Structure of recounts Lesson objectives O Students aware

Structure of recounts

Lesson objectives O Students aware of structure of recount and can apply this knowledge O Students have detailed knowledge of body and reorientation elements of recounts O Understand important of sentence lengths and punctuation to creating emphasis

Recap from last lesson Orientation – provides background information O Who O What O Where O When O How O Key themes/events introduced or alluded to Body – series of events Conclusion/reorientation

Body Paragraphs can be written for different: O Purposes – to inform, persuade or entertain the reader O Audiences – some paragraphs may be targeted to: O younger age O specific intelligence O specialist level given language O Stylistic effect – using techniques O Sentence lengths O Descriptive language O 5 senses O Similes and metaphors O Perspectives – show multiple sides to the many events – think ‘good’ vs ‘bad’ side of your brain

Body – Snowball sequencing task O You have 4 minutes to write an orientation to a recount on the piece of paper O Once completed your orientation scrunch up the piece of paper O On go everyone throws their piece of paper to the front of the room O Go collect a piece of paper and make sure you do not have your own still – if you do please swap with someone

Body – Snowball sequencing task O Read the orientation and respond to this by writing the first body paragraph O Decide what the purpose of your paragraph is. Are you using the paragraph to: O Inform O Entertain O Persuade O You have 5 minutes to write your paragraph O Once you finished scrunch up your piece of paper O On go everyone throws their piece of paper to the opposite end to the room to them O Go collect a piece of paper and make sure you do not have your own still – if you do please swap with someone

Body – Snowball sequencing task O Read the orientation and first paragraph and O O O respond to this by writing the second body paragraph In this paragraph your target audience should become clear You have 5 minutes to write your paragraph Once you finished scrunch up your piece of paper On go everyone throws their piece of paper to the front of the room Go collect a piece of paper and make sure you do not have your own still – if you do please swap with someone

Body – Snowball sequencing task O Read the paragraphs and respond to this by writing the final body paragraph O Concentrate on stylistic effect in this paragraph using literary techniques. Ideas include: O O O O 5 senses Similes and metaphors Personification Repetition Alliteration Rhetorical questions Onomatopoeia and sound effects O You have 6 minutes to write your final body paragraph O Once you finished scrunch up your piece of paper O On go everyone throws their piece of paper to the opposite end of the room O Go collect a piece of paper and make sure you do not have your own still – if you do please swap with someone

Reorientation O Rounds off the sequence of events O May take the form of: O a summary statement O Evaluative comment O Return to starting point – ‘bookend’ O Personal opinion/judgement of topic O Anecdote O Lesson learnt

Reorientation in Moulin Rouge O https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=98 EXK 3 FNGl 8 (5 mins) O What technique is used? O a summary statement O Evaluative comment O Return to starting point – ‘bookend’ O Personal opinion/judgement of topic O Anecdote O Lesson learnt O How is it effective?

Reorientation in 21 O https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=Ps. K 1 c 9 ZBpuw (3 mins Trailer) O https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=Nquq. Tg-mes 8 (5 mins Reorientation) Write on your postcards O What technique is used? O O O a summary statement Evaluative comment Return to starting point – ‘bookend’ Personal opinion/judgement of topic Anecdote Lesson learnt O How is it effective?

Reorientation of snowball sequencing task O Read the full snowball recount and write a conclusion/reorientation O Remember to use either: O A summary statement O Evaluative comment O Return to starting point O Personal opinion/judgement of topic O Anecdote O Lesson learnt

O Hand up your snowball task

Changing sentence lengths to enhance emotions/genres O There is a time and place for both short, powerful sentences and more complicated and complex sentences O Too many short, choppy sentences creates a jarring effect for the reader, especially when each sentence has the same construction O Sentence length influences the mood of the piece of writing O If you are trying to show a moment of reflection, a long, leisurely sentence captures that sense of nostalgia O If your character is in mortal danger, shorter sentences punctate sense of urgency O Long sentences suit romance or drama genres O Short sentences suit thriller, suspense or action genres

Short and simple sentences O Short and simple sentences work best when the narrator is a child or show tension/instability O In To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee at the beginning of the novel, the narrator is a six-yearold girl. Lee uses short and simple sentences that gradually become more sophisticated and mature, reflecting the girl’s own growing maturity throughout the book. O The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan effectively uses short, powerful sentences to create an impact O That night I sat on Tyan-yu’s bed and waited for him to touch me. But he didn’t. I was relieved. O The paragraph gets the point across powerfully and concisely and without filler.

Long sentences O Long sentences are associated with “old- fashioned” or high intelligence writers O Long sentences are used to investigate an idea more thoroughly, give vivid description and develop tension

Changing sentence lengths O For sentence combining (too many short sentences) O Last weekend I saw a science fiction film. Three friends went with me. The film focused on the experiments of a mad doctor. He altered his patients' lives by manipulating their dreams. O In the sample paragraph above the short sentences, all having the same noun-verb-object pattern, create a choppy effect. Here are the sentences "combined" into one, more economical sentence: O Last weekend three friends and I saw a science fiction film in which a mad doctor altered his patients' lives by manipulating their dreams.

