The Covenant of Chastity We declare that God

The Covenant of Chastity We [declare] that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband wife. We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity…will one day stand accountable before God. Proclamation, ¶ 4, 5, 8

Understanding Our Sexual Nature and the Purposes of Human Intimacy In LDS life and thought, sexuality consists of attitudes, feelings, and desires that are God-given and central to God’s plan for his children…Sexual feelings are to be governed by each individual within the boundaries the Lord has set. Sexuality is not characterized as a need, or a deprivation that must be satisfied, but as a desire that should be fulfilled only within marriage, with sensitive attention given to the well-being of one’s heterosexual partner. Some Divine Purposes Procreation l Encyclopedia of Mormonism, 3: 1306 Souls: Participation in the Eternal Plan Bonding l l Souls: Misuse of the body damages the spirit Symbol: True “Soulmates” = one in spirit and body Growth and Well-Being l l Learning selflessness, WRA Sacrament: opportunity to join with and become like God

Understanding the Covenant of Chastity Not to be taken lightly (Alma 39: 3 -5) More than sexual abstinence before marriage and physical fidelity after marriage An expression of the condition of the spirit Not just a personal matter

The Scholarly Case for Chastity Premature bonding occurs through sexual intimacies (Poulson, 1999) l Desire for sex mistaken for complex needs for love, touch, and attachment l Bonding fostered by hormone oxytocin l Grow more attached with each sexual exchange, but without security l May deceive couples about quality of relationship Premarital sexual involvement is a predictor of lower marital satisfaction and stability (Kelly & Conley, 1998 Larson, 2000; Popenoe & Whitehead, 1999; Waite & Gallagher, 2001) In men, premarital sex predicts later extramarital sex (O’Connor, 2001) Most sexually active teens report wishing they had waited; many teen girls describe sex was “voluntary but unwanted, ” and often not very pleasurable Married people report greater sexual satisfaction than unmarried

Examining the Anti-Chastity Culture Subtle Half-Truths of Satan l l Legal Measures of “Mutual Consent” and “Responsible Sex” Media Messages about Wide-Spread Promiscuity Are We Really That Promiscuous? Statistics From the National Sex Survey (1992) N=3, 432 Marital Status Never married Cohabiting Married Number of Sex Partners Since Age 18 0 1 2 -4 5+ 12% 15% 29% 45% 0% 25% 37% 39% 0% 37% 28% 35% • 50% of all adults have had 3 or fewer sexual partners over their lifetimes. “These findings give no support to the idea of a promiscuous society or of a dramatic sexual revolution reflected in huge numbers of people with multiple casual sex partners. “ Sex in America, p. 105

Some Flawed Ideas About Human Intimacy "As animals, our sexual activity is driven by instincts. Therefore, sex it is not a moral, but a biological issue. “ "Sexual desires are the driving force behind nearly all human behavior. " "Suppressing our natural sexual desires is very dangerous and unhealthy. It can lead to all kinds of anti-social behaviors. People need a sexual outlet or they will have physical and mental problems. " "Human beings are not designed for monogamy, so adultery is inevitable. " "We don't need to get married. It's just a piece of paper; it doesn't really mean anything. If we're both free to leave, that proves we are really in love. “ "Life's too short not to have fun. You should fool around as much as you can. As long as it is consensual, no one will get hurt. " "Practicing 'safe sex' is a sensible and responsible way of expressing our uncontrollable sexuality. It removes the negative consequences of extramarital sex. " "Sex is dirty and sinful, and sexual feelings and desires are immoral. We should fight against all of our sexual feelings. “ “It is a sin to get pleasure from the body. Enjoying sex is wrong. ” "The only non-sinful purpose for sexual intimacy in marriage is procreation. "

Cultivating a Culture of Chastity Be Chaste Some helpful practices l Guard your thoughts and relationships carefully “Avoid people places and circumstances where [you] may not have control or lack room to navigate the temptations” (Personal Purity, p 53) l l Until you’re married, treat every person you’re with as someone else’s spouse Until you’re married, follow the 2 -out-of-3 Rule l l l Alone Close physical contact Long periods of time Help others be chaste by “unraveling the philosophies of the world” (text p. 54) l Use your influence as a peer, parent, or spiritual leader (see Protecting Purity by Top, B. L. , Chadwick, B. A. , and Evans, M. T. , BYU Magazine, Summer 2003)

A Look at the Chastity Status of the LDS Culture: All is not Well in Zion!

Specific Sexual Activity of LDS Youth: Where you live matters less than what goes on in your home and heart!

Influences on Premarital Sex: LDS Young Men

Influences on Premarital Sex: LDS Young Women

The Influence of Peers Peer Pressure Utah County Girls Participating in Sexual Activity Pressured by Friends = 36% Not Pressured = 1% Peer Example Don’t believe “They don’t try to get me to join them. ” Mere association matters! East Coast Young Men Participating in Sexual Activity “Most” or “All” Friends Had Experience = 31% “None” of Friends Had Experience = 1%

The Influence of Parents Regulation (Setting rules, monitoring compliance, dispensing appropriate discipline) l “Parents need to be more cognizant of what is going on” Pacific NW Young Women Participating in Sexual Activity Had Regulating Mothers = 7% None Regulating Mother = 23% Connection (Positive emotional bonds of love) l “Effective regulation must be based on strong connection” Psychological Autonomy (Freedom to think one’s own thoughts, sense of emotional/psychological competence) l “Denying psychological autonomy reduces parental influence and gives peers inordinate power”

The Influence of Faith Parents and leaders need to increase spirituality. “Parents, teachers and leaders need to recognize that it is not merely “activity” that we seek in youth, but personal testimony. ” Utah Valley Young Men Participating in Sexual Activity Believe in God = 5% Don’t Believe = 25% Leaders can also influence peer relationships and strengthen family ties.