The Basics Bout the Brain Knowledge Skills Action

The Basics ‘Bout the Brain! Knowledge Skills Action Success in connecting our heart and minds now and in the future! Sheila “B” Buyukacar October 2013

What will it look like? Knowledge Techniques Success A view of what it could look like LANGUAGE & BEHAVIOR

CONNECT with RESPECT Two Positive Environment Frameworks “How to Talk so Kids will Listen…” Dr Haim Ginott Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish Late 1970 s ROUTINES-LANGUAGE-BEHAVIOR “Conscious Discipline” Loving Guidance Dr Rebecca Bailey 1990 s BRAIN DEVELOPMENT CHILD DEVELOPMENT ROUTINES-RITUALS-STRUCTURES LANGUAGE-BEHAVIOR

Conscious Discipline The Framework Basic Knowledge about… Brain Development & Child Development #1 Best exercise for the brain is exercise. Environment should be… Safe & Nurturing #2 The brain is pattern seeking, survival oriented. Two states of being… Extending love or Calling for love #3 The brain functions optimally when the person feels safe (from their point of view). Action to be given… Information or Understanding #4 Connection on the outside with other people builds neural connections on the inside… essential for healthy wiring of the brain!

Three Brain States Prefrontal Lobe Limbic Brain Stem

Brain Stem-Survival State Functions: Survival Systems Modulate states of arousal Unconscious Born with Brain Stem IS IT SAFE? I am safe! Fight/Flight/Fool Dissociate Developmental Need SAFETY Source: Conscious. Discipline. com

Limbic-Emotional State Limbic Functions Emotional tone: flexible-rigid Motivation-Attention System Attachment, relationships Stores emotional memories Unconscious Comes online with the NOs Do you love me? Developmental Need I am valued! External Approval, You “make” me… Relationship driven CONNECTION Source: Conscious. Discipline. com

Prefrontal Lobe-Executive State Functions Prefrontal Lobe Impulse Control/Self Control Empathy/Working memory Sustained attention Planning/Prioritization/Initiation Organization, Time Management Online with “WHY’s” What can I learn from this? Developmental Need Problem Solving in Social Settings I can handle anything! Wisdom/Empathy Give & Receive Love Manage Impulses/Plan/Organize Source: Conscious. Discipline. com

Three Brain Smart Principles Problem Solving Consciousness frees us to respond instead of react to life events. It introduces “choice” so we can intentionally create new options for ourselves and others. The freedom of choice is an evolutionary change in perspective from feeling victimized to feeling empowered. Frontal Lobe Problem Solving Connection Relationships directly shape the structure & function of the brain. Human connections create neural connections in the brain. Connection Limbic Safety Brain Stem Safety The brain functions optimally when it feels safe. Source: Conscious. Discipline. com

Resources Available Limitless • Respond • Choices • Empower Limited by Experiences • Emotions/Feelings Brain Responses What can I learn? (I can handle anything) Problem Solving Do you love me? Connection Limbic (I am valued) Limited • Defend • Withdraw • Attack • Fool Frontal Lobe Is it safe? (I am safe) Safety Brain Stem Source: Conscious. Discipline. com

Positive Intent…Enables us to • See the Best in – others – any situation • Transform hurtful – disrespectful behavior into learning opportunities – Notice – Acknowledge – Act/Model

Brain Stem ~ Safety • Accept what is - See the Best glasses? – How can I help? • Calm down – Take a deep breathe – Exercise – Leave alone Problem Solving Connection • Give comfort-Help to feel Safe – – Touch/Rub/Hug/Caress Hum Sing Speak softly • You’re safe • Cry • Yell • Withdraw • Fight • Run away • Tantrum Safety

Limbic ~ Connection • Accept what is - See the Best – How can I help? • Notice – – – You seem… You didn’t know how to… I see x, y and z Your face is telling me… Your face is going like this… • Acknowledge – – Um, I see… I bet you wish It must be difficult It must feel Problem Solving Connection • Emotional responses • I feel • You make me • Emotional connections • I have value • I’ve pleased… • I’m loved/liked • Name calling • Labeling Safety

Frontal Cortex ~ Problem Solving • Accept what is - See the Best glasses? – How can I help? • Give Information - Remind – What’s another word you could have used? – Cell phones? • If you want to play you can go outside or play in your room • Ask a question Connection • Solution Driven Safety • I can • I am • Logical/Rational • How can I… Problem Solve • What now? – What could you have done differently? • Giving – What would have been helpful? • How can I help… – You can do X or Y. Which would be best for you? – Was that helpful or hurtful? – What’s the rule? • Problem Solving

Encouragement—A Complete Brain Tool • • • Requires Noticing Acknowledges value Connects everything You vs I Be specific Problem Solving Connection – Sincerity GOAL: Trigger neural connections to the Frontal (What have I learned? I’m helpful, I did it) AND Emotional feel goods to the Limbic (Am I loved? I’ve pleased her/him) **I have value** • Emotional connection • Notice • Impact to others • Frontal connection • Labels kind act • Impact to others Safety

You Statements What you might say! You vs I • • You did it! Way to go! What do you think? That was helpful! You must be proud! Problem Solving Connection Safety Way to Go! You Did It • Good Job—not good enough! Good Job

You can do it! What might you say? Hummm? You ____, so _____. That was helpful! You did it! Way to go! • Look for and create evidence • What you offer others you strengthen in yourself

CONNECT with RESPECT Questions? I wish you well!