Strange Situation 3 14 Avoidant Attachment 3 mins

Strange Situation 3. 14 Avoidant Attachment 3 mins

Baby Brain Week 3

Biological Perspectives • The Baby’s Young Brain

• There is a myriad of merchandise out there, all designed to connect with our babies, magnify their intelligence, and help children negotiate the world

Social Upbringing Themes Fostering baby's independence Refraining from spoiling Encouraging acceptable behaviour /sleep patterns. Focus on easing the burden on parents particularly mothers, who often feel overwhelmed at the arrival of a new baby or the challenges of a toddler

Plenty to Say A vast library of advice to go along with the merchandise. Grandparents, paediatricians, friends, and day care providers, have plenty to say on the subject of parenting

Right and Wrong • Even for parents drawn to child-centered, attachment-focused childrearing, difficulties arise that cause confusion and questioning, leaving us to wonder if we're doing the right thing. • How can you sort it all out? Are there rights and wrongs?

Parenting Options In our society, attachment parenting is seen as just another of an array of parenting options, and is typically viewed as the most difficult and least appealing choice

-3 mths to 2 yrs old • From late pregnancy through the second year of life, the human brain experiences • Accelerated growth in life span • Uses most amounts of energy in the lifespan • Sufficient nutrients • Optimal interpersonal experiences for maximal maturation.

Baby’s Brain • The human cerebral cortex adds 70 percent of its mass after birth and grows to 90% of its adult size in the first three years of life. • Expanding brain is influenced by its environment, creating an interplay between biology and social environment. • Mounting evidence that stress and trauma impair optimal brain development while healthy attachment promotes it

Higher & Lower Brain Levels • Cerebral Cortex Largest brain structure child’s personality, thinking, motor skills, reasoning, and sensory input. • Lower Working Levels Occipital Lobe: Visual system, visual information, sight (letters, shapes, sizes, numbers) Temporal Lobe: Speech, auditory processing, hearing, behaviour, emotions, shortterm and long-term memory (fear, fight or flight, recalling facts and details) Parietal Lobe: Senses, sensory integration, sensory input (taste, temperature, smell, touch) • Higher Working Levels Frontal Lobe (prefrontal cortex): Highest levels of learning and activity used for problem solving, reasoning, motor skills, organizing, abstract thinking, analyzing, expressive language (telling stories, organizing thoughts on paper, starts and completes tasks, retains information, choices between right and wrong, social skills)

Brain Hierarchy

Cerebral Cortex • Regulates higher functions like our interactions and our emotional response to the external world • Child’s lower levels of the brain are not working properly, the higher emotional functions of the cerebral cortex will not work • Child’s ability to regulate their emotions and emotional responses to think both rationally and logically can be compromised.

Limbic System • The limbic system is the neurological seat of emotions; the hippocampus and Amygdala are closely tied to memory and the regulation of emotions, including aggression • Discuss

Limbic System and Brain Stem • The brain stem and the limbic system focus internally on survival, emotional and immediate bonding needs. • Lower motor functions if not developed the baby cannot function properly at higher emotional levels causing emotional immaturity • Freezing in certain situations and initiates fight or flight responses or fear

Erikson 8 Psychosocial Stages of Attachment

Erikson • Personality develops in a predetermined order, and builds upon each previous stage • However, instead of focusing on sexual development like Freud, he was interested in how children socialize and how this affects their sense of self

Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages • Eight distinct stages, taking in five stages up to the age of 18 years and three further stages beyond, well into adulthood. Erikson puts a great deal of emphasis on the adolescent period, feeling it was a crucial stage for developing a person’s identity. • According to theory, successful completion of each stage results in a healthy personality and the acquisition of basic virtues. • Failure to successfully complete a stage can result in a reduced ability to complete further stages and therefore a more unhealthy personality and sense of self. These stages, however, can be resolved successfully at a later time.

Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages

1. Trust vs. Mistrust 0 -18 mths • During this stage, the infant is uncertain about the world in which they live. To resolve these feelings of uncertainty, the infant looks towards their primary caregiver for stability and consistency of care. • If the care the infant receives is consistent, predictable and reliable, they will develop a sense of trust which will carry with them to other relationships, and they will be able to feel secure even when threatened. • Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of hope. Failing to acquire the virtue of hope will lead to the development of fear. • Avoidant Attachment 3 mins

2. Autonomy vs. Shame Doubt 18 mths -3 yrs old • The child is developing physically and becoming more mobile. children begin to assert their independence: putting on clothes and shoes, playing with toys, etc. • Erikson states it is critical that parents allow their children to explore the limits of their abilities within an encouraging environment which is tolerant of failure. • The aim has to be “self control without a loss of self-esteem” Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of will. Lack of success feel inadequate in their ability to survive, and may then become overly dependent upon others, lack self esteem, and feel a sense of shame or doubt in their abilities.

