THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF THE GOOD MOTHER Jolivet

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF THE GOOD MOTHER Jolivet Chapter 4

FIRST COMMANDMENT THOU SHALT BOND WITH THY FETUS (Taikyô)

THOU SHALT BOND WITH THY FETUS Taikyô Stress and the Fetus The Hormone of Love The Fetus as a Person

SECOND COMMANDMENT THOU SHALT LOVINGLY DEVELOP THEY FETUS’ IQ

THOU SHALT LOVINGLY DEVELOP THY FETUS’ IQ The Recipe Starting Early – the Ishii-Doman method Plugging Mozart into your baby’s alpha waves.

THOU SHALT GIVE BIRTH IN PAIN Women told of the risks to fetus from epidural Mother’s suffering makes the child loveable No epidural encourages stimuli to baby Infant put straight into Mothers arms Establish symbiotic relationship “Skinship”

THOU SHALT STRIVE FOR ONENESS WITH THY BABY, NIGHT AND DAY Link between absence of skinship and bad treatment later in life Mothers should sleep with their children Lack of oneness leads to many disorders Lack of love engendered retarded development and sometimes autism

THOU SHALT BREAST-FEED THY CHILD DAY AND NIGHT FOR A WHOLE YEAR 1955, 70 -80% of Japanese women breast-fed children Correlation between economic development and production of powdered milk -1960’s only 20% breast-fed Emphasized importance/benefits of breast milk “All women who choose for personal reasons to bottle feed rather than breast-feed are thereby expressing an egoism which is bound to attract relational difficulties later on. ” Oketanti school of breast feeding

THOU SHALT PREPARE THY CHILD’S FOOD LOVINGLY 75. 5% of Japanese mothers prepared food themselves when child was ready Now all mother has to do is buy and open food “Before these gadgets existed the mother had to slice the bread or meat thus investing a part of herself in the task. ” “mother’s touch” is disappearing “Food prepared by a mother could never harm her children because it was prepared from the heart. ”

THOU SHALT WASH THY BABY’S NAPPIES THYSELF Disposable nappies considered lazy; hazardous to babies health Mothers expected to devote themselves to first ten years of child’s life Time spent washing nappies signifies love

THOU SHALT SHOWER THY CHILD WITH BOUNDLESS SELFLESSNESS Modern women egotistic Concerned with time and cost of children. 30 -40% of women don’t want children Mothers failing to give “undivided maternal love” to child responsible for development problems Mothers held responsible for physical and mental development of children Educational zeal is to blame for social deviancy

THOU SHALT TIRELESSLY SEEK TO ROUSE THY MATERNAL INSTINCT • • Kyutoku accuses mothers causing psychosomatic illness. He claims mothers lack maternal instinct. Also suggested is that Japanese society is being impeded by its maternal nature. The most dangerous types of mothers, states Kyutoku, is the ‘working mother. ’

THOU SHALT ABANDON ALL PROFESSIONAL ACTIVITY FOR (AT LEAST) FIVE YEARS Poorer farming communities depended so greatly on the work of women in the harvest that Hirai believes it has had an adverse impact. Hirai suggests that women with any sense of duty shall not pursue a career and stay home to raise children. He blames the disintegration of the family onto children being placed into a creche and the Welfare State Hirai observed children of working mothers who appeared emotionally neglected.

MAIN THEMES Oppressive to women A mothers service to her child Rigid expectations Bonding and love Caretaking expectations Sacrafices

COMPARE AND CONTRAST WITH CHINESE MOTHERS Similarities Mother’s/Female’s place Rigidity Culture Stress is undesirable Japanese Mothers Are like servants Encouraged to make great sacrifices

DISCUSSION Our perceptions Do you think the expectations for Japanese mothers are fair/acceptable? How do these practices differ from motherhood in the Western world?