The Bully The Bullied and the Bystander Recognize
The Bully, The Bullied and the Bystander Recognize, Refuse, Report By Ana Montemayor Martin HS guidance Department
1 Introduction 2 Recognizing Bullying 3 Refusing Bullying 4 Reporting Bullying Conclusion
The Cycle of Violence The Bystander The Bullies The Bullied
Bullying, Why Worry? • Because bullying is a subset form of aggression. • Because bullying can have a powerful and lasting effect on the bully, the bullied and the bystander. • Because bullying has negative consequences for victims, for bullies and for school climate. • Because targets of bullying are more likely to skip school and experience academic and emotional difficulties. • Because bystanders to bullying suffer too. • Because social cruelty hurts EVERYONE.
Introduction Research shows that bullying is not: • Harmless teasing • A normal part of growing up • But rather a widespread and serious problem • • • Alarming statistics show that bullying can cause victims to suffer: Emotional distress Loss of self esteem Failure in school Depression Suicide (Olweus, Payne & Gottfredson, 2004)
What is Bullying? Bullying is aggressive behavior that • Is intended to cause stress and/or harm. • Exists where there is an imbalance of power. • Is repeated overtime.
Kinds of Bullying PHYSICAL Your Text here VERBAL RELATIONAL
Physical Bullying Hitting Shoving Destroying Personal Belongings Threatening to Hurt
Verbal Bullying Insulting Teasing Name-Calling Sexual remarks
Relational Bullying Spreading Lies Getting others to refuse to speak to someone Getting others to make someone feel rejected Getting others to exclude someone
Relational Bullying Relational bullying is a form of social isolation (Olweus, 1993). It is practiced mostly by girls. • It is a psychological and emotional, rather than physical form of abuse. • It uses relationships to inflict injury upon another. • It is every bit as painful as physical bullying.
Cyber-Bullying What is it? • It’s using the Internet or other mobile devices to send or post harmful or cruel text or images to torment, threaten, harass, humiliate or embarrass others. ” • Creating websites to ridicule others • Taking pictures using phone cameras and then sending it to others for the purpose of humiliating someone.
How to Recognize Bullying Direct Bullying Indirect Bullying • Hitting, kicking • Shoving, spitting • Taunting, namecalling • Degrading comments • Threatening gestures • Obscene gestures • Spreading rumors • Causing another person to be socially isolated. • Cyber bullying
Is it Normal Conflict or Is it Bullying? There is a general agreement that for a behavior to be considered bullying, it must have three elements. • It must be intended to harm • It must be repetitive • And a difference of power—physical, social or other exists between the bully and the victim. (Olweus, 1993).
Think RIP Repeated Behavior Your Text here Intentional Behavior Power-Driven Behavior
What Happens to Students who are bullied? • They feel trapped; they cannot escape the school cafeteria, the locker room, or the bathroom. • They feel a sense of shame, guilt and failure. • They feel hopeless. • They fear retaliation. • They have trouble concentrating in school. • They develop survival skills instead of social skills.
What to do If someone is bullying you, here are some ways to handle it. • Stay away from situations where bullying can happen. • Ignore the bully. If the bully doesn’t get a reaction from you, it’s no fun! • Act confident. Keep your head up and respond to the bully in a calm, firm voice. • Calmly try talking to the bully. Tell the bully how you feel and ask him to stop. ( safety first) • Walk away • Talk to an adult. They will provide you with the support you need. ( It is possible to end bullying without adult intervention, however, in some cases adult intervention and even law enforcement intervention is necessary. )
Handling Cyber Bullying If you get a message that makes you feel uncomfortable, breaks the rules that you been taught. • Stop • Block • Save evidence • Tell Cyber Bullying Tips • Remember that people on the internet lie about who they are • Keep personal information private • Do not join in on bullying behaviors • Report
What Happens to the Bully? No child is born a bully; It is a learned behavior • If bullies don’t learn how to change their behavior, the bullying behavior becomes a habit. • Bullying often predicts more serious problems. A study found that children who were named by their schoolmates, at age 8, as bullies were often bullies throughout their lives. • Bullies tend to have more criminal convictions, more alcoholism, more antisocial personality disorders.
How to Help the Bully Educators, parents, counselors can help the bully by: • Intervening immediately with discipline: restitution, resolution and reconciliation. • Creating opportunities to “do good” • Nurturing Empathy • Teaching respectful and peaceful ways to relate to others.
Who are the Bystanders? They could be: • Followers take an active part in the bullying by laughing or egging on the bully. • Disengaged onlookers watch the bullying but feel “it is none of my business” and don’t take a stand. • Supporters are passive bullies who support the bullying but do not take an active part
What Happens to Students who are Bystanders? • Standing idly by or turning away can become a contagion; bystanders are more likely to imitate bullying behavior. • Witnessing a bullying incident hurts the bystander’s self-confidence and self-respect. • A bystanders fear can turn into apathy and further tolerance of social cruelty to others. • Continued ignoring of the problem can create a school climate of indifference. • Students learn that it is better to be in the in group than to defend the outcast.
Bystanders! Take a stand for someone being bullied! B = Be helpful Y = You can make a difference S = Speak up, use humor T = Tell an adult A = Act assertively N = Never bully others D = Discuss other choices E = Empathize with them R = Role model good behavior S = Show support
Why do some students turn a Blind Eye? • They are afraid of getting hurt if they get involved. • They are afraid of becoming a new target of the bully. • They are afraid of making a situation worse. • They do not know what to do.
How to help the Bullied Defenders Standing up for a victim of bullying should be a way of life, not an option. If you know someone being bullied there are some things you can do to help. • Talk to yourself. Think about how you might feel if it were happening to you. • Talk to the bully. Say it’s not funny. • Talk to the victim. Tell them you are sorry and that you don’t like it. • Talk to the bystanders. If you see other students laughing or even joining in let them know that they are part of the problem. • Talk to an adult. Make them aware of the problem.
Don’t be an on looker walk away. Take friends with you. Talk to the bully privately. Tell an adult at school. Invite the victim to join you and your friends. How we Can Help Title Don’t gossip about what happened. Change the topic. Talk to the victim in private.
Safe Schools If you are a bully and don’t like yourself. You can change. • Stop and think about what you are doing • Practice doing good If you are being bullied. • Walk • Tell Remember your safety is always first. If you are a bystander • Recognize that bullying is harmful • Refuse to join in
School Rules • We will not bully others • We will try to help students who are bullied • We will try to include students who are left out • If we know that somebody is being bullied we will tell an adult at school
Evil prevails when the good do nothing!
Peace is active, Peace is doing, not waiting. Peace like war must be waged. Jimmy Carter
Martin High School Guidance & Counseling Department Mrs. Montemayor 9 th grade counselor
Internet Video • http: //www. browardprevention. org/antibullying/anti-bullying-policy-59/ • Student Anti-Bullying Policy Introduction Video (you need to connect directly to internet and project).
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