3. Initiative vs. Guilt 3 -5 years old • The child regularly interacting with other children at school. Play provides children with the opportunity to explore their interpersonal skills through initiating activities. If given this opportunity, children develop a sense of initiative and feel secure in their ability to lead others and make decisions. • If squashed, either through criticism or control, children develop a sense of guilt. They may feel like a nuisance to others and will, therefore, remain followers, lacking in self-initiative. • Too much guilt can make the child slow to interact with others and may inhibit their creativity. Some guilt is, of course, necessary; otherwise the child would not know how to exercise self control or have a conscience. • A healthy balance between initiative and guilt is important. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of purpose.

4. Competence vs. Inferiority 5 -12 yrs old • Children are at the stage where they will be learning to read and write, to do sums, to do things on their own. Teachers begin to take an important role in the child’s life as they teach the child specific skills. • Child’s peer group will gain greater significance and will become a major source of the child’s self-esteem. • If children are encouraged and reinforced for their initiative, they begin to feel competent and feel confident in their ability to achieve goals. If this is restricted by parents or teacher, then the child begins to feel inferior, doubting his own abilities and therefore may not reach his or her potential. • If the child cannot develop the specific skill they feel society is demanding then they may develop a sense of inferiority. Some failure may be necessary so that the child can develop some modesty. Again, a balance between competence and modesty is necessary. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of competence.

5. Identity vs. Role Confusion 12 -18 yrs old • Adolescents search for a sense of self and personal identity, through an intense exploration of personal values, beliefs and goals. Looking at the future in terms of career, relationships, families, housing, etc. The individual wants to belong to a society and fit in. • Two identities are involved: the sexual and the occupational. Erikson claims that the adolescent may feel uncomfortable about their body for a while until they can adapt and “grow into” the changes. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of fidelity. • Fidelity involves being able to commit one's self to others on the basis of accepting others, even when there may be ideological differences. • Role confusion involves the individual not being sure about themselves or their place in society. In an identity crisis an adolescent may begin to experiment with different lifestyles (e. g. work, education or political activities). Also pressuring someone into an identity can result in rebellion in the form of establishing a negative identity, and in addition to this feeling of unhappiness.

6. Intimacy vs. Isolation 18 -40 yrs • Occurring in young adulthood (ages 18 to 40 yrs), we begin to share ourselves more intimately with others. We explore relationships leading toward longer-term commitments with someone other than a family member. • Successful completion of this stage can result in happy relationships and a sense of commitment, safety, and care within a relationship. Avoiding intimacy, fearing commitment and relationships can lead to isolation, loneliness, and sometimes depression. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of love.

7. Generativity vs. Stagnation 40 -65 yrs old • During middle adulthood we establish our careers, settle down within a relationship, begin our own families and develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture. • We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming involved in the community and organizations. • By failing to achieve these objectives, we become stagnant and feel unproductive. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of care.

8. Ego Integrity vs. Despair Over 65 yrs old • As we grow older and become senior citizens, we tend to slow down our productivity and explore life as a retired person. It is during this time that we contemplate our accomplishments and can develop integrity if we see ourselves as leading a successful life. • Erikson believed if we see our lives as unproductive, feel guilt about our past, or feel that we did not accomplish our life goals, we become dissatisfied with life and develop despair, often leading to depression and hopelessness. • Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of wisdom. Wisdom enables a person to look back on their life with a sense of closure and completeness, and also accept death without fear.

Critical Evaluation • Erikson’s theory has good face validity. Many people find that they can relate to his theories about various stages of the life cycle through their own experiences. • However, Erikson is rather vague about the causes of development. What kinds of experiences must people have to successfully resolve various psychosocial conflicts and move from one stage to another? The theory does not have a universal mechanism for crisis resolution.

