This multimedia product and its contents are protected

This multimedia product and its contents are protected under copyright law. The following are prohibited by law: any public performance or display, including transmission of any image over a network; preparation of any derivative work, including the extraction, in whole or in part, of any images; any rental, lease, or lending of the program. CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 1) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Chapter 5: Verbal Messages

§ Verbal refers to oral and written words § Verbal messages without words (laughter, vocalized pauses such as “um” or “erm”) are nonverbal CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 2) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Verbal Messages

Metacommunication § “Meta” – about § Metacommunication, metalanguage, metamessage § “Don’t talk to me that way. ” § “We need to talk about our fight. ” CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 3) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Verbal Messages (cont. )

1. Messages are packages of verbal and nonverbal signals 2. The meaning of a message is in the people, not the message itself; meanings are in people, not words CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 4) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages

3. Meanings are connotative and denotative § Denotative – objective § Connotative – subjective, emotional § Snarl words, purr words – highly emotionally charged negative or positive 4. Messages vary in abstractness CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 5) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages

5. Messages vary in politeness § Maintain positive face – seen positively or respected § Maintain negative face – stay autonomous § Indirect language is more polite § Cultural differences § In-group and out-group messages § Politeness online CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 6) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages (cont. )

6. Meanings can deceive § Types of lies: § Pro-social deception to achieve good § Self-enhancing deception to make yourself look good § Selfish deception to protect yourself § Anti-social deception to harm others § Ways people lie § Behaviors of liars CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 7) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages (cont. )

7. Messages can criticize and praise Praising § § Use I-messages Use positive facial affect (express your feelings) Name the behavior you’re praising Consider culture CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 8) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages (cont. )

7. Messages can criticize and praise (cont. ) Criticizing § § Own your thoughts and feelings with I-messages Be clear Avoid ordering or directing Consider the context or situation CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 9) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages (cont. )

8. Messages vary in assertiveness § “I win, you win” philosophy even in confrontation § Assertiveness varies culturally § Steps to assertive communication § § Describe the problem State how it affects you Propose workable solutions Confirm understanding CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 10) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages (cont. )

9. Messages can confirm and disconfirm § Disconfirmation –ignores the other person’s presence and communication; leads to lowered self-esteem § Rejection – disagree or reject the person’s ideas or behaviors but still recognize the person § Confirmation – acknowledges and accepts the other person; leads to increased self-esteem CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 11) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages (cont. )

CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 12) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Offensive communication is disconfirming § § Language reflects and creates attitudes Intentional or unintentional Individual -isms Institutional -isms CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 13) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages (cont. )

Offensive language is disconfirming (cont. ) § Ableism – against people with disabilities § Racism – assumption of inferiority § Heterosexism – includes assuming that everyone is heterosexual CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 14) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages (cont. )

Offensive language is disconfirming (cont. ) § Ageism –toward elderly but includes other ages § Sexism – gender-biased language includes such as “generic he” § Biased listening CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 15) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages (cont. )

10. Messages vary in cultural sensitivity Cultural identifiers – language to talk to and about people of different groups § § Race and nationality Affectional (sexual) orientation Age Sex and gender CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 16) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Principles of Verbal Messages (cont. )

1. Extensionalize: avoid intensional orientation § Intensional orientation – view labels rather than things or people as they exist § Extensional orientation – view people or things as they are rather than how they are talked about their labels CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 17) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Guidelines for Using Verbal Messages Effectively

2. See the individual: avoid allness § Allness orientation – judge whole based on experience with part § Nonallness orientation – there is always more to know and say CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 18) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Guidelines (cont. )

3. Distinguish between facts and inferences: avoid fact-inference confusion § Factual statements – description based on things you observed § Inferential statements – conclusions based on what you observed § Fact-inference confusion CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 19) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Guidelines (cont. )

4. Discriminate among: avoid discrimination § Indiscrimination –stereotyping; focus on group instead of each unique member within group § Discrimination – recognize that not member in the group is alike CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 20) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Guidelines (cont. )

5. Talk about the middle: avoid polarization § Polarization – fallacy of either/or § Thinking in extremes makes us forget other possibilities CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 21) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Guidelines (cont. )

6. Update messages: avoid static evaluation § Static evaluation – keep attitudes and beliefs about someone despite inevitable changes CH 5: Verbal Messages (slide 22) Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved Guidelines (cont. )