Changing sentence lengths O For subordination O short sentences where it is difficult to understand the connection between them O Use connective words to make one clause in sentence dependent – or subordinate – thus showing the relationship between them O I kicked the chair. My foot hurt terribly. O By using different subordinating conjunctions, the sentences take on different meanings. O After I kicked the chair, my foot hurt terribly. O I kicked the chair because my foot hurt terribly.

Changing sentence lengths Fix long, wordy sentences by O Avoid using passive verbs such as is, was, were, are, has, had etc O Avoid using too many prepositional phrases e. g. “the house of my mother” rather than “my mother’s house”

Changing sentence lengths Example: O The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to find some native American art. In Anchorage stores they found some excellent examples of soapstone carvings. But they couldn't find a dealer selling any of the woven wall hangings they wanted. They were very disappointed when they left Anchorage empty-handed. Revision: O The Winslow family visited Canada and Alaska last summer to find some native American art, such as soapstone carvings and wall hangings. Anchorage stores had many soapstone items available. Still, they were disappointed to learn that wall hangings, which they had especially wanted, were difficult to find. Sadly, they left empty-handed.

Changing sentence lengths Example: O Many really good blues guitarists have all had the last name King. They have been named Freddie King and Albert King and B. B. King. The name King must make a bluesman a really good bluesman. The bluesmen named King have all been very talented and good guitar players. The claim that a name can make a guitarist good may not be that far-fetched. Revision: O What makes a good bluesman? Maybe, just maybe, it's all in a stately name. B. B. King. Freddie King. Albert King. It's no coincidence that they're the royalty of their genre. When their fingers dance like court jesters, their guitars gleam like scepters, and their voices bellow like regal trumpets, they seem almost like nobility. Hearing their music is like walking into the throne room. They really are kings.

Changing sentence lengths task O Read the paragraphs and change the sentence lengths of the paragraphs to change the emphasis O Harry Potter passage - change pace to less urgent, more descriptive O To Kill a Mockingbird passage – change language to be less childish, more logical O Jane Eyre passage – change language to less descriptive language, more succinct

Creating emphasis through clause position O The initial and terminal positions of sentences are inherently more emphatic than the middle segment. Likewise, the main clause of a complex sentence receives more emphasis than subordinate clauses. O Therefore, you should put words that you wish to emphasize near the beginnings and endings of sentences and should never bury important elements in subordinate clauses. Consider the following example. O No one can deny that the computer has had a great effect upon the business world. O Undeniably, the effect of the computer upon the business world has been great. O In the first version of this sentence, "No one can deny" and "on the business world" are in the most emphasized positions. In addition, the writer has embedded the most important ideas in a subordinate clause: "that the computer has had a great effect. " O The edited version places the most important ideas in the main clause and in the initial and terminal slots of the sentence, creating a more engaging prose style

Creating emphasis through punctuation O Some punctuation marks prompt the reader to give a word or sentence more than usual emphasis. For example, a command with a period does not evoke the same emphatic response as the same command with an exclamation mark. O Watch out! O A dash or colon has more emphatic force than a comma. O The employees were surprised by the decision, which was not to change company policy. O The employees were surprised by the decision—no change in company policy. O The employees were surprised by the decision: no change in company policy.

Changing sentence starters The biggest coincidence that day happened when David and I ended up sitting next to each other at the Super Bowl. Possible Revisions: O Coincidentally, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl. O In an amazing coincidence, David and I ended up sitting next to each other at the Super Bowl. O Sitting next to David at the Super Bowl was a tremendous coincidence. O When I sat down at the Super Bowl, I realized that, by sheer coincidence, I was directly next to David. O By sheer coincidence, I ended up sitting directly next to David at the Super Bowl. O With over 50, 000 fans at the Super Bowl, it took an incredible coincidence for me to end up sitting right next to David. O What are the odds that I would have ended up sitting right next to David at the Super Bowl? O David and I, without any prior planning, ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl. O Without any prior planning, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl. O At the crowded Super Bowl, packed with 50, 000 screaming fans, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other by sheer coincidence. O Though I hadn't made any advance arrangements with David, we ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl. O Many amazing coincidences occurred that day, but nothing topped sitting right next to David at the Super Bowl. O Unbelievable, I know, but David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl. O Guided by some bizarre coincidence, David and I ended up sitting right next to each other at the Super Bowl.

Before you go Remember: O Transformers task due this Friday! (That’s next lesson) O If you do not hand up this task on Friday it will impact your report! O People who have not presented Public Speaking by Friday, this will also impact your report Please hand up your: O Postcards with your name on them