Theres only two types of writers Good writers

We’d rather have pictures than that boring stuff.

No one reads our copy. I mean, who likes all those words? Our stories

Art students do pottery, drawing and painting. “I took art because I like to

Alexis Hernandez tucked the unruly wisp of hair back into place with her mud-caked

Do you see the hair falling in her eyes?

So, maybe they like stories, just not boring ones.

Lion and Bronco fans were on their feet as Boyd’s offense ran onto the

Trailing by 6 with 1: 15 left in the quarter, the kick return unit

Robert fielded the ball on the 17 -yard-line and fired off behind a Dario

On the final drive of the game, Coffey hurled a ball into the Lions’

The Writing Process - Not • Make handwriting neater. Leave out all the scratch-outs.

Revision - Step 1 • In a word processing program, run a word count.

Revision - Step 2 • Read it aloud. Mark any place where you stumble,

Revision - Step 3 • Look for summarized or implied dialog • Rewrite using

For example • I slinked into the • publications room that Monday, picked up

Revision - Step 4 • Circle all the -ly words -- adverbs. • Select

For example - enhances • At the end of my junior year, I anxiously

For example - enhances • The teacher’s high heels clicked with each step as

For example - contradicts • She leaned down close to his ear and whispered

Revision - Step 5 • Underline all the verb phrases twice. • On a

For Example - Bad Verbs • The good ol’ boy system was still in

For Example - Bad Verbs • • Was Sat Was walked

For Example - Better Verbs • Administrators rooted in the good ol’ boy system

For Example - Better Verbs • “Hell, we’re scraping bottom now, ” the associate

For Example - Active Verbs • • • Rooted Complained Didn’t have Combined Reconfigured

Revision - Step 6 • Spell check and grammar check with Word. • Check

For example • This is for the passage on the bus driving piece.

Revision - Step 7 • Leave the story alone for at least 24 hours.

Final Draft • At this point, an edit from another writer is crucial. •

A few more hints • Space once after periods. • Use a style sheet.

A few more hints • Due means a train or a baby. You usually

Lori Oglesbee JEA Mc. Kinney High School Kansas State Mc. Kinney, Texas University lao

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There’s only two types of writers Good writers and quitters

No one reads our copy.

I mean, who likes all those words?

Our stories are so boring.

We’d rather have pictures than that boring stuff.

No one reads our copy. I mean, who likes all those words? Our stories are so boring. We’d rather have pictures than that boring stuff.

Art students do pottery, drawing and painting. “I took art because I like to draw, ” art student Alexis Hernandez revealed. Some students think art is fun. “I think art is fun, ” Alexis added.

Alexis Hernandez tucked the unruly wisp of hair back into place with her mud-caked hands. She had battled with her bangs for the last 30 minutes as her bowl took shape on the pottery wheel. “Anybody got like a clippie? ” Alexis said to no one in particular in her Art I class third period. Her feet kept the wheel in a steady rotation with alternating tapping as the bowl became rounder and rounder.

Do you see Alexis at the pottery wheel?

Do you see the hair falling in her eyes?

Do you see her hands?

Do you hear her voice?

Do you see her feet?

So, maybe they like stories, just not boring ones.

Lion and Bronco fans were on their feet as Boyd’s offense ran onto the field following a timeout. The Broncos stood on the Lions’ 12 yard-line. With 1: 20 remaining, a touchdown would seal the game for Boyd but a defensive stop would force a fourth down. Boyd quarterback Jacob Coffey took the snap from under center and pitched left to running back Bryan Maxwell took the pitch, found a crease between his guard and tackle and shot out of a cannon into the south end zone. Lion fans could only hang their heads and reach for their car keys as they

Trailing by 6 with 1: 15 left in the quarter, the kick return unit headed out to the field in an attempt to set up the offense with decent field position. Sophomore kick returners Robert Radway and Dario Jackson adjusted their alignment to field what they thought would be a squip kick, but a confident Bronco kickoff team decided to kick deep instead. “It was such a nervous feeling being on the field for that play, ” Robert said. “Before we went out on the field Coach told me I was going to run it back, and when they kicked it deep, I knew I had a chance. ”

Robert fielded the ball on the 17 -yard-line and fired off behind a Dario Jackson block. The front four on the kick-off team opened up a seam on the left side of the field. He burst through the crease leaving all Broncos behind except for the kicker. “As soon as I got to the kicker, it was over, ” Robert said. “I broke his tackle and blew right by him. ”

On the final drive of the game, Coffey hurled a ball into the Lions’ secondary in desperation only to be picked off by safety Matt Hanson.

