The 7 Stages of Marriage Presented by Rita

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The 7 Stages of Marriage Presented by Rita De. Maria, Ph. D. Council for

The 7 Stages of Marriage Presented by Rita De. Maria, Ph. D. Council for Relationships July 3, 2008 Smart Marriages Happy Families San Francisco, CA

The Timeline of Marriage Embrace Change • Every marriage is unique. • Change never,

The Timeline of Marriage Embrace Change • Every marriage is unique. • Change never, ever stops. • Incredible, inevitable journey • Live your stage. • Cultivate love

What difference does a Stage make? • Life experience is dynamic, changing and dimensional

What difference does a Stage make? • Life experience is dynamic, changing and dimensional • Life cycle development is predictable • Life cycle development is individual, interactional, and intergenerational • Life cycle development is marked by the passing of time

What is unique about the “ 7 Stages”? • Developmental issues and tasks have

What is unique about the “ 7 Stages”? • Developmental issues and tasks have been identified • Normative events are described • Practical exercises and activities useful in educational workshops and counseling practice

The Benefit of Knowing the 7 Stages • Provides a roadmap for today and

The Benefit of Knowing the 7 Stages • Provides a roadmap for today and tomorrow • Normalizes the experiences of marriage • Knowing the missions for the stages provides focus

Marriage Today • • Marriage is a value What the Stats tell us The

Marriage Today • • Marriage is a value What the Stats tell us The Reader's Digest Survey The Benefits of Marriage

Reader’s Digest Survey The Survey Says…. . • Marriage Isn’t Broken • It’s Really

Reader’s Digest Survey The Survey Says…. . • Marriage Isn’t Broken • It’s Really About Trust • Laughter is More Important than Sex • Guys Get Gushy About Marriage, Too • Challenges Make Us Stronger

7 Stages at a Glance • Passion • Realization • Rebellion • Cooperation •

7 Stages at a Glance • Passion • Realization • Rebellion • Cooperation • Reunion • Explosion • Completion

Measuring Your Marriage Life Long Journey • Stages don’t have start times – or

Measuring Your Marriage Life Long Journey • Stages don’t have start times – or ending dates. • Two stages can overlap. • You can “repeat” or revisit an earlier stage. • You can use the lessons of an earlier stage to enhance your current stage.

PASSION The Love Cocktail – Know the essential ingredients

PASSION The Love Cocktail – Know the essential ingredients

The Missions • Mission 1 – Savor the Passion • Mission 2 – Forge

The Missions • Mission 1 – Savor the Passion • Mission 2 – Forge a Sense of “We” • Mission 3 – Learn your Love Languages • Mission 4 – Build Emotional Intimacy • Mission 5 – Expand Your Sexual Vocabulary

REALIZATION The rose-colored glasses come off now – differentiation begins

REALIZATION The rose-colored glasses come off now – differentiation begins

The Missions • Mission 1: Understand your Expectations • Mission 2: Open, Honest Talking

The Missions • Mission 1: Understand your Expectations • Mission 2: Open, Honest Talking • Mission 3: Learn Empathetic Listening • Mission 4: Be Friends • Mission 5: Split Household Chores Fairly • Mission 6: Become a Money Team

REBELLION Me, Me! Growth through conflict - from control to compromise. . on to

REBELLION Me, Me! Growth through conflict - from control to compromise. . on to negotiation

The Missions • Mission 1: Turn Power Struggles into Acceptance • Mission 2: Move

The Missions • Mission 1: Turn Power Struggles into Acceptance • Mission 2: Move from Conflict to Problem. Solving • Mission 3: Set and Pursue Healthy Personal Goals • Mission 4: Renew Your Spirituality • Mission 5: Recover from Infidelities • Mission 6: Forgive Your Spouse and Yourself

COOPERATION Lots to do – work, family, friends, future planning Not enough time Not

COOPERATION Lots to do – work, family, friends, future planning Not enough time Not enough money Not enough sexual intimacy

The Missions • Mission 1: Let Parenthood Strengthen Your Marriage • Mission 2: Settle

The Missions • Mission 1: Let Parenthood Strengthen Your Marriage • Mission 2: Settle Conflicts – and Connect as Friends • Mission 3: Invite Romance Back into Your Marriage • Mission 4: De-Stress – and Make Love Again

REUNION The First Stage of the Rest of Your Marriage – strengthening mutuality

REUNION The First Stage of the Rest of Your Marriage – strengthening mutuality

The Missions • Mission 1: Shift Your Focus Back to Your Marriage • Mission

The Missions • Mission 1: Shift Your Focus Back to Your Marriage • Mission 2: Get off Autopilot • Mission 3: Welcome Boomerang Kids – Without Neglecting Your Marriage • Mission 4: Use Your Marriage to Create Good Health

EXPLOSION Random Crises Health -physical/emotional Work Family Trauma

EXPLOSION Random Crises Health -physical/emotional Work Family Trauma

 • Caring for Aging Parents • Mission 1: Make Care giving a Team

• Caring for Aging Parents • Mission 1: Make Care giving a Team Effort • Mission 2: Enjoy Your Marriage

 • Depression • Mission 1: Fight the Depression • Mission 2: Protect Your

• Depression • Mission 1: Fight the Depression • Mission 2: Protect Your Marriage – and Yourself

 • Job Loss • Mission 1: Set a New Budget – and New

• Job Loss • Mission 1: Set a New Budget – and New Priorities • Mission 2: Support Each Other

 • Weight Gain • Mission 1: Feel Good about Your Body • Mission

• Weight Gain • Mission 1: Feel Good about Your Body • Mission 2: Take care of your health and reduce your spouse’s anxiety

COMPLETION Recreating and Enjoying Life Continuity and Loss

COMPLETION Recreating and Enjoying Life Continuity and Loss

The Missions • Mission 1: Keep Your Marriage Growing • Mission 2: Play –

The Missions • Mission 1: Keep Your Marriage Growing • Mission 2: Play – And Be in the Moment • Mission 3: Share a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose • Mission 4: Reorganize Your Time, Your Territory, Your Tasks

Applications for Workshops

Applications for Workshops

Applications in Counseling Couples

Applications in Counseling Couples

Thank you! • Rita De. Maria, Ph. D. • 215 -628 -2450 • marriagedoctor@aol.

Thank you! • Rita De. Maria, Ph. D. • 215 -628 -2450 • [email protected] com • www. marriagedoctor. com • Note: The actual presentation PPT presentation may differ from the handout copy. Participants may contact Rita De. Maria for an updated handout.