Biological Perspectives Part 2 • The Baby’s Young Brain

Under -developed Lower Brain Impact • Without Lower Brain Levels fully developing, they will need exercises to help their learning behaviour, attention and focus, and fidgeting in the classroom. • Notice delays in your child’s learning or side effects that can cause toe walking, W- sitting, bed wetting, poor balance and coordination, and trouble with motor planning • If your child struggles with any number of these issues, it could be an indication that the nervous system is underdeveloped.

Moro Reflex • When kids are in the fight or flight mode, they are reacting and responding on instinct and survival. Scary for the child and parents • If your child has retained the Moro reflex, you may see some of the following symptoms: • In the “fight or flight” mode; always on edge; heightened awareness Anxiety Exaggerated startle reaction Motion sickness Hyperactivity Poor impulse control Poor coordination leading to sequencing and memory issues Easily distracted Significant mood swings Difficulty ignoring background noise The Moro reflex may have developed in human evolution to help the infant cling to their mother • while she carried them around all day. If the infant lost their balance, the reflex caused the infant to embrace their mother and regain their hold on the mother’s body Moro Response 1 Moro Response 2 Moro Response Educational 4 mins

Babies Regulation • Despite being born with the capacity for feeling deep emotions, babies are unable to keep themselves in a state of equilibrium, lacking the skills to regulate either the intensity or the duration of those emotions. • Without the assistance and monitoring of a caregiver, babies become overwhelmed by their emotional states, including those of fear, excitement, and sadness. • In order to maintain emotional equilibrium, babies require a consistent and committed relationship with one caring person.

Attunement • The mother tunes to her baby's internal states and responds, which produces a response in the mother, which further fuels the system. • One is not independent of the other, and each has a profound effect on the next response. This dyad is the key to healthy development for the baby. • As Bowlby believed, the mother must achieve Attunement with her baby to create healthy attachment. Healthy attachment is simply the development of that attuned relationship.

Attunement • Attunement, in the simplest terms, means following baby's cues. Babies have their own spontaneous expressions of themselves. When you pay attention to these expressions you communicate that you understand what they are doing, feeling, and even thinking • This creates brain development and a foundation for the negotiation of all social interactions. When the mother-baby dyad is in attunement, both will experience positive emotions • If out of sync, the baby will show signs of stress, such as crying, that indicate the need for re-attunement • Attunement Attachment 2 mins Creating a Secure Infant Attachment 23 mins

Attunement • This adaptive pattern is largely unappreciated by our Western culture and is unfortunately and wrongly labelled "controlling, " "attentionseeking, " or "spoiling. “ • Three-year-olds need as much closeness to their mothers as one-year-olds

Non Attunement • To a baby, stress is anything that pulls it out of Attunement and into a negative emotional state. Fear, anxiety, and sadness create stress. Short, unwanted separations from the mother to the extreme of abuse New situations with no prior experience • Attunement of the mother-child pair in stressful situations creates the self-regulation that babies do not inherently possess. When babies are in balance, they are emotionally regulated, and rely on the relationship with their mother to maintain this • Example, if a mother sets her baby down to answer the phone and the baby begins to cry, the baby requires the mother's return and re-attunement in order to avoid becoming overwhelmed by sadness. Without this assistance, the crying intensifies and leads to a chain of internal reactions that put the baby in a survival mode. In a survival mode, the baby operates at the most primary level, forced to dedicate all resources to the basic functions necessary for existence, forfeiting opportunity for potential growth.

Non Attunement Begins a cycle of Hyperarousal and Dissociation that begins when the baby becomes distressed Discuss • The initial stage is one of hyperarousal - the "startle" reaction to a threat. Engages the sympathetic nervous system, which increases the heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration. Distress at this stage is usually expressed by crying, which will progress to screaming • The brain attempts to mediate this by increasing levels of major stress hormones adrenaline. Stress hormones are protective mechanisms intended to be used only for short periods of time, to assist the body in surviving a dangerous situation. Prolonged periods spent in this state are damaging. The science of neglect 6 mins Emotional Deprivation in Infancy 7 mins

Distressed States • When babies are in distress, their brains are at the mercy of these states. In the infant, states become traits, so the effects of such early relational traumas become part of the structure of the forming personality. • This is all occurring at a period of time when the brain is at its maximum vulnerability to influences and stimuli affecting growth and development. While this stress reaction is going on, the infant brain cannot develop in other ways, and thus forfeits potential opportunities for learning at the critical period of brain development.

