The mysterious food chiritotechin This is a story

ちりとてちん (The mysterious food chiritotechin)

This is a story of Kin-san, who praises everything and Roku-san, who thinks he’s a mister know-it-all.

A retired man plans a go game gathering and orders lots of food and sake. The gathering gets cancelled at the last minute.

What should we do, Okiyo (house keeper)? There’s no way the two of us can eat all this food.

What should we do? We need somebody to help us eat this food. What about asking Kin-san to help? Good idea. Go ahead and invite him.

Oh, Kin-san, thank you for coming over.

How have you been? Long time no see.

What are you talking about? We just saw each other this morning… I had planned to get a group together for a game of go.

I don’t get that game at all. You put a bunch of black and white stones around a board and then you take them away, right? A simple man like me could never understand it. Go is only for smart people.

No, no, anybody can play the game.

Anyway, our game was cancelled and we’re left with all this food. I was looking for someone to help us eat it. So I sent Okiyo to invite you over. Have you eaten yet?

No. Okiyo-san came right as I was about to eat. That’s great! Can you eat some of this? Of course, it’s a dream come true. It’s a good thing I didn’t eat dinner!

Good. Okiyo, bring out the dishes. Kin-san is going to help us.

Have some “Nada no ki ippon. ” (good quality sake) I’ve heard of it, but never had it. This is it? It’s delicious! You haven’t tried any yet.

This is good. This is my first time trying it.

There’s a lot of food here too. How about some red snapper sashimi? I know that there is such a thing as red snapper sashimi but I can’t say I have ever tasted it.

Red-snapper sashimi, eh? what’s it made of? It’s red-snapper sashimi. It’s made of redsnapper… Try some! Here’s the wasabi. . . This is red snapper sashimi? It’s my first time. . . it’s delicious.

And have some grilled eel. I’ve heard of something called grilled eel, but I’ve never had it myself.

(Kin keeps eating and praising the food. ) You’re making me hungry. I want to eat some too. Okiyo, bring me some sake. I prefer it hot. And something light to eat. tofu, maybe.

Oh, you found some tofu. Left over from the other day? Wait, that was 10 days ago. What? Did you say the tofu has grown some hair?

That’s not hair. That’s mold. It’s spoiled. Throw it away. You have to take better care of the kitchen, Okiyo. Wait. Bring it over here.

Okiyo, bring some hot pepper, and find me an empty jug. And, go ask Roku-san to come over.

Kin-san, don’t be worried. I’m not going to ask you to eat it, but I would like to show you some entertainment.

Kin-san, you are always very appreciative. But, unlike you, Roku-san never appreciates anything. He’s always critical. I want to educate him. Kin-san, hide in the next room. You may peek at us, but don’t laugh.

And help yourself to food and sake. No? You don’t need any more? Well there’s some white rice too, feel free. White rice? I’ve heard of “white rice”, but never…

Roku-san, thanks for coming over. Sorry to bother you. Not at all. What did you need?

We had to cancel our go game and now we have a lot of food left. Since Okiyo and I can’t finish it, we needed somebody to help eat the food. Then, I thought of you.

Have you eaten dinner? Yes, I have. I’m sorry, that’s too bad. I’ll eat it for you. That’s good. Thank you.

Have some “nada no ki ippon”. Oh that’s the fake one. No, this is the REAL one, I got it from Nada. Even if it’s real, it’s probably watered down.

Here it is, try some. Just a little bit… I probably won’t like it.

If this is it…it’s acceptable.

How about some food? snapper sashimi? Sashimi has to be tuna for an Edokko (native of Edo/Tokyo).

Really? I don’t think so, I think snapper and flounder taste better. That’s what amateurs eat.

How about some unagi (eel)? That’s the farm-raised stuff isn’t it? Unagi has to be wild-caught for an Edokko.

I think the farm-raised fish are better. That’s what the amateurs think.

You are quite a gourmet, aren’t you? You have eaten a lot of good food.

Speaking of gourmet, a friend of mine brought me something from Taiwan. I think it is called… CHIRITOTECHIN. Are you familiar with it?

…oh, that stuff? Yes, I remember it. I used to eat it every day, when I was there. Good. Okiyo, bring that thing here. Yes, yes, I remember this.

You see, I have trouble with odorous foods like this--I just don’t know how to eat it. It stinks. What are you talking about? It’s the smell that makes it such a delicacy. . . Please go ahead and try it.

I think I’ll take it home. . . No, no please go ahead. I’ll take it home and enjoy it later No, Please have some right now.

You know, there is also a powdered version for instant cooking. Is it also called CHIRITOTECHIN? No. it’s called CHIRI-TTOTTE-CCHIN.

Your eyes start to sting. You don’t know how to eat it, do you? Yes, I do. Then, show me how.

Holding breath. With eyes closed… Pinching nose. . This smell is sure intense. It’s a sign that it’s fresh.

What? Sake? Here it is.

Delicious

Well, Roku-san, what does it taste like?

It tastes just like spoiled tofu.

The End