On the final drive of the game, Coffey hurled a ball into the Lions’ secondary in desperation only to be picked off by safety Matt Hanson. “It was nice being the guy to put the nail in the coffin, ” Matt said. “But our kick return is what won the game. ”

The Writing Process - Not • Make handwriting neater. Leave out all the scratch-outs. • Use thesaurus to find bigger words. • Computer spell check and grammar check. • Type it. • Add filler to make it longer.

Revision - Step 1 • In a word processing program, run a word count. • Write that number in the top right corner of the first page.

Revision - Step 2 • Read it aloud. Mark any place where you stumble, pause in confusion or have to reread. • Rewrite those sentences.

Revision - Step 3 • Look for summarized or implied dialog • Rewrite using the actual exchanges said during the scene. • You may tailor this step to your needs. You may want the students to add examples, supporting evidence, or other content-specific elements for the assignment.

For example • I slinked into the • publications room that Monday, picked up an application from the quiet lady in the classroom • brimming with activity. I filled it out and returned it. Hope Carroll took me when I needed it most. I was in. I dried my tears, and on Monday morning, trudged into the publications room, picked up an application, filled it out and turned it in. To my surprise, they took me. “Welcome to yearbook, ” said the lady with the glasses that covered half her face and the reassuring voice that let me know others had suffered setbacks and found their home here, “I know you’ll just love it here. Everyone does. ”

Revision - Step 4 • Circle all the -ly words -- adverbs. • Select a better verb if the adverb enhances. Keep the adverb if it contradicts the meaning of the verb.

For example - enhances • At the end of my junior year, I anxiously applied for an editor’s position. • At the end of my junior year, I applied for a couple of editor positions.

For example - enhances • The teacher’s high heels clicked with each step as she purposely walked to Edward’s desk. • The teacher’s high heels clicked with each step as she headed to Edward’s desk.

For example - contradicts • She leaned down close to his ear and whispered loudly, “If you think you’re funny, think again. ” • A whisper is not loud so there’s a contradiction there. • “killing me softly”

Revision - Step 5 • Underline all the verb phrases twice. • On a separate sheet of paper list the verbs straight down the page. • Look for weak verbs and rewrite those sentences. (ing verbs, verbs with lots of helpers, be verbs)

For Example - Bad Verbs • The good ol’ boy system was still in tact with administrators at a high school in South Arkansas when I sat down with them one afternoon. The topic of discussion was the lack of qualified bus drivers when I walked into the office after teaching summer school English that August.

For Example - Bad Verbs • • Was Sat Was walked

For Example - Better Verbs • Administrators rooted in the good ol’ boy system complained they didn’t have enough bus drivers. After federal courts combined two rival school systems in the name of desegregation, the bus superintendent reconfigured routes for this small Arkansas school district creating a need for even more bus drivers. • “Where are we ever gonna git that many drivers, ” the bus superintendent said.

For Example - Better Verbs • “Hell, we’re scraping bottom now, ” the associate superintendent said. “I can drive a bus, ” I said as I entered the room. • They rebuffed me with laughter and woman-driver comments.

For Example - Active Verbs • • • Rooted Complained Didn’t have Combined Reconfigured Rebuffed

Revision - Step 6 • Spell check and grammar check with Word. • Check “readability statistics” under preferences. (This will tell you what percentage of your sentences are in passive voice. ) Aim for less than five percent passive voice. • Compare the word count from the first step. By now, the piece should be 10 percent fewer words.

For example • This is for the passage on the bus driving piece.

Revision - Step 7 • Leave the story alone for at least 24 hours. • Read it aloud. • Make any needed changes.

Final Draft • At this point, an edit from another writer is crucial. • Make those noted corrections. • You should now have a great story.

A few more hints • Space once after periods. • Use a style sheet. • Take the reader into the moment. No broad, general statements about teens, life, society or the world. • No question leads. Instead answer the question. • Keep verbs in simple present, past or future. If your main verb has an –ing ending, you’re in the wrong tense. • Avoid “there” to begin a sentence.

A few more hints • Due means a train or a baby. You usually mean because. • People use “who. ” Objects use “that. ” • If a sentence has “that” in it, read the sentence without it, and if it makes sense, omit “that. ”

Lori Oglesbee JEA Mc. Kinney High School Kansas State Mc. Kinney, Texas University lao 4@mac. com Manhattan, KS loglesbee@mckinneyisd. net 866. 532. 5532 www. jea. org http: //www. homepage. mac. com/lao 4/Educati on 1. html Copy of this presentation