- Slides: 21
Teens and Parents
My Declaration of Independence • What does independence mean? • How do you gain or lose independence? • The basic reasons for struggles related to independence with teens and parents are: – Freedom – Control – Power
My Declaration of Independence • What is the relationship of independence between individuals and families? • How is independence tied to responsibility? • Independence does not mean that we don’t need others.
My Declaration of Independence • Independence = Freedom, Control, Power • If independence is freedom, what are you free from? Free to do? • If independence is control, what do you have control of? • If independence is power, what kind of power? What or whom do you have power over?
My Declaration of Independence • Complete the “My Declaration of Independence” worksheet. • Discuss your answers with the class.
Freedom and Responsibility • What do the following sentences mean to you? – John ran away from home because he wanted more freedom. – After serving 15 years in prison, the prisoner was given his freedom. – We went to rent a movie and got one for free. – Israel is fighting for its freedom.
Freedom and Responsibility – Who was responsible for getting flowers for the secretaries? – Susie is known as being responsible. – I will be responsible for bringing the refreshments. – If anything happens to Mrs. Jones car, I will hold you responsible!
Freedom and Responsibility • These are great examples of how freedom and responsibility can be used. • Most teens view freedom as being free from the restrictions of parents. • The images that this brings is being free from any restrictions and rules. • This type of belief is unrealistic.
Freedom and Responsibility • “Freedom to…” is a much better concept: – Freedom to act – Freedom to make your own choices – Freedom to be yourself • In this case, freedom and responsibility go hand-in-hand. • The playwright, George Bernard Shaw once said, “Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it!”
Freedom and Responsibility • Define Freedom: – The power to gain responsibility over one’s own life. • Increased freedom brings increased responsibility. • Increased responsibility brings increased freedom.
Multiple Roles of Parents • • • Sons/Daughters Brothers/Sisters Wives/Husbands Nurses Taxi drivers Gardener Seamstress Accountant Community Volunteers Nurturer • • • Disciplinarian Teachers Housekeepers Care Providers Tutors Counselors Motivational Speaker Cook Laundry Person Career Advisor
Multiple Roles of Parents • Define Role: – A function or position inherited, acquired, delegated, or assumed by someone. • What are some difficulties presented by each role? • How do parents tackle the difficult times?
Multiple Roles of Parents • What’s hard about being a parent? • What’s hard about being an adult child of an older parent? • What’s hard about being the parent of a teenager? • How do the roles change? • Parents were once teenagers too. You many be the parent of a teenager someday!
Stress Reliever or Stress Giver? • What problems could you have caused during the following scenarios: – Family Picture – Empty Cupboard – Not Enough Money – Driver’s License – Shop-a-Holic – Senior Family Member – Cluttered House – Household Tasks – Special Occasions
Stress Reliever or Stress Giver? • What could you do to relieve the stress during the following scenarios: – Family Picture – Empty Cupboard – Not Enough Money – Driver’s License – Shop-a-Holic – Senior Family Member – Cluttered House – Household Tasks – Special Occasions
Methods of Communication • Mature communication styles • Conflict resolution • Resolving conflict with integrity
Mature Communication Style • A childish answer can elicit a childish response: – If you yell and throw tantrums, others may yell and throw tantrums back. • The goal is to get two individuals on the adult level of communication. • If you want to be treated like an adult, then act like one…really!
Conflict Resolution • I need two volunteers that would be willing to act out a mother-daughter scenario. • How to win with parents tips: – Don’t bring up a problem when parents are busy. – When a favor is wanted, ask for it—don’t tell. – Stick to only one problem at a time. – Never say, “All my friends!”
Conflict Resolution – Always ask parents before making plans. – Do not be sarcastic. – Shouting is seldom convincing and only leads to accelerated confrontation. – It is hard to carry on a meaningful. conversation when composure is lost. – Inaccurate accusations never help.
Resolving Conflict with Integrity • Family members should be able to have differences of opinions and ideas without the conflict. • Let’s play Family Feud! I need: – Two “families” of 4 -6 students each – Scorekeeper – The remainder will be the audience
Summary • Teenagers will always struggle to find their independence. Just remember, increased freedom = increased responsibility. • Parents have many roles to fulfill. Make sure you are part of the solution and not the problem. • Choose effective methods of communication with your parents. • Homework: “How Well Do You Know Your Parents? ” Due next class period.