Socialization Handbook for the Adoptive Parents 1 Socialization

Socialization Handbook for the Adoptive Parents 1 Socialization Handbook for the Adoptive Parents Danielle Ann Wood SOC 312: Child Family and Society Instructor: Jessica Budzinski Monday, July 14, 2014

Welcome to family life! Some say this is the best time of your life! (And the hardest!) You will find the love of your life in your child and find yourself stretched by that love in ways you never imagined! We all want to provide our child with the best possible advantages, and experiences and make sure we do all we can to raise healthy, happy children in every domain. Raising socially healthy children is no exception and with adoptive parents, understanding social development can become a crucial element in successfully raising your child.

Bronfenbrenner's Ecological Model offers a concrete visual to understanding all the various elements that take part in socializing your child.

Bronfenbrenner's Ecological Model Microsystem: Refers institutions and groups that most immediately and directly impact the child's development including: family, school, religious institutions, neighborhood, and peers. Mesosystem: Interconnections between the microsystems, interactions between the family and teachers, Relationship between the child’s peers and the family Exosystem: Involves links between a social setting in which the individual does not have an active role and the individual's immediate context. For example, a parent's or child's experience at home may be influenced by the other parent's experiences at work. The parent might receive a promotion that requires more travel, which might increase conflict with the other parent and change patterns of interaction with the child. Macrosystem: Describes the culture in which individuals live. Cultural contexts include developing and industrialized countries, socioeconomic status, poverty, and ethnicity. A child, his or her parent, his or her school, and his or her parent's workplace are all part of a large cultural context. Members of a cultural group share a common identity, heritage, and values. The macrosystem evolves over time, because each successive generation may change the macrosystem, leading to their development in a unique macrosystem. Chronosystem: The patterning of environmental events and transitions over the life course, as well as sociohistorical circumstances.

Parenting Styles • Authoritarian: high degree of demandingness and a low degree of responsiveness Authoritarian parents ‘‘attempt to shape, control, and evaluate the behavior and attitudes of the child in accordance with a set of standard of conduct, usually an absolute standard, theologically motivated and formulated by a higher authority. They value obedience as a virtue and favor punitive, forceful measures to curb self-will at points where the child’s actions and beliefs conflict with what they think is right conduct’’(p 2). • Permissive: low degree of demandingness and a high degree of responsiveness Permissive parents ‘‘attempt to behave in a non-punitive, acceptant, and affirmative manner towards the child’s impulses, desires, and actions. They make few demands for household responsibility and orderly behavior. They allow the child to regulate his own activities as much as possible, avoid the exercise of control, and do not encourage him to obey externally-defined standards’’(p 2). • Authoritative: high degrees of demandingness and responsiveness. Authoritative parents ‘‘attempt to direct the child’s activities but in a rational, issue-oriented manner. They encourage verbal give and take, and share with the child the reasoning behind their policy”(p 2).

Parenting Styles

Authoritative Style Facts Children reared by authoritative parents exhibit more social competence than do other children (Amato & Folwer, 2002; Mc. Clun & Merrell, 1998; Steinberg & Morris, 2001). Both boys and girls reared by authoritative parents exhibit lower levels of problem behavior across all stages of the lifespan and across all ethnic groups (Jackson, Henriksen, & Foshee, 1998; Kim, Hetherington, & Reiss, 1999) Children reared by authoritative parents are better able to balance the demands of conforming to others’ expectations with their own needs for uniqueness and autonomy (Durbin et al. , 1993; Shucksmith, Leo, Hendry, & Glendinning, 1995). Both boys and girls tend to perform better in school if they are reared by authoritative parents—this higher level of performance is seen from preschool throughout early adulthood (Brooks-Gunn & Markman, 2005; Chen & Kaplan, 2001). Effective parenting skills further the growth of a child’s social and communication skills, as well as their ability to concentrate on tasks and at school (Connell & Prinz, 2002; Lamb-Parker, Boak, Griffin, Ripple, & Peay, 1999). When parents are warm, sensitive, and responsive to their child’s needs, they foster a wide range of interpersonal development in children, from the development of a healthy sense of self, to a sense of belonging and well-being, to high levels of self-esteem (Harvard Family Research Project, 2006). -(Welch" 49)

Childcare Options: There a few options in regards to childcare. You may hire a nanny, utilize family members to provide care, or bring your child to any number of daycare centers. Each option provides benefits and drawbacks. • Nannies(+) allows child to remain in familiar environment, provides consistency of care, models attachment/relationship after familiar bond with primary caregiver. Family can choose Nanny that fits best. (-) cost is higher, less supervision, less opportunity for socialization with peers • Family Care. Giver (+) Familiar caregiver, establishing family bonds, cultural and values potentially same, potentially lower or no cost, consistency of care (-) less opportunity for socialization with peers • Childcare Centers There are several types of centers: *In home Family Centers (typically licensed), may provide warm, comfortable setting, consistency of care, safe, opportunity for peer socialization. (-) cost, not in home or family, less supervision, less emphasis on education. *Child Development Centers strong supervision, strong emphasis on education and child development appropriateness, licensed, program formed on current child development research and knowledge. (-) cost, potentially higher turnover rate.

MEDIA USE IN THE HOME “Television and other entertainment media should be avoided for infants and children under age 2. A child's brain develops rapidly during these first years, and young children learn best by interacting with people, not screens” -The American Academy of Pediatrics Always monitor the media your child is engaging in. Educate them about the potential dangers online. Have limits around screen use (including television, video games, telephones, computers, etc. ) Have “screen-free” areas in the home and/or “screen-free” days. Be aware of the social messaging that is in the book, audio, and various screen media that your child utilizes. Encourage dialogue about the messages they receive and be willing to censor media that is inappropriate.