Disassociation • The second reaction to stress is dissociation. • Child disengages from the external world's stimuli and retreats to an internal world. This reaction involves numbing, avoidance, compliance, and lack of reaction • This second stage occurs in the face of a stressful situation in which the baby feels hopeless and helpless. The infant tries to repair the disequilibrium and misattunement but cannot, and so disengages, becomes inhibited, and strives to avoid attention, to become "unseen. “

Disassociation • This metabolic shutting-down is a passive state in response to an unbearable situation, and is the opposite of hyperarousal. In biological and evolutionary terms, it is the same process that allows us to retreat from overwhelming situations to heal wounds and fill depleted resources. Devastating, and the effects of even short periods of dissociation are profound. In this state, pain-numbing endogenous opiates and behaviour-inhibiting stress hormones such as cortisol are elevated. Blood pressure decreases, as does the heart rate, despite the stillcirculating adrenaline Trauma and Disassociation in Children 2 mins

Attunement in Older Children • Contrary to popular cultural beliefs, close attachment to the mother remains crucially important to children through the toddler and early childhood years. • As with infants, this attachment is adaptive and serves to ensure the child's survival and socialization. While the needs shift, the attachment remains key. • As the child grows, he becomes more autonomous and self-reliant, but remains vulnerable to a wide range of dangers. Thus, attachment behaviours, such as seeking proximity to mother, evincing anxiety when mother moves away, and protesting separation are adaptive mechanisms, not regressive ones. Discuss

Adolescents • As children continue to age and develop, their needs evolve but their reliance on the attachment system endures • Even adolescence, often viewed as the pinnacle of developmental challenges, has its focus in attachment. Adolescents struggle with the tension between their connection to family and their formation of independence. • The foundation built in the early years is the groundwork for this phase of life; if the attachment is secure and established, child and parents can negotiate the events of adolescence with little struggle Discuss

Father • While attachment theory centres on a primary figure, typically the mother, as the bedrock of the child's health and wellbeing, this does not occur in a vacuum, nor to the exclusion of fathers and partners. • Initial role of fathers focuses on support of the mother in her attempt to care for their baby. But it does not stop there. As the baby gains in abilities, the father becomes more central, and his role often evolves into the safe launching point for the child's accelerated forays into the external world. In the implementation of attachment theory, the baby is connected to the mother and embraced by the support of many people who influence growth and development differently at each unique stage Discuss

Ups and Downs • At times we will be faced with times when we are out of sync, or in emotional dis-regulation, with our babies. The good news is that these periods of mis-attunement, as long as they are brief and not chronic, appear to be a positive thing. Because the baby is learning self-regulation, short periods of mis-attunement followed by re-attunement have the effect of teaching resilience. • The child attaches to the regulating mother, who helps maximize opportunity for positive emotions and minimize opportunity for negative emotions, thus creating optimal health

Attachment Styles

Secure attachment • (55 -65% in non-clinical populations) In the Strange Situation (SS), the infants used the mom as a secure base from which to explore. The infants noticed when mom left the room and protested. When mother returned, the infant went straight to the mother to be held, was easily reassured, and quickly returned to play. • In the home, these parents were emotionally available, perceptive, and responsive to infant’s needs and mental states. • The internal working model of these infants is likely to be one that expects that their needs will be known and met, that they will be attuned to and emotionally regulated, and that they can freely explore their environment in safety. •

Avoidant attachment • (20 -30% in low risk samples) In the SS infants did not use the mum much as a secure base from which to explore. When the mother began to leave the room, the infant might move toward her, but often did not. When the mother returned, the infant acted like she was not even there and just continued playing. • In the home, these parents were seen to be emotionally unavailable, imperceptive, unresponsive, and rejecting. Some were responsive in many non-emotional interactions, but were very dismissive and non-responsive when the infant was emotionally needy, frustrated, or angry. These infants often expressed random aggression, and were more clingy and demanding in the home then securely attached infants. • The internal working model is likely, “mom does not respond to my emotions, especially when I am needy or angry, so I will shut down my needs and try to become independent. ” The infants then protect themselves from this difficult situation by dissociating from contact with their normal need for connection, and repress their emotions more generally. This is a “deactivating” strategy with respect to attachment.

