Techniques Structure Punctuation see punctuation sheet Sentence length

Techniques

Structure • Punctuation – see punctuation sheet • Sentence length • Repetition

Repetition • Repeating a word, phrase, sentence or idea.

Repetition • Meantime the hellish tattoo of the heart increased. It grew quicker and quicker, and louder every instant. The old man's terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment! [. . . ] And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder!

Ideas Repetition Words • Meantime the hellish tattoo of the heart increased. It grew quicker and quicker, and louder every instant. The old man's terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment! [. . . ] And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder!

What word is repeated and why? • In “In the Snack-bar” by Edwin Morgan, the speaker is in a cafe and helps an old man who is blind and cannot walk unaided: • “And slowly we go down. [. . . ] And slowly we go up. ”

What word is repeated and why? • “And slowly we go down. [. . . ] And slowly we go up. ” • By repeating this phrase, the poet is emphasising how slowly the old man moves. • This triggers sympathy for the old man as it invites the reader to reflect on how tedious and time-consuming such a simple task is for this old man.

Sentence length - short • Create excitement or tension – Short sentences reflect how we speak when we are excited / scared • Complement the age of the speaker – A young child would use simple sentences • Emphasise an idea – The abruptness draws our attention as we are used to longer sentences

Create excitement or tension • It’s time for the drawing. [. . . ] She reaches in, digs her hand deep into the ball, and pulls out a slip of paper. The crowd draws in a collective breath and then you can hear a pin drop, and I’m feeling nauseous and so desperately hoping that it’s not me, that it’s not me. Effie Trinket crosses back to the podium, smoothes the slip of paper, and reads out the name in a clear voice. And it’s not me. It’s Primrose Everdeen. • ‘The Hunger Games’ – Suzanne Collins

Complement the age of the speaker • “A window opened with a long pole. The laugh of a bell swung by a running child. This was better than home. Enthralling books. The classroom glowed like a sweetshop. Sugar paper. Coloured shapes. ” • ‘In Mrs Tilscher’s Class’ – Carol Ann Duffy

Emphasise an idea • “The old man was dead. I removed the bed and examined the corpse. Yes, he was stone, stone dead. I placed my hand upon the heart and held it there many minutes. There was no pulsation. He was stone dead. ” • ‘The Tell Tale Heart’ – Edgar Allan Poe

Sentence length - long • Represent the length of something, e. g. a journey, queue, etc. – The length mirrors the length of the journey, for example • Complement the age of the speaker – Adults tend to use longer, more complicated sentences • Emphasise meandering thoughts – Long, convoluted sentences are harder to read, and can be used to reflect muddled thoughts

Represent the length of something • “Three frogs hopped in the playground, freed by a dunce, followed by a line of kids, jumping and croaking away from the lunch queue. ”

Complement the age of the speaker • “I used to analyze myself down to the last thread, used to compare myself with others, recalled all the smallest glances, smiles and words of those to whom I’d tried to be frank, interpreted everything in a bad light, laughed viciously at my attempts ‘to be like the rest’ –and suddenly, in the midst of my laughing, I’d give way to sadness, fall into ludicrous despondency and once again start the whole process all over again – in short, I went round and round like a squirrel on a wheel. ” • ‘Crime and Punishment’ - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Emphasise meandering thoughts • “They left me alone and I lay in bed and read the papers awhile, the news from the front, and the list of dead officers with their decorations and then reached down and brought up the bottle of Cinzano and held it straight up on my stomach, the cool glass against my stomach, and took little drinks making rings on my stomach from holding the bottle there between drinks, and watched it get dark outside over the roofs of the town. ” • ‘A Farewell to Arms’ – Ernest Hemmingway

Senses • • • Sight Sound Smell Taste Touch

Sight • "But wait. My eyes are almost burned by what I see. There’s a bowl in front of me that wasn’t there before. A brown button bowl and in it some apricots, some small oranges, some nuts, cherries, a banana. The fruits, the colours, mesmerise me in a quiet rapture that spins through my head. I am entranced by colour. I lift an orange into the flat filthy palm of my hand feel and smell and lick it. The colour orange, the colour, my God the colour orange. Before me is a feast of colour. I feel myself begin to dance, slowly. I am intoxicated by colour. I feel the colour in a quiet somnambulist rage. Such wonder, such absolute wonder in such an insignificant fruit. “ • ‘An Evil Cradling’ – Brian Keenan

