it calls into question why they are so ingrained and expected of us. Romantic relationships, while they can be enjoyable and supportie, are not necessary anymore. . .

When I call your name. . . 1) Come pick up your essay. 2) Record your score in your handbook. 3) Review your feedback. AP Score Letter Grade % Values Scaled 40 9 A+ 100 40 8 A 95 38 7 B 85 34 6 B- 80 32 5 C 75 30 4 D+ 68 27 3 D 63 25 2 F 58 23 1 F 50 20