Ambivalent attachment • (5 -15% of low risk samples) Infants were more alert of the whereabouts of mother while playing. They were very upset when she left the room, immediately went to her upon return and got very clingy. Their behaviour upon reunion alternated between outbursts of anger and going limp, and in either case the infant was not soothed by the presence of the caregiver even if the mother was seen to be caring and emotionally available. • In these homes, the mother was inconsistently available for the infant, and when she was available she was often pre-occupied and un-attuned to the infant in her responses. These infants were the most anxious, clingy, and demanding at home. • The likely internal working model here is “even if mom is available physically, she will likely not be able to soothe me. ” These infants respond by “over-activating” their attachment system.

Disorganized attachment • (20 -40% in non-clinical populations? ? And up to 80% in situations of abuse. Infants who became disorganized in the SS when their mothers left the room, and also expressed disorganized patterns of behaviour on return (move towards mother, then away; freeze; go into a corner). They were not soothed if they made contact with the mother. • The homes of these infants often had physical or sexual abuse histories, psychologically disturbed parents, and/or parents with substance abuse. • Their inner working model of this relationship is not functional, and is one where the “supposed” source of soothing is also the source of danger — a situation of “fright without solution” — leaving their mind state and behaviour very disorganized.

Comparison • Western Concept of a Person • Attachment Styles

Western Concept of a person • 1900 s

Western Concept of a person • Post 1900 s

Salman Rushdie – Midnight’s Children “In the modern age we have come to understand our own selves as composites often contradictory, even internally incompatible. We understand that each of us is many different people. Our younger selves differ from our older selves; we can be bold in the company of lovers and timorous before our employers; principled when we instruct our children and corrupt when offered some secret temptation; we are serious and frivolous, loud and quiet, aggressive and easily abashed. The 19 th century concept of the integrated self has been replaced by the jostling of I’s and yet unless we are damaged or deranged we usually have a relatively clear sense of who we are. I agree with my many selves to call of them “me”.

Looking Ahead • What this means for parents raising children in today's world is sweeping. We need cultural changes - changes in expectation, in our view of parents, in our definitions of feminism and masculinity, in our economic systems and medical understandings. • In its broader applications, attachment theory requires us to rethink most of what our society has taught us. We must let go of old learning and erroneous information in order to re-attune to our own connective instincts. While this cannot be accomplished quickly, what we can do is apply this new knowledge to our own lives.

Ourselves • Perhaps the most difficult application of attachment theory lies in our own childhoods. Most of us were not raised within the attachment paradigm. We may worry about the choices we have made with our children, or the implications of our own childhoods on our current lives. • The brain is a flexible and complex organ that is always capable of new learning. The acceptance, belief, and practice of attachment parenting can be a healing experience for the parent while creating the best possible environment for the child.

Brain Biology Summary • Social Upbringing Themes Spoiling Independence Patterns • Brain Biology If Lower Working Levels not working Higher Working Levels will not work • Moro Reflex - measuring Baby’s stress reflex • Attunement mother connected and responsive to baby’s wants and needs Non Attunement • Distressed states • Disassociation Baby cannot cope with stress so withdraws • Older Children and Adolescents need attachment and attunement • Attachment Styles Looking Ahead Ourselves

