The Music of Frank Zappa MUGC 4890 027

The Music of Frank Zappa MUGC 4890 -027 • MUGC 5890 -028 Dr. Joseph Klein V. Religion

Zappa and Religion: Context for Criticism § Zappa raised in a Catholic family: mother devout and practicing, father lapsed. § Many historical aspects of religion are anathema to Zappa’s libertarian “live and let live” attitude: oppression of women, homosexuals, and ethnic minorities; manipulation of the poor and uneducated; indoctrination of the young; imposition of belief systems on “less advanced” cultures. § Judgmental and often hypocritical attitudes (regarding social, behavioral, and fiscal matters) among many religious leaders, who are often actively involved in the political system. § Zappa saw the suppression of free thought and inquiry, rooted in religious dogma, as a threat to a truly democratic society. § Televangelists, cult leaders, and other religious extremists prey on weakness, fear, and guilt—making lots of tax-free money in the process. § Zappa was concerned that the United States was becoming a “fascistic theocracy” as the result of rampant Christian privilege affecting laws, education, and public policy. § “Church of American Secular Humanism” (CASH): Zappa’s parody response to special benefits (tax, political) provided to churches in the U. S. video

Religion in the Project/Object § “Father O’Blivion” (Apostrophe’) § “Cosmik Debris” (Apostrophe’) § “Jewish Princess” (Sheik Yerbouti) § “Catholic Girls” (Joe’s Garage) § “The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing” (You Are What You Is) § “Dumb All Over” (You Are What You Is) § “Heavenly Bank Account” (You Are What You Is) § “Jonestown” (The Perfect Stranger) § “When the Lie’s So Big” (Broadway the Hard Way) § “Jesus Thinks You’re a Jerk” (Broadway the Hard Way) § “Church Chat” (You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore, Vol. 4) link

“Cosmik Debris” (Apostrophe’, 1974) (Now who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? ) Look here brother, Don't you waste your time on me The Mystery Man came over An' he said: "I'm outa-site!" He said, for a nominal service charge, I could reach nervonna t'nite If I was ready, willing 'n able To pay him his regular fee He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs And devote His Attention to me But I said. . . Look here brother, Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? The Mystery Man got nervous An' he fidget around a bit He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe An' he whipped out a shaving kit Now, I thought it was a razor An' a can of foamin' goo But he told me right then when the top popped open There was nothin' his box won't do With the oil of Afro-dytee An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo He said: "You might not believe this, little fella, but it'll cure your Asthma too!" An' I said. . . Look here brother, Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? (Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway? ) Look here brother, Don't you waste your time on me Don't waste yer time. . .

“Cosmik Debris” (Apostrophe’, 1974) I've got troubles of my own, I said An' you can't help me out So take your meditations an' your preparations An' ram it up yer snout "BUT I GOT A KRISTL BOL!, " he said An' held it to the light So I snatched it All away from him An' I showed him how to do it right I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head So I'd look like I was Deep I said some Mumbo Jumbo then An' told him he was goin' to sleep I robbed his rings An' pocket watch An' everything else I found I had that sucker hypnotized He couldn't even make a sound I proceeded to tell him his future then As long as he was hanging around, I said "The price of meat has just gone up An' yer ol' lady has just gone down. . . " Look here brother, Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris? (Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho? ) Don't you know, You could make more money as a butcher, So don't you waste your time on me (Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me. . . ) Ohm shonty, ohm shonty-ohm SSHONTAY

“The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing” (You Are What You Is, 1981) Has bought New Jersey last week 'N you suckers ain't gettin' nothin' Is Hare Rama really wrong If you wander around With a napkin on With a bell on a stick An' your hair is all gone. . . (The geek shall inherit nothin') While you WORK THE WALL WORK THE FLOOR WORK THE PIPE IN SERIOUS PAIN. . . Some take the bible For what it's worth When it says that the meek Shall inherit the Earth Well, I heard that some sheik You say yer life's a bum deal 'N yer up against the wall. . . Well, people, you ain't even got no kinda Deal at all 'Cause what they do In Washington They just takes care of NUMBER ONE An' NUMBER ONE ain't YOU You ain't even NUMBER TWO (So whaddya do? Hey!) Eat that pork Eat that ham Laugh till ya choke On Billy Graham Moses, Aaron 'n Abraham. . . They're all a waste of time 'N it's your ass that's on the line (IT'S YOUR ASS THAT'S ON THE LINE) Do what you wanna Do what you will Just don't mess up Your neighbor's thrill 'N when you pay the bill Kindly leave a little tip And help the next poor sucker On his one way trip. . . SOME TAKE THE BIBLE. . . (Aw gimme a half a dozen for the hotel room!)

