Technology Pornography Sanctification John W Auxier Ph D

Technology, Pornography & Sanctification John W. Auxier, Ph. D. Dean and Acting President Trinity Western Seminary Trinity Western University 1

Why we need this sermon This is not a theoretical problem… 2

Children's Exposure to Pornography u Average of first Internet exposure to pornography: 11 years old u 15 -17 year olds having multiple hardcore exposures: 80% u 7 -17 year olds who would freely give out home address: 29% 3

Adult Internet Porn Statistics u Men admitting to accessing pornography at work 20% u US adults who regularly visit Internet pornography websites 40 million u Breakdown of male/female visitors to pornography sites 72% male - 28% female 4

What we will cover today u The scope of the problem. u What is Sanctification? u What is Technology and how does it help or hinder sanctification? u What is an addiction? u What is pornography addiction? u Setting wise protections and finding healing from pornography. 5

What is Sanctification? God’s calling on your life is to be transformed by the Word of God through the power of the Holy Spirit, into the image of God revealed in Jesus Christ. u u “speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ…” Eph. 4: 15 “He predestined [us] to be conformed to the image of His Son” Romans 8: 29 6

What does sanctification look like? God’s Image is seen in the Fruit of the Spirit of God: “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh…the fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control” 7

What is Technology? u For this message, technology mainly refers to all devices with internet connectivity (computers, phones, blackberrys, tablets, Wii, X-Box, etc), and cable/satallite TV (which is rapidly converting to internet connectivity also). 8

Four comments about Technology u Technology has powerful creative potential, for both Good or Bad ends. u We live in an individualistic culture that provides options, but not wisdom. u Naïve or wrong use of the internet can create spiritual bondage, and block the process of sanctification. 9

Sanctification and Technology u Technology can be used to Glorify God and love our neighbor: to create poetry or beautiful graphic designs, to bless someone with a kind word in email, and to study the Bible. OR u Technology can hinder Sanctification: be used to create pornography, spread lies, steal our time, money and affections, lead us into warped priorities and isolate us from God and our Family. 10

Which is the Internet for You? u. A resource for Growing in Grace, or u. A stumbling block to Christian maturity? 11

What is an Addiction? What’s an Addiction? Let’s just say, It’s an unhealthy attachment to something that is: a. Positively reinforcing b. Gradually Dominates us c. Continues despite negative consequences and attempts to stop 12

Why are addictions so powerful? 1. We were created for deep attachment. – 2. The imago Dei…Genesis 1: 27 and the social nature of the Trinity. We were designed by God to have harmony with 1. Himself, 2. our Self, 3. Others, 4. the Creation (including our bodies and environment). – Each of these life areas is affected by an addiction. 13

Why are addictions powerful? The Fall (Gen. 3) corrupted our desires and capacity for harmony with God’s plan. The Fall’s effects are two fold: 1) We are both willful sinners in rebellion, AND 3. 2)We are victims of sin, death and the devil. 14

Why are addictions so powerful? u We are Designed for deep attachment to God and other people. u An addiction is a harmful fake “attachment” to a substance or behavior, which displaces God. u All addictions promise a sense of connection, but actually they cut us off from God, ourselves and Others. 15

The Technology of the Internet and Promotion of Addiction u Immediacy of feedback u The “Triple A Engine” – Accessible – Affordable – Anonymous 16

Pornography Addiction u Very immediate—very reinforcing biologically. u A neurological “super-highway” is created, that takes time to weaken. Visual stimulus- Craving u Associative Learning: creates “triggers” for preoccupation. 17

Porn/Sexual Addiction = A Range of Behaviors: u Sexually acting out while: – Passively viewing photos – Watching Videos – Live video feeds – Interactive chatting – Interactive video or phone sexual behavior. – May lead to seeking prostitutes or affairs. – In extreme cases leads to losing sense of right and wrong, crossing boundaries and illegal activities. 18

The Shame Cycle u A person feels shame (worthless), or anxious deep down inside. u In order to avoid this feeling he or she starts to fantasize. u After a build-up period (minutes/hours of preoccupation, they act out. u More shame, anxiety fantasizing begins again… 19

Getting Free: Get Honest with yourself How much time is going into my porn use? u How often is it happening? What’s it costing/risking? u How is it affecting important life areas? u – My work (stuff doesn’t get done) – My relationship with the Lord (God is distant) – My time with my children (am I preoccupied? ) – Can’t be intimate with my mate (sexual anorexia) 20

I have good news for you… u “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ” Romans 5: 8 u “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. ” I John 1: 9 21

More good news… u “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by Grace you have been saved —” Eph. 2: 4 -5 u “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. ” Eph. 2: 10 22

Getting Free Take an honest look, repent and confess. u Take concrete measures to reduce options for relapse, eg. Accountabilty software. u Use online resources like xxx. Church. u You cannot do it alone. Seek counselling from a pastor or professional. u People use porn to avoid negative emotions, so learning how to deal with feelings is critical in recovery. u 23

Attend Freedom Session, Living Waters or Celebrate Recovery discipleship programs. u When traveling, make a contract with your mentor/counsellor or spouse to maintain purity. u Marriage counselling is very helpful, as spouses are often deeply hurt. u Aspire to a transparent life without lies and secrets: Email, phone and financial transparency is key. u Move from a shame-based identity to a Christ based one. u 24

For Spouses… u Do not blame yourself—this is your mate’s problem, not yours. u However, it affects mates often with the same impact as an affair. u “What’s wrong with me? ” “Can I ever trust anything he says? ” is common. u There is a feeling of helplessness, mixed with anger and hurt. 25

Spouses continued… Get informed about the problem and how to deal with it—you are not alone. u Insist on transparency and no secrets in your relationship. u Do not compromise your own integrity by joining in—refuse and confront. u Seek marriage counselling and work it though. If he is not willing, get personal counselling for your own support. u Make sure all internet devices in your family are safe and accountable. 26 u

What can the Church do to help? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Talk about the problem openly, and help struggling couples (not just men) through support groups and Christian marriage counsellors. Establish policies to have accountability programs on all church computers. Encourage church families to be intentional in boundaries about the use of technology at home. Invest in library materials and annual conferences that emphasize healthy marital intimacy. Teach kids and single young adults about healthy, Godly sexual purity. 27

Benediction: Ephesians 3: 14 -19 14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Amen 28

In Closing… Thank you for inviting me to speak today. It’s great to be part of Johnson Heights Ev. Free Church! 29