• • • • • Adult Romantic Relationships Although Bowlby was primarily focused on understanding the nature of the infant-caregiver relationship, he believed that attachment characterized human experience from "the cradle to the grave. " It was not until the mid-1980's, however, that researchers began to take seriously the possibility that attachment processes may play out in adulthood. Hazan and Shaver (1987) were two of the first researchers to explore Bowlby's ideas in the context of romantic relationships. According to Hazan and Shaver, the emotional bond that develops between adult romantic partners is partly a function of the same motivational system--the attachment behavioral system--that gives rise to the emotional bond between infants and their caregivers. Hazan and Shaver noted that the relationship between infants and caregivers and the relationship between adult romantic partners share the following features: both feel safe when the other is nearby and responsive both engage in close, intimate, bodily contact both feel insecure when the other is inaccessible both share discoveries with one another both play with one another's facial features and exhibit a mutual fascination and preoccupation with one another both engage in "baby talk" On the basis of these parallels, Hazan and Shaver argued that adult romantic relationships, like infant-caregiver relationships, are attachments, and that romantic love is a property of the attachment behavioral system, as well as the motivational systems that give rise to caregiving and sexuality. Three Implications of Adult Attachment Theory The idea that romantic relationships may be attachment relationships had a profound influence on modern research on close relationships. There at least three critical implications of this idea. First, if adult romantic relationships are attachment relationships, then we should observe the same kinds of individual differences in adult relationships that Ainsworth observed in infant-caregiver relationships. We may expect some adults, for example, to be secure in their relationships--to feel confident that their partners will be there for them when needed, and open to depending on others and having others depend on them. We should expect other adults, in contrast, to be insecure in their relationships. For example, some insecure adults may be anxious-resistant: they worry that others may not love them completely, and be easily frustrated or angered when their attachment needs go unmet. Others may be avoidant: they may appear not to care too much about close relationships, and may prefer not to be too dependent upon other people or to have others be too dependent upon them. Second, if adult romantic relationships are attachment relationships, then the way adult relationships "work" should be similar to the way infant-caregiver relationships work. In other words, the same kinds of factors that facilitate exploration in children (i. e. , having a responsive caregiver) should facilitate exploration among adults (i. e. , having a responsive partner). The kinds of things that make an attachment figure "desirable" for infants (i. e. , responsiveness, availability) are the kinds of factors adults should find desirable in romantic partners. In short, individual differences in attachment should influence relational and personal functioning in adulthood in the same way they do in childhood. Third, whether an adult is secure or insecure in his or her adult relationships may be a partial reflection of his or her experiences with his or her primary caregivers. Bowlby believed that the mental representations or working models (i. e. , expectations, beliefs, "rules" or "scripts" for behaving and thinking) that a child holds regarding relationships are a function of his or her caregiving experiences. For example, a secure child tends to believe that others will be there for him or her because previous experiences have led him or her to this conclusion. Once a child has developed such expectations, he or she will tend to seek out relational experiences that are consistent with those expectations and perceive others in a way that is colored by those beliefs. According to Bowlby, this kind of process should promote continuity in attachment patterns over the life course, although it is possible that a person's attachment pattern will change if his or her relational experiences are inconsistent with his or her expectations. In short, if we assume that adult relationships are attachment relationships, it is possible that children who are secure as children will grow up to be secure in their romantic relationships. Or, relatedly, that people who are secure as adults in their relationships with their parents will be more likely to forge secure relationships with new partners. In the sections below I briefly address these three implications in light of early and contemporary research on adult attachment. Do We Observe the Same Kinds of Attachment Patterns Among Adults that We Observe Among Children? The earliest research on adult attachment involved studying the association between individual differences in adult attachment and the way people think about their relationships and their memories for what their relationships with their parents are like. Hazan and Shaver (1987) developed a simple questionnaire to measure these individual differences. (These individual differences are often referred to as attachment styles, attachment patterns, attachment orientations, or differences in the organization of the attachment system. ) In short, Hazan and Shaver asked research subjects to read the three paragraphs listed below, and indicate which paragraph best characterized the way they think, feel, and behave in close relationships: A. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. B. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me. C. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away. Based on this three-category measure, Hazan and Shaver found that the distribution of categories was similar to that observed in infancy. In other words, about 60% of adults classified