“Dumb All Over ” (You Are What You Is, 1981) Ay! Hotel room mo-mo-mo-mom Ay-ay-ay-ay! Whoever we are Wherever we're from We shoulda noticed by now Our behavior is dumb And if our chances Expect to improve It's gonna take a lot more Than tryin' to remove The other race Or the other whatever From the face Of the planet altogether They call it THE EARTH Which is a dumb kinda name But they named it right 'Cause we behave the same. . . We are dumb all over Dumb all over, Yes we are Dumb all over, Near 'n far Dumb all over, Black 'n white People, we is not wrapped tight Nurds on the left Nurds on the right Religious fanatics On the air every night Sayin' the Bible Tells the story ‘N makes the details Sound real gory 'Bout what to do If the geeks over there Don't believe in the book We got over here You can't run a race Without no feet 'N pretty soon There won't be no street For dummies to jog on Or doggies to dog on Religious fanatics Can make it be all gone (I mean it won't blow up 'N disappear It'll just look ugly For a thousand years. . . )

“Dumb All Over ” (You Are What You Is, 1981) Those unbelievers From a neighboring state You can't run a country By a book of religion Not by a heap Or a lump or a smidgeon Of foolish rules Of ancient date Designed to make You all feel great While you fold, spindle And mutilate TO ARMS! Hooray! That's great Two legs ain't bad Unless there's a crate They ship the parts To mama in For souvenirs: two ears (Get Down!) Not his, not hers (but what the hey? ) The Good Book says: "It gotta be that way!" But their book says: "REVENGE THE CRUSADES. . . With whips 'n chains 'N hand grenades. . . " TWO ARMS? Have another and another Our God says: "There ain't no other!" Our God says "It's all okay!" Our God says "This is the way!” It says in the book: "Burn 'n destroy. . . 'N repent, 'n redeem 'N revenge, 'n deploy 'N rumble thee forth To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side ‘'Cause they don't go for what's in the book 'N that makes 'em BAD So verily we must choppeth them up And stompeth them down Or rent a nice French bomb To poof them out of existence While leaving their real estate just where we need it

“Dumb All Over ” (You Are What You Is, 1981) To use again For temples in which to praise OUR GOD ("Cause he can really take care of business!") And when his humble TV servant With humble white hair And humble glasses And a nice brown suit And maybe a blonde wife who takes phone calls Tells us our God says It's okay to do this stuff Then we gotta do it, 'Cause if we don't do it, We ain't gwine up to hebbin! (Depending on which book you're using at the time. . . Can't use theirs. . . it don't work it's all lies. . . Gotta use mine. . . ) Ain't that right? That's what they say Every night. . . Every day. . . Hey, we can't really be dumb If we're just following God's Orders Hey, Let's get serious. . . God knows what he's doin'. . . He wrote this book here An' the book says: "He made us all to be just like Him, " so. . . If we're dumb. . . Then God is dumb. . . (An' maybe even a little ugly on the side) DUMB ALL OVER A LITTLE UGLY ON THE SIDE… (etc. )

“Heavenly Bank Account” (You Are What You Is, 1981) He's got twenty million dollars In his Heavenly Bank Account. . . All from those chumps who was Born again Oh yeah, oh yeah He's got seven limousines And a private plane. . . All for the use of his Special Friends Oh yeah, oh yeah And if these words you do not heed Your pocketbook just kinda might recede When some man comes along and claims a godly need He will clean you out right through your tweed That's right, you asked for it, remember there is a big difference between kneeling down and bending over. . . He's got thousand-dollar suits And a Wembley Tie. . . Girls love to stroke it While he's on the phone Oh yeah, oh yeah At the House of Representatives He's a groovy guy. . . When he Gives Thanks He is not alone. . . He is dealin' He is really dealin' IRS can't determine Where The Hook is It is easy with the Bible To pretend that You're in Show Biz (And a-one, and a-two, and a. . . ) They won't get him They will never get him For the naughty stuff That he did It is best in cases like this To pretend that You are stupid (DUH. . . )

