The Chronicles of Dick Jones Story Dick is

The Chronicles of Dick Jones! !

Story: Dick is your average dude, going to work, paying off his car, and taking care of his family. One day Dick got this idea to embezzle money from the company he works for, “Thiz Industries” a company that helps disaster victims. In order for Dick to embezzle this money he must become the C. E. O. of the company, by looking smart and helping the fat cats. Due to the harsh economy though, if Dick Fails he could die of starvation, lack of shelter, or even kill himself because he can not find a new job. This is his story. Next Slide

Day 1 Howdy Dick how are you doing? Intern, James Taylor Fine. Awesome, you know me, the intern, James Taylor. I would like a change in management because being a intern here blows. So if you want to get to the top of the chain, you will have to kiss up, and answer some questions and treat people who are under you like lower class citizens. In short, I want to help you get to the top. Pay attention to these indicators: Job Title Knowing Names also helps, first and last names are important Good luck Dick, I’m rooting for you Next Slide

Day 2 Hey you must be Dick, I can tell King, Samuel L. Jackson ‘cause I am a king and starred in a ton of badass movie, also I have this constant white aura around me because I am good. I want to put money towards Haiti, but I need to see if this company is competent. So…. Yes Sir Yes My Lord Oh my god, you are Samuel L. Jackson I really have not seen any movies you have been in…

Good so Far… I play the piano, right? Well I was writing this letter to my homie, and I was tellin’ him, that my mediocre piano playing might be contagious. I forgot what mediocre meant though, and wanted to sound smart, can you tell me what it means? It means… Average Great Terrible Superb I really have not seen any of your movies.

GOOD JOB! That sounds right… I gotta go meet your boss, Mychal Rosinblack, I’ll put in a good word for you. Thank you sir. *Next Slide*

Epilogue to Day 2 Dick Jones went home to his wife and kids, and told his family about his new friend, King Samuel L. Jackson. Samuel met with Mychal Rosinblack. Dicks name is now in the hat for the next C. E. O. but he still has to use his quick wits, amazing coffee skills, and avoid hot women, in order to make it to the top. Can he do it? Next Slide

Day 3 C. E. O. MYCHAL ROSINLACK Dick, my boy! Hello… Kid Hey Buddy Boss

Samuel came in the other day, and said you helped him out. I am looking to retire, and need someone to take my place. My son is next in line, but he seems a little, well, a freaking idiot. I need this company in good hands, and with your initiative and the way you’re going, you may be that person. Stacy in sales needs some help, you know Stacy right, that one hot chick. Help her out will you? C. E. O MYCHAL ROSINBLACK Yes Boss I am retiring in three days and I don’t want to really hire my son. Next Slide

In Sales Hot accountant Olivia Munn Unfortunately, Stacey is not here today, but she left you this problem: “We received 4200$ to put towards Haitian disaster relief, but we need to 30% more. How much would that be after donations? $1260 $2940 $5460 $7140

GOOD JOB! Hot accountant Olivia Munn Oh thanks Dick, we would have never figured that out! We should date because you’re so smart! Well…. You’re hot You pretty I need to make EXCELLENT Coffee I think we should see other people

Epilogue to Day 3 After helping Olivia Munn, and talking to his Boss Mychal Rosinblack, Dick is now on his way to the top of the latter. He has only a few more tests to pass, and then he will have that C. E. O. title and be able to steal money from “Thiz Industries” but one mistake can end it all for him. Will Dick become the head C. E. O. or will he fail and go to jail? Next Slide

Day 4 C. E. O. ’s Son, Cid Rosinblack You must be Dick! My names Cid, and if you’re Dick, you must be the jerk trying to take my future! You probably think I am going to kill you right here, with my gun, but no I am better than that, and I will show my papa that you are just as much of an idiot as me. Ok…. Sir Dude Idiot Fool

C. E. O. ’s Son, Cid Rosinblack Yeah, you better call me sir, and soon enough you will call me boss, and I will fire you! That’s what you get for threatening my future job. Whatever, when I get “your” job you will be the first person I fire. Next Slide

Meanwhile in Sales What’s up hotness? Ok, creep, I needed some help because I don’t know. Anyway: The weekly donations of a money increased from 500, 000 to 600, 000. By what percentage did the donations increase? 17% 20% 83% 120% Next Slide

Day 4 Epilogue After Dick’s encounter with Cid, he knew the company was out to get him, well the future company. Dick now only has one option, get his C. E. O. promotion and continue his work for “Thiz Industries”. Luckily for Dick, Cid is an idiot, but now it is a race between time and Dick’s ability to get promoted before Cid. Next Slide

DAY 5!!!!! C. E. O. Mychal Rosinblack Dick, it’s a disaster! I am retiring today, and my son threw the company in turmoil, he could not answer a question for Olivia, and she winged it. Our numbers are totally off. I have to write some letters to our sponsors apologizing for our mistake, please help us! Yes, captain! Thanks Dick! Next Slide

Hot Accountant Olivia Munn Dick, thank Poseidon you’re here! First thing is first, we need to find out the donations increase from 500, 000 to 600, 000. By what percentage did the donations increase? 17% 20% 83% 120%

GOOD JOB! Thanks Dick! Just so you know that coffee was excellent! No problem! Next Slide