Criticisms of Attachment Theory • • • • Nature Versus Nurture: The Nurture Assumption One of the main critics of Bowlby's attachment theory is J. R. Harris. People assume that kind, honest, and respectful parents will have kind, honest, and respectful children and parents that are rude, liars, and disrespectful will have children that are the same way. This may not be the case according to Harris (1998) believes that parents do not shape their child's personality or character. A child's peers have more influence on them than their parents. For example, take children whose parents were immigrants. A child can continue to speak their parent's native language at home, but can also learn their new language and speak it without an accent, while the parents accent remains. Children learn these things from their peers because they want to fit in (Harris, 1998). Nature is the genetics that parents pass down to their child, and nurture is the way the parents bring the child up. It is a common belief in psychology that "nature gives parents a baby: the end result depends on how they nurture it. Good nurturing can make up for many of nature's mistakes: lack of nurturing can trash nature's best effort" (Harris, 1998, p. 2). Harris (1998) disagrees with this statement because she does not believe that nurture should be labeled as a synonym for environment, which it is in many psychology textbooks and papers. Using these two words interchangeably leads us to assume that what influences a child's development, along with genes, is parental up bringing. Harris calls this the nurture assumption. She disproves this assumption by showing that what children learn in the home may be irrelevant in the outside world. For example, identical twins separated at birth and brought up in separate homes are more likely to have the same habits, hobbies, and styles than identical twins raised in the same household. This shows the power of nature but not of nurture. If a child is brought up in a crime-ridden area, they will be susceptible to committing these same kinds of crimes. This is because of the high rate of peer pressure and the want to fit in to the group. Even if the parents try to bring up their children the best way possible, chances are that if they associate with delinquents, they will become one. But if you take a child headed down the wrong path and move him to new environment such as a small suburban town, chances are he will get himself on the right track, because he is trying to fit in with a new peer group (Harris, 1998). Most everyday people like to believe that their parents shape their character so that when something in their life goes wrong, they can blame it on their parents. Parents should not be to blame. Up until a couple hundred years ago, people lived in groups that extended far beyond the nuclear family. So children were influenced by a number of people, not just their parents. People also need to realize that a lot of personality traits come from their genes, not their parents nurturing, as this can be seen in the separated twin studies (Harris, 1998). Children will not use everything that they learned from their parents. In some social settings, these lessons may not be correct or embarrassing to use. Children learn how to behave, for the most part, from other people in their social group. Adults do the same; they act more like the people in their social groups rather than their parents. Children from the same parents reared in the same home are no more alike than if they were raised in separate homes. Even if parents try to raise two children the same way, they will still behave differently from each other (Harris, 1998). The nurture assumption leads parents to believe that if they mess up somehow in raising their child, they will mess up their child's life. Parents are sometimes held responsible if their child commits an illegal act. Take a headline such as "Fifteen year old John Doe is accused of killing his neighbor. " People are likely to start saying things such as "where are this child's parents? " or "how could somebody raise such a violent child? " when, according to Harris (1998), parents may have no control over their child when it comes to something like this. They can raise their child in the most loving home, yet he can still become a violent person. Limitations of the Bowlby-Ainsworth Attachment Theory The main idea of Bowlby's attachment theory can be summed up by the following, ". . . observation of how a very young child behaves towards his mother, both in her presence and especially in her absence, can contribute greatly to our understanding of personality development. When removed from the mother by strangers, young children respond usually with great intensity; and after reunion with her, anxiety or else unusual detachment" (Bowlby, 1969, p. 3). This idea, however, has several limitations. The first limitation is "model attachment is based on behaviors that occur during momentary separations (stressful situations) rather than during nonstressful situations. A broader understanding of attachment requires observation of how the mother and infant interact and what they provide for each other during natural, nonstressful situations" (Field, 1996, p. 543). How children and mothers interact together and not stressed shows more of how the attachment model works than how the child acts when the mother leaves and then returns. Behaviors directed towards the attachment figure during departing and reunion times cannot be the only factors used when defining attachment. Another problem with the attachment model is that "the list of attachment behaviors is limited to those that occur with the primary attachment figure, typically the mother. However, other attachments are not necessarily characterized by those same behaviors" (Field, 1996, p. 544). Children have attachments to other people other than their mothers, but they do not show this attachment the same way. For example, children may cry or follow their mother when they are getting ready to leave them, but for a sibling or peer they may just become fussy or unable to sleep. Also, the attachment model behavior list only includes blatant behaviors, but there may be physiological changes during separations and reunions. The last limitations to the attachment model is that the mother is viewed as the primary attachment figure, when in fact, a father or sibling can have the same type of attachment with the infant at the same time. This relates to adults having more than one primary attachment, such as to their spouse and child. This leads to the last limitation in the attachment model that "attachment is confined to the infancy and early childhood period, ending, as noted by Bowlby, during puberty. It does not consider attachments that occur during adolescence (the first love), during adulthood (spouses and lovers), and during later life (the strong attachments noted between friends in retirement)" (Field, 1996, p. 545). After considering these limitations, Field (1996) came up with her own attachment model as described here: A parsimonious model of attachment would need to accommodate multiple attachments to a variety of figures at different stages of life. We have used a more psychobiological approach in formulating a model that focuses on the relationship between two individuals and what they share and what might then be missing when they are separated. In this model (Field 1985), attachment is viewed as a relationship that develops between two or more organisms as they become attuned to each other, each providing the other meaningful arousal modulation, which occurs in separation, invariably results in behavioral and physiological disorganization (Field, 1996, p. 545). Conclusions I have reviewed the basic ideas of attachment theory and criticisms of attachment theory. Agreeing with Harris (1998), I believe that parents should not be totally held responsible for the

Attachment by Classical Conditioning