“Heavenly Bank Account” (You Are What You Is, 1981) Them to screw All of you. . . Yes, that's true! 'Cause he helps put The Fear of God In the Common Man Snatchin' up money Everywhere he can Oh yeah He's got Presidential Help All along the way He says the grace While the lawyers chew Oh yeah They sure do And the Governors agree to say: "He's a lovely man!" He makes it easier for He's got twenty million dollars In his Heavenly Bank Account You ain't got nothin', people Thank the man. . . oh yeah As we end another broadcast day Let me say That you ain't got nothin' And he's got it all And your miserable self Is against the wall The only thing you have not tried It's the sport of chumps That's SUICIDE

Religious Fundamentalism in America Jimmy Swaggart video Pat Robertson Jerry Falwell Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker

“When The Lie’s So Big” (Broadway the Hard Way, 1988) When the lie's so big As in Robertson's case, (That sinister face Behind all the Jesus hurrah) They got lies so big They don't make a noise They tell 'em so well Like a secret disease That makes you go numb With a big ol' lie And a flag and a pie And a mom and a bible Most folks are just liable To buy any line Any place, any time Could result in the end To a worrisome trend In which every American Not "born again" Could be punished in cruel and unusual ways By this treacherous cretin Who tells everyone That he's Jesus' best friend When the lies get so big And the fog gets so thick And the facts disappear The Republican Trick Can be played out again People, please tell me when We'll be rid of these men! Just who do they really Suppose that they are? And how do they manage to travel as far As they seem to have come? Were we really that dumb? People, wake up Figure it out Religious fanatics Around about The Court House, The State House, The Congress, The White Criminal saints With a "Heavenly Mission" -A nation enraptured By pure superstition Do you believe in the Invisible Army? (Yes, indeed!) When the lie's so big And the fog so thick And the facts kept forgotten Then the Republican Trick (Ketchup is a vegetable!) Can be played out again People, please tell me when We'll be rid of these men!

“Jesus Thinks You’re a Jerk ” (Broadway the Hard Way, 1988) [includes quotes from Light Cavalry Overture (von Suppé), The Battle Hymn Of The Republic (Steffe/Howe), The Twilight Zone Theme (Constant), Entry Of The Gladiators (Fucik), The Old Rugged Cross (Bennard), Dixie (Emmett), Louie (Richard Berry), Rock Of Ages (Toplady/Hastings), and a fragment of One Man - One Vote (FZ)] Yes, friends. . . Pass the plate around, friends… Join us, friends… An' he's got some planned for you! (Now, tell me that ain't true) There's an ugly little weasel 'bout three-foot nine Face puffed up from cryin' 'n lyin' 'Cause her sweet little hubby's Suckin' prong part time (In the name of The Lord) Give me that old time religion! Now, what if Jimbo's slightly gay, Will Pat let Jimbo get away? Everything we've heard him say Indicates that Jim must pay, (And it just might hurt a bit) Just a bit! But keep that money rollin' in, 'Cause Pat and naughty Jimbo Can't get enough of it (let's dance!) Get a clue, little shrew Oh yeah, oh yeah Jesus thinks you're a jerk Would he really choose Tammy to do His Work? Uh-uh! Hallelujah! (Yes, friends. . . ) Robertson says that he's The One Oh he sure is, if Armageddon Is your idea of family fun, Perhaps it's their idea Of an Affirmative Action Plan To give White Trash a 'special break'; Well, they took those Jeezobucks and ran To the bank! To

“Jesus Thinks You’re a Jerk ” (Broadway the Hard Way, 1988) Jim and Pat should take a pole (Right up each saintly gloryhole), With tar and feathers too -Just like they'd love to do to you ('Cause they think you are bad -Yes, they do! And they are very mad) 'Cause some folks don't want prayer in school! the bank! To the bank! And every night we can hear them thank Their Buddy, up above For sending down his love (While you all smell the glove) Henry Cisneros, ladies and gentlemen! (We'd need an ark to survive the drool Of Micro-publicans, raised on hate, And 'Jimbo-Jumbo' when they graduate) Conviced they are 'The Chosen Ones' -And all their parents carry guns, (Hey, look! Godzilla!) And hold them cards in the N. R. A. (Ah hellfire, Melvin, hey-hee!) (With their fingers on the triggers When they kneel and pray) ("I mean that. . . ") With a Ku-Klux muu-muu In the back of the truck, If you ain't Born Again, They wanna mess you up, screamin': "No abortion, no-siree!" "Life's too precious, can't you see!" (What's that hangin' from the neighbor's tree? Why, it looks like 'colored folks' to me -Would THEY do THAT. . . They'd been doin' it for years! Seriously? )

