The Assignment Your boss Senator Elaine Mandel is

The Assignment • Your boss, Senator Elaine Mandel, is a member of the State Senate Committee on the Judiciary. The Committee will shortly consider the proposed Child Firearms Safety Act, which states that “Any person who lives in the same household as a minor and who possesses a handgun shall store the handgun unloaded and in a locked container. ” Please write a short memo advising the Senator whether she should vote for the law.

The Child Firearms Safety Act as currently written is a well intentioned piece of legislation law which will likely have little effect on the incidence of minors accidentally killed by handguns. However, with some critical modifications the act could play a significant What play excess modifications the act could a significant role in lowering the number of minors lost to words of are there lost to role in lowering the number minors handgun accidents each year. These in this sentence? handgun accidents each year. These modifications should include: compelling either that the gun be kept in a locked container or unloaded; the inclusion of long guns in the Act; and making violation of the Act a felony offense.

The Child Firearms Safety Act is a well intentioned law which will likely have little effect on the incidence of minors accidentally killed by handguns. However, with some critical modifications the act could What play part aofsignificant this role in lowering the number of helpful minors lost to is really handgun accidents each year. These to the reader? modifications should include: compelling either that the gun be kept in a locked container or unloaded; the inclusion of long guns in the Act; and making violation of the Act a felony offense.

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The Child Firearms Safety Act will probably do little to protect minors from fatal handgun accidents. However, with some critical modifications the act could play a significant role in lowering the number of minors lost to handgun accidents each year. These modifications should include: compelling either that the gun [replace with: ] be kept in a locked container or unloaded; the inclusion of long guns Can you identify thein the Act; and making The Child Firearms violation Safety of the. Actin will athese felony probably offense. do redundancy little to protect minors from fatal handgun two sentences? accidents unless some critical modifications are made.

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The Child Firearms Safety Act will probably do little to protect minors from fatal handgun accidents unless it is changed. These modifications should include: compelling either to compel that either the gun that be keptgun the in abe locked kept in container a lockedorcontainer unloaded; or the inclusion unloaded; theofinclusion long guns of in long theguns Act; in and the making Act; andviolation making violation of the Actofathe felony Act a offense. felony offense. Can you identify some more redundancy on this page?

The Child Firearms Safety Act will probably do little to protect minors from fatal handgun accidents unless it is 1 changed to compel either that the gun be kept in a locked container or unloaded; 2 the inclusion of long guns in the Act; and 3 making violation of the Act a felony offense. Now that the to excess has modified to cover long guns, treat Inadequate been removed, we can see violations parallelism: as felonies, and to allow guns to some grammatical errors 1, 2, 3 be kept in a lockedand container or unloaded. other problems

The Child Firearms Safety Act will probably do little to protect minors from fatal handgun accidents unless it is modified to cover long guns, to treat violations as felonies, and to allow guns to be kept in a locked container or unloaded.

The Child Firearms Safety Act as currently written is a well intentioned piece of legislation law which will likely have little effect on the incidence of minors accidentally killed by handguns. However, with some critical modifications the act could play a significant role in lowering the number of minors lost to handgun accidents each year. These modifications should include: compelling either that the gun be kept in a locked container or unloaded; the inclusion of long guns in the Act; and making violation of the Act a felony offense. The Child Firearms Safety Act will probably do little to protect minors from fatal handgun accidents unless it is modified to cover long guns, to treat violations as felonies, and to allow guns to be kept in a locked container or unloaded.

The proposed Child Firearms Safety Act (the ‘bill’) is an inconsequential piece of legislation. Aside from the significant political impact of the bill, it carries little weight and makes little difference. Despite public misconceptions, the few benefits of the bill, notably the probable slight decrease in the number of childhood gun accidents, do not exceed the drawbacks, such as the inaccessibility of guns during a home invasion and loss of civil liberties. Therefore, unless some strong amendments are made to the bill, I recommend that you oppose the bill.

The proposed Child Firearms Safety Act (the ‘bill’) is an inconsequential piece of legislation. obvious legalese word choice What, really, does this say? The proposed Child Firearms Safety Act would be ineffective.

Aside from the significant political impact of the bill, it carries little weight and makes little difference. repetitive word choice What, really, does this say? It will do little good. throatclearing/ unhelpful substance

1 Despite public misconceptions, the few benefits of 2 the bill, notably the probable slight decrease in the number of childhood gun accidents, do not exceed the drawbacks, such as the inaccessibility of guns during a home invasion 3 and loss of civil liberties. 1. Throat-clearing. 2. Not really necessary. 3. Vague/possibly redundant. What, really, does this say? The few benefits of the bill, notably the probable slight decrease in childhood gun accidents, do not exceed the drawbacks, such as the inaccessibility of guns during a home invasion.

Therefore, unless some strong amendments are made to the bill, I recommend that you oppose the bill. word choice repeated phrase What, really, does this say? Therefore, unless some amendments are made to the bill, I recommend that you oppose it.

1 The proposed Child Firearms Safety Act would 2 3 be ineffective. It will do little good. The few benefits of the bill, notably the probable slight decrease in childhood gun accidents, do not exceed the drawbacks, such as the inaccessibility of guns during a home invasion. Therefore, unless some amendments are made 4 to the bill, I recommend that you oppose it. I recommend youthe oppose 1, 2, and 4 that all say law isthe proposed Child Firearms Safety Act. Itsit’s fewbad benefits, notably the bad; 3 explains why – probable slight decrease in childhood gun lots of redundancy here. accidents, do not exceed the drawbacks, such as the inaccessibility of guns during a home invasion.

I recommend that you oppose the proposed Child Firearms Safety Act. Its few benefits, notably the probable slight decrease in childhood gun accidents, do not exceed the drawbacks, such as the inaccessibility of guns during a home invasion. Focuses on abstractions I recommend that you oppose the proposed Child rather than the concrete things which only the Firearms Safety Act. The Act will to probably slightly decrease childhood gun accidents, but is abstractions refer, likely to make it substantially forabstract people to and “inaccessibility of guns”harder is itself defend themselves children against —the real problemand isn’ttheir inaccessibility, but criminals. interference with self-defense.

The proposed Child Firearms Safety Act (the ‘bill’) is an inconsequential piece of legislation. Aside from the significant political impact of the bill, it carries little weight and makes little difference. Despite public misconceptions, the few benefits of the bill, notably the probable slight decrease in the number of childhood gun accidents, do not exceed the drawbacks, such as the inaccessibility of guns during a home invasion and loss of civil liberties. Therefore, unless some strong amendments are made to the bill, I recommend that you oppose the bill. I recommend that you oppose the proposed Child Firearms Safety Act. The Act will probably only slightly decrease childhood gun accidents, but is likely to make it substantially harder for people to defend themselves and their children against criminals.