Taste • “You probably need to eat something, ” the baker said. “I hope you’ll eat some of my hot rolls. You have to eat and keep going. Eating is a small, good thing in a time like this, ” he said. He served them warm cinnamon rolls just out of the oven, the icing still runny. He put butter on the table and knives to spread the butter. Then the baker sat down at the table with them. He waited until they each took a roll from the platter and began to eat. • ‘A Small Good Thing’ – Raymond Carver

Senses? “A few yards of floor are like a landscape to be negotiated, in the slow setting out time has almost stopped. I concentrate my life to his: crunch of spilt sugar, slidy puddle from the night’s umbrellas, table edges, people’s feet, hiss of the coffee-machine, voices and laughter, smell of a cigar, hamburgers, wet coats steaming, and the slow dangerous inches to the stairs. ” ‘In the Snack Bar’ – Edwin Morgan

sight “A few yards of floor are like a landscape sound to be negotiated, in the slow setting out time has almost stopped. I concentrate my life to his: crunch of spilt sugar, touch slidy puddle from the night’s umbrellas, table edges, people’s feet, sound hiss of the coffee-machine, voices and laughter, smell of a cigar, hamburgers, wet coats steaming, and the slow dangerous inches to the stairs. ” ‘In the Snack Bar’ – Edwin Morgan smell

Imagery • Imagery is language that is not meant to be taken literally.

Simile • A comparison that uses ‘as’ or ‘like’ Metaphor • A comparison that does not use ‘as’ or ‘like’ Personification • A specific kind of metaphor where something that is not human is given human qualities

Simile • “And they grabbed him in the kitchen and pulled him down the stairs - three flights his head was bouncin' like a coconut. ” • ‘A View from the Bridge’ – Arthur Miller

True or false • This is a simile: • He ate like he hadn't seen food in a week.

True or false • This is a simile: • He ate like he hadn't seen food in a week.

True or false • This is a simile: • The harvest moon is a great pumpkin in the sky.

Similes and metaphors work by comparing two things: something you don’t know (a) to something you do know (b) • You know what the first thing looks like (you can picture it in your head). • By comparing it to something else, you can help the reader picture it too.

Similes and metaphors work by comparing two things: • Something you don’t know • Her hair was like. . . Something you do know

Her air was like. . . • Cooked spaghetti • A bundle of straw • Tangled cream wool or • Rats tails • A river of melted chocolate • Shimmering crimson silk

Positive or negative connotations? • • A) A bundle of straw B) Rats tails C) A river of melted chocolate D) Shimmering crimson silk • When you create similes or metaphors, try to pick comparisons that complement your story.

Which image would you pick. . . • For a horror story • For a romance story

Similes Your turn She burst into the room like. . . The branches stretched upwards like. . . His eyes were like. . .

Metaphor • "He was eager to help but his legs were rubber . . . “ • ‘The Long Goodbye’ – Raymond Chandler

Multiple choice • Which of these is a metaphor? • A) A blanket of snow covered the streets. • B) Her voice was as cold as ice. • C) The snow was like a dusting of icing sugar on the trees.

Multiple choice • Which of these is a metaphor? • A) The was like an ice-cold shower. • B) The thunder boomed. • C) My memory is a little cloudy about that incident.

Multiple choice • Which of these is a metaphor? • A) She felt trapped like an animal in a cage. • B) The door was securely locked. • C) Her home was a prison.

Metaphor Your turn Her eyes were. . . The moon is a. . . When he ran he was a. . .

Personification • “Hadn't she known that something good was going to happen to her that morning--hadn't she felt it in every touch of the sunshine, as its golden finger-tips pressed her lids open and wound their way through her hair? ” • “The Mother's Recompense” - Edith Wharton

True or false? • This is personification: • My computer throws a fit every time I try to use it.

True or false? • This is personification: • The cat purred like a car engine.

True or false? • This is personification: • The leaves danced nervously as the storm approached.

Personification Your turn What human quality might windows have? What human quality might a car have?