The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Powerful
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Session 1: Problems and Solutions
I had a problem, a big one n n I had a well paid job. My boss is really nice. I saw a bright career path in front of me. I lived out of my own country and far from my family. I failed multiple times in relationships. I felt lonely after I went home. I wanted to have my own family. I am not happy!
In fact, everybody had one n n n I am having tremendous professional success, but it’s cost me personal and family life. I know I’m overweight. I tried all the ways without success. My employees are always waiting for me to give them orders. I am tired of that. I am too busy. I feel pressured and hassled all day, every day, seven days a week. My kid won’t listen to me anymore There is no love in my marriage. We don’t feel it anymore.
What’s the biggest problem you are facing? At work n In family n Relationship n Health n Time n Meaning of life n Death n
What to do with the problem? n Put it aside, try not to think about it n Worry about it n Talk about it n Work on it!
Deal with the problem n Acknowledge the problem l l l n Define the problem l l n A problem cannot be solved if we pretend that it doesn’t exist A real problem cannot be hidden A real problem won’t go away What’s bothering me most? Why? Write it down Solve the problem l How?
New Level of Thinking “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them” – Albert Einstein
The way we see the problem is the problem n n It’s “out there”. It’s the problem of the others. We look at the symptoms and ignore the root cause We expect some magic techniques and quick fixes. The real solution may be a long process and require significant efforts Examples: l l l Employees lack of loyalty Marriage without love Always busy, but little accomplished
How to see differently?
Paradigm - How do we “see” things? n The “lens” we all wear l l l n We all see things through our own “Paradigms”, which are our own ways of thinking. We may not know the paradigm exists, like contact lens. We think what we see is objective. But it may not be. Two people can see the same thing, disagree and yet both be right. Our unique experience creates the “lens” l l Family Education Environment Culture
Power of the Paradigm n Paradigm is our map l l n Paradigm determines l l n Reality, the way things are, where are we now. Value, the way things should be, where do we want to be Our attitudes Our behaviors Wrong map l l Try to find ways in New York using a map of Chicago. Working on attitudes and behaviors won’t help.
What to do with our Paradigms? Be aware of them n Take responsibilities of them, examine them, test them against reality n Listen to others, be open to their perspectives n Get the large picture n
Paradigm shift - “See” things differently n Paradigm shift is powerful l n Fundamentally change our attitudes and behaviors The only way for us to make significant and quantum changes l Science n n l Society n l From Earth center to Sun center From bloodletting to gem theory From Kings to Democracy Life n n Life threaten crisis Step into a new role
Solve our problems n What are the “maps” we are using? l l n Are the “maps” correct? l l l n The way we “see” things The way we “handle” things Can they explain our current situation? Can we get to the destination using them? Are we lost using the current map? Change the map
Thoughts about my own problem n My old paradigms l l n n There is only successful career path for me. I rely on my boss to promote me in the company ladder. To be successful in career, I have to live in United States. My perfect partner will fall into my life from heaven. We will fall in love immediately and be happy ever after. I just need to wait. Love is sweet and all about happiness. As long as I have a family, every problem will be resolved. My attitude and behaviors are solely based on those paradigms. Are they correct?
What’s the “correct map”? n Principles l l n Examples l n n Real, unchanging, unarguable and selfevident as natural laws Universally applicable among different societies and religions Only if you are trustworthy, you can earn long term trust Principles determine the results “Correct map” are Principle-Centered
Principles, Practices and Values n Principles vs. Practices l l n Guidelines vs. Activities Universal application vs. Situation Specific Always true vs. Work in some circumstances Principle empowers people to create variety of practices to deal with different situations Principles vs. Value l Objective territory vs. Map
How to change the “map”? n Inside-out l Start with yourself n n n l Private victory precedes public victory n n n l Paradigms Characters Motives Keep Promise to ourselves before to others Improve ourselves before improve the relationships Work on our characters before work on personalities Continuing renewal process
Inside-out examples n To have a good marriage l l n To have a pleasant, cooperative teenager l l n More understanding Empathic Consistent Loving To have more freedom, more latitude in your job l l l n Generate positive energy Sidestep negative energy Be more responsible More helpful More contributing To be trusted l Be trustworthy
Put the “map” inside us, permanently n Characters l l l n Examples l l l n Relatively permanent Distinguishing features Manifest when relates to others and reacts to various kinds of challenges Courage Honesty Loyalty Characters determine our destiny l l Determine our actions and reactions Determine how people see us and treat us
Characters Ethic vs. Personalities Ethic n Characters Ethic l n Personalities Ethic l l n The foundation of success come from the Characters like Integrity, Humility, Courage… Human and Public Relationship techniques Positive Mental Attitude Characters vs. Personalities l l l Inside-out vs. Outside-in Permanent vs. Inconsistent Natural vs. Artificial
The New Paradigm n The new level of thinking Principle-centered l Character-based l Inside-out l
Principles of Growth n Growth are sequential l l n Multiple Stages The later stage is built upon the previous one Each one is important. None can be skipped Each one takes time Example: Learning to run l Turn over, sit up, crawl, walk, run
The Paradigm Change Process n It’s a continuing renewal process Learn the principles l Build the characters l Start with ourselves l n Emotional Development Level l n Listening to others requires Patience, Openness, Desire to understand No quick fixes. No shortcut
Conclusion Solution to your problem Change the way you see the it
What’s next? n We learned l l n Our significant problems are the fruits of our own paradigms, the “lens” we wear and the “maps” we use Our problems can only be solved by paradigm shifts. A correct paradigm is Principle. Centered, Character-based, Inside-out Paradigm shift takes a continuing renewal process What’s missing l A actionable process to guide us in making the paradigm shift
Next Session 2 The Overview of The 7 Habits
- Slides: 28