Three Kinds of Love Relationships Resource FACS 280

Three Kinds of Love Relationships Resource: FACS 280 D. Abbott, Fall 2001

Directions: In your “notes” section make 3 columns on your notebook page › Romantic love/Infatuation › Unhealthy Love › Enduring Love Brainstorm 1 -2 characteristics of each column

Romantic Love You idealize the partner and see only the good things You see each other as very similar and compatible Few differences or conflicts are revealed Physical attraction and/or sexual interaction dominates the relationship Deep passionate yearning for each other

Romantic Love (cont) Difficult to concentrate and get things done because ALWAYS thinking other person Enjoyment, excitement and fun in being together and sharing experiences High level of openness and communication

Unhealthy Love Emotional roller-coaster high one day, lonely and depressed the next Partner restricts your contact with family and friends, you are isolated Physical or emotional abuse Overly dominant/dependent relationship, not free to express yourself Either partner engages in unhealthy behaviors: promiscuous sex, alcoholism, gambling, pornography or drug use, etc.

Unhealthy Love (cont) Why stay in unhealthy relationships? Habit and convenience, fear or loneliness Low self-esteem, feel you don’t deserve better Afraid partner will hurt you if you leave Unaware or in denial that relationship is unhealthy

Unhealthy love (cont) 1. 2. 3. 4. How to get out of a bad relationship? ! Make a quick and permanent break, don’t get sucked back in Spend time with family and friends, ask for their help Expect it to take time and realize it will be painful Realize there are better people you can date/marry

Enduring Love You feel a general sense of trust, security and confidence in the relationship Love what you do and how you treat the partner more than how you feel about the partner You accept the other person is not perfect, also realize your own faults and weaknesses You allow your partner to grow and change over time

Directions: Think of an example of a relationship from your own life that fits each column

GUESS: MYTH OR REALITY Hold up the Red card if you think it’s a Myth Hold up the Green card if you think it’s Reality

Myth or Reality There is a “one and only” soul mate out there for each person that will bring instant happiness and long-term satisfaction. MYTH! THE REALITY: The instant happiness and satisfaction will wear off.

Myth or Reality There are many persons you could marry successfully, and no matter who you marry, you will experience some difficulties and conflict. REALITY!

Myth or Reality Love conquers all. Love can overcome all differences between us, such as different values, religion, cultures and parenting philosophies. MYTH!

Myth or Reality The feeling of love that one feels during dating should never change, and if that ecstatic, euphoric feeling goes away, then love, too, has left. MYTH!

Myth or Reality Strong physical attraction (or lust) can be immediate. Feelings of love, caring and concern can develop over time. REALITY!