Dick, I am writing this letter to a sponsor, but I need someone to check my grammar. What does delicate mean? After 100 years of sponsoring “Thiz Ind. ”, many of Andersen’s delicate decisions effect this company Thin Fragile Creative Old

GOOD JOB! Of coarse, delicate means fragile! How could I be so stupid with this robot body! Don’t know sir, but I think your sponsor will be happy now. Next Slide

You’ve come a long way Dick, but you will need more impressive knowledge to pass my questions. Truth is I am the smartest guy at “Thiz Industries” and my questions will prepare you for you’re final test, answer these questions and that promotion might as well as be yours. Ok…. Are you serious you are a freaking intern? Bring it on Sally. Whatever you say. That big sword that you can not see on this slide is scary and it would suck if you threw it Intern, James Taylor

QUESTION 1 MEGA INTERN JAMES TAYLOR!. . . half a dozen bottlenose dolphins swept by us like torpedoes. I use the word torpedoes to describe the dolphins to suggest what? power and speed. intelligence and sensitivity. danger. fear.

GOOD JOB, QUESTION 2 What is the value of(3+25)/4 -(x+1) when x=7? Uh… -7 -1 7 1

GOOD JOB, QUESTION 3 Well looks like you’re smart enough to answer those questions but, if myriad is to many, then few is to Little A lot Weak You lose Dick

Treated Intern Like Lower Class Citizen! GOOD JOB! =[ Yeah shut your mouth and make me some coffee. Yes sir. Next Slide

CONGRATULATIONS YOU DEFEATED JAMES TAYLOR! Chump. Well looks like I lose, good luck Dick. Mychal told me to send you to his office. Next Slide

Meanwhile on the way to Mychal’s office. Well here we are, me and you Dick. Yeah, looks like it. Let’s see if you can answer my questions! This is really stupid, really if you all took basic high school math and English we would not have this mess, but whatever. Next Slide

If I have 2 apples and get 3 more apple how many apples do I have? Like…really? Yes, now answer the question, your multiplication may be strong but your addition is weak. 5 4 3 2

If I have 3 oranges and get two more how many oranges do I have? Enough of this. 5. Next Slide

Ok, this is stupid, I am getting your job, leave. I will be back. Next Slide

While in Mychal’s Office Dick! The company is working properly again, I can’t thank you enough. So I will give you the job I have had, C. E. O. Dick Jones! I trust you not to embezzle money or steal from the company or anything like that. If I could cry sir, I would. Next Slide

CONGRATULATIONS DICK! Next Slide

Epilogue to day 5 Dick got his C. E. O. promotion, and now Dick’s family can live in the lap of luxury. There are some things that must be resolved first though before Dick knows his life style. . . Next Slide

C. E. O’S OFFICE!!!!!! Dick has some final decisions he must make. The first of which is, would you like to fire Cid Rosinblack? Yes No

Cid is FIRED!!!! Cid, as you know you have been a pain sinse I have climbed my way to the top and took your job. Yeah. So I have a gun! You’re fired.

You fired Cid. After firing Cid, he decided to pursue his dream of being a NASCAR driver. He did end up becoming a driver, but got a sponsor ship with “People” magazine. This resulted in a loss of fans for Cid because NASCAR fans do not like People magazine. Next Slide

Next item of business. Do you want to embezzle money from the company for yourself? Yes! No!

You kept Cid, I decided to keep you on my staff. Cool! Yeah. . .

After Keeping Cid caused him to be shamed. Cid went out and became a drug addict. This lead into his eventual arrest and he is now doing 10 years time. Next Slide

Next item of business. Do you want to embezzle money from the company for yourself? Yes! No!

You Embezzled Money! Dick decided to embezzle money from “Thiz Industries” Dick got roughly 500, 000$ from this. This caused the company to plummet, however Dick used this money to cover up his trail. He decided then to move to Chile and be sure to look out for the sequel, “Chronicles of Dick Jones 2, Chilean Shakedown”

You did not Embezzle Money Dick decided his pay check from “Thiz Industries” was good enough. However he now wants to help Chile instead of Haiti. Using his amazing work ethic, coffee making skills, and ability to do math and English, he will become the C. E. O of an other company. Look out for “Chronicles of Dick Jones 2, Chilean Shakedown”

Honestly? GAME OVER! He literally threw the sword at you… Go Back. . .

GAME OVER! HE THREW THE MASSIVE SWORD AT YOU! Go Back. . .

GAME OVER! HE THREW THE MASSIVE SWORD AT YOU! Go Back. . .

GAME OVER! HE THREW THE MASSIVE SWORD AT YOU! Go Back. . .

GAME OVER! You tempted Cid and he threw a javelin at you! Go Back. . .

GAME OVER! You tempted Cid and he threw a javelin at you! Go Back. . .

GAME OVER! She thought you were hitting on her and MACED you to death! Using MACE vision! Go Back. . .

GAME OVER! She thought you were hitting on her and MACED you to death! Using MACE vision! Go Back. . .

GAME OVER! She thought you were hitting on her and MACED you to death! Using MACE vision! Go Back. . .

GAME OVER! You pissed off your boss, HE KILLED YOU! Go Back. . .

GAME OVER! You pissed off your boss, HE KILLED YOU! Go Back. . .

GAME OVER You pissed off Samuel L. Jackson, and he killed you using laser vision. Go Back. . .