“Jesus Thinks You’re a Jerk ” (Broadway the Hard Way, 1988) And now, ladies and gentlemen, the dynamic Eric Buxton Imagine if you will, A multi-millionaire TV Evangelist, Saved from Korean Combat duty by his father, a U. S. Senator Studied law -But is not qualified to practice it Father of a "love child" Who, in adulthood, hosts the remnants Of papa's religious propaganda program Currently seeking the United States Presidency, Hoping we will all follow him into -The Twilight Zone Claims not to be a "Faith Healer, " But has, in the past, Dealt sternly with everything from hemorrhoids to hurricanes Involved with funding for an 'undeclared war' in Central America Claiming Ronald Reagan and Oliver North as close friends But, hey! What if Pat gets in the White House, (No fuckin' way, Ike, You know what I mean) The rights of 'certain people' disappear Mysteriously? Involved in suspicous 'taxavoidance schemes', (Under investigation for 16 months by the I. R. S. ) Claims to be a MAN OF GOD; Now, wouldn't that sort of qualify As an American Tragedy? (Especially if he covers it up, sayin' "Jesus told it to me!") (I mean vapor tight, we're like this, okay?

“Jesus Thinks You’re a Jerk ” (Broadway the Hard Way, 1988) -Surely I have failed somehow And Jesus will think I'm a jerk, just like you -If you let those TV Preachers Make a monkey out of you! I said: "Jesus will think you're a jerk" And it would be true! I mean that) I hope we never see that day, In The Land of The Free -Or someday will we? (‘ 92? ) Will we? (‘ 96? ) And if you don't know by now, The truth of what I'm tellin' you, Then, surely I have failed somehow There's an old rugged cross In the land of the Stainless Maiden -It's just burnin' on the lawn But this person looks like Tom Braden! Jim and Tammy! Oh, baby! You gotta go! You really got to go! Jim and Tammy got to go

“Church Chat” (You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 4, 1991) video link You know today the church is in a terrible state. the bucks just aren't rollin’ in like they used to. . . and when the bucks don't come in, the church comes up with a new gimmick to make you spend to Heaven. Now I know you don't know what I'm talking about, but what the fuck. but anyway, listen to this ladies and gentlemen, when the church wants to get your money they remind you about hell. (whoo-ho-ha-ha) If you commit a sin you're gonna go to hell. (oui-oui) Well let me give you an example, this boy over here; Tell 'em about it brother Zappa. Sometimes people say: that if you fuck somebody (oh lord) it's a sin, (oui-oui) this may or may not be true. (testify) This boy not only fucked somebody with his organ, but he also fucked a girl with a guitar, with an umbrella, with a zuchinni, with a shoe, with an enema bag. . . What else did you do? A vibrato bar! Some people would say this is a sin. and if you sin you're gonna go to hell. Well ladies and gentlemen: There ain't no hell. (oui) There is no such thing as hell. (oui) There is no hell, there is only France! (oui-oui) Oui, oui

Religious Cults: Jonestown Massacre Reverend Jim Jones and The People’s Temple cult; mass-suicide in Jonestown, Guyana on November 18, 1978 (918 dead, including 276 children). video

END OF SLIDESHOW

Pre-class Music

Frank Zappa: “Sleep Dirt”; “The Ocean is the Ultimate Solution” (Sleep Dirt, 1979) “Music is the only religion that delivers the goods. ” — FZ

Frank Zappa: “More Trouble Every Day (Swaggart Version)” (The Best Band You Never Heard in Your Life, 1991) “Children are naïve — they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you're asking for trouble. ” — FZ

Johnny Cash (arr. FZ): “Ring of Fire” Frank Zappa: “Cosmik Debris” (The Best Band You Never Heard in Your Life, 1991) “…defining these things in nuts-and-bolts scientific terms… takes some of the romance out of being dead. . . because of people's desires to have eternal life and to extend their influence from beyond the grave — all that Houdini type stuff — but basically, I think when you're dead, you're dead. ” — FZ

Frank Zappa: “Jonestown” (The Perfect Stranger, 1984) “The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own” — FZ

Frank Zappa: “Harder Than Your Husband” (You Are What You Is, 1981) “Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins? ” — FZ