Tactical Leadership Tanesha Parker October 10 th 2010

Tactical Leadership Tanesha Parker October 10 th, 2010

Table of Contents • • • Interview w/ Brian Oosterman Brian’s VABEs Response Model Analysis Strategies for Influence Tanesha’s Self Assessment Tanesha’s VABEs Life’s Dream Personal Mission Statement Insights from the Course

Interview w/ Brian Oosterman • • • Darden Class of 2010 Member of my learning team Married with a 1 year old son Pre-MBA: Navy Post-MBA: Investment Banking w/ Bank of America

Brian’s VABEs • Family first • Values linear career progression • Successes should be rewarded (awards and compensation) • Inner will is necessary to overcome challenges • It is important to be striving towards achievement at all times • Surround yourself with people who have the traits you want to develop

Response Model Analysis Response Model 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 es nc si Co nt in ua lo is c D Se lf- n/ io ct fle Re ng y th pa Em up a cc eo Pr Q ue st tio io n n 0 • Recognized that I have a tendency to lean on questioning as my primary response method • I tend to be more directive in my communication style • This could potentially put the speaker on the defensive • Tends to shift the conversation back towards me • Weakens my ability to influence the other person

Strategies for Influence • Utilizing active listening; less questioning and more empathetic/reflective responses • Find common ground by understanding his VABEs • Use E-Prime language ▫ Change my “buts” to “ands” ▫ Be descriptive and not judgmental ▫ Seek to understand before seeking to be understood • Know my own VABEs and be cognizant of how they impact my perspective

Tanesha’s VABEs Keep Lose Acquire • Authenticity; I feel its • Yelling is the best way to be • It’s a valuable use of my better to be open and heard in conflict situations time to actively listen to my honest about who you • I’m personally responsible friends and colleagues really are (good and bad) for the choices and • People are inherently good rather than pretending or mistakes my children make self-deceiving. • If I believe it to be true, • You should finish what you then there is no other start possible option for myself • It is important to or others personally accept responsibility for your actions • Individuals define their own truth

Tanesha’s Self Assessment 100% Inside Out 50% Outside In 0%

Personal Mission Statement My desire is to live a life that illuminates a path by which other women can follow to conquer the K 2’s in their own personal and professional lives.

Life’s Dream • LDext ▫ Faithful wife and mother who can tell her story as an example of success ▫ CEO or CFO of a major corporation or a division of a global organization ▫ Part-time vocalist, with at least one moderately successful album release (any profit would be success ) ▫ Author of at least one book and highly sought after public speaker • LDint ▫ Needed ▫ Loved ▫ Empowered ▫ Connected ▫ Free ▫ Peaceful

What do I want to say I still remember 5 year’s from now? • Actively listening is an important tool for being an influential leader • It is important to consider the level of buy-in you achieve from others by looking beyond their L 1 behavior • Never stop identifying the VABEs I want to keep, lose, and acquire in life