Positive and Negative Effects of Media (-) Can perpetuate negative stereotypes and gender biases. (-) Social media can be used by bullies to target victims (-)Can isolate child and have negative affects on social and communication skills (-)Internet can give access to people who prey on children (-) “The negative influence of video games included their potential to influence children adversely because their plots focus on aggression, competition, and stereotyping; their tendency to confuse reality with fantasy; and their lack of opportunities for independent thought or creativity” (Section 9. 5). (-) Media may be used in place of face-toface interaction which children benefit from the most. (+) Can be used to educate and socialize towards anti-biases (+) Social media can be used to develop peer relationships (+) “Children can form new microsystems by interacting with others around the world by playing games on their phones, or by meeting others in the same geographical location just by using the same application” (Section 9. 5). (+) Computer literacy can begin early in childhood (+) “Video games can enhance visual spatial skills including tracking, mental rotation, and target localization” (Section 9. 5). (+) “…gaming may also improve problem solving skills” (Section 9. 5).

Culture and Ethnicity in the Development of the Self-Concept “Agents of socialization include the individuals and institutions that help children acquire the attitudes, beliefs, values, skills, and behaviors that the larger society considers desirable” (Section 2. 2). Parents, siblings, extended family, community all are agents of socialization. “Culture is the set of beliefs, values, rituals, and institutions of a group or population in addition to the physical objects or artifacts that represent that context such as clothing and housing. Culture is part of the macrosystem in Bronfenbrenner's ecological model and is a dynamic force that responds to social, political, and economic events and that shapes the meaning of those events. In other words, culture provides ways of seeing the world such as providing a lens for shaping childrearing beliefs, goals, and practices” (Section 2. 2). An ethnic group or ethnicity is a collection of people who share certain attributes, almost always including ancestral heritage and often including national origin, religion, customs, and language…In contrast, race is defined as phenotypic differences that arise from the genetic or biological dispositions such as skin color or hair texture…” (Section 2. 2). Children learn by members in their Microsystem what values, customs, traditions, and so on are important to their family and should be to them. They learn, through culture and ethnicity, who they are and can develop a sense of pride and definition from activities around culture and ethnicity.

Ideas About Learning About Your Culture • Bring child to library and research what you do know • Attend community events, festivals, powwows, etc. of your family’s culture (and others) • Spend evening re-telling family stories, watching home movies, and looking at old photographs.

Fostering a Sense of Self Esteem “self-esteem Subjective evaluation of one’s value or self -worth” (Glossary). “The idea of self-concept has been defined as an individual's perception of his or her identity as distinct from others” Section 3. 3). There are many ways to foster a strong sense of self-esteem, beginning at birth by responding to an infants needs promptly and effectively, helping the child learn to trust in their caregiver and their world. There is no such thing as a spoiled baby! This will also foster a secure attachment to the caregiver by the infant and will provide a stable base from which the child will feel secure and safe in the world to explore and learn. Without this base the child will be unsure, insecure, and hesitent and not develop a strong sense of self esteem. As your child approaches the toddler years, giving your child ample opportunity to practice autonomy. Provide lots of simple choices, help them master new skills and let them make messes, mistakes, and learn through trying. Child development theorist Erikson calls these two learning periods as Trust vs. Mistrust (0 -18 months) and Autonomy vs. Shame/Doubt. Helping children master these periods will provide a solid foundation of self-esteem and confidence.

Socialization at School vs. Socialization at Home • At school children are able to experience peer relationships, forming and maintaining social groups. • Children learn new rules of behavior and adhere to a new schedule. • At school age, children spend more time with teachers and peers than with parents and siblings. • Children (mostly) learn all their fundamental educational concepts from teachers. • Teachers help guide behaviors • Peers will influence the values, interests, and behaviors of your child. School provides a positive opportunity to experience socialization outside the home in a safe and supportive setting. Children not only engage more fully with peers than ever before, but also with other adults and are able to experience a full academic schedule filled with new and exciting opportunities to learn. • • At home children receive their primary bond with caregivers, which allows them to competently go out into the world. Parents teach children how to take care of themselves (cleanliness). Parents teach children how to be in the world (manners, helpfulness). Parents can help children identify and manage their own emotions and how to communicate effectively. Siblings can also model and instruct younger children on behavior expectations and values. Children establish their own values, norms, behaviors, and self-identity from home influences. Extended Family can contribute to socializing children. At home, children are the most comfortable, in the vicinity of their most loved and familiar care giver. They are securely attached, trusting the world, and are supported in exploring the world and learning. It is in this environment that children experience who they identify with, what their values, norms, behavioral expectations, religious beliefs, and cultural traditions are. It is from the home environment that children are able to go out into the world and be successful, (like school).

The Teacher’s Role • • • Teachers provide the classroom environment and motivation for learning. instill the rules of the classroom are responsible for communication with parents -(Section 2. 2) The teacher plays a critical role in a child’s life. The teacher will help socialize the child to the world at large, including the academic world, peer relations, behavioral expectations , attitudes, beliefs, and provide a go-between for parents and the school body. The child will see the teacher as a critical model in the school Microsystem, along with his/her peers.

Positive Peer Interactions Helping your child learn how to have healthy and positive social skills can give them necessary skills to become healthy and successful adults. *Model healthy relationships. *Help children to identify, process, and communicate emotions. *Help children learn problem solving skills *Promote compassion for others in the home with consistency *Cultivate manners (please, thank you, sharing, etc. ) *Provide opportunities to practice peer socializing. Help children when necessary but allow children to navigate relationships on own as much as possible.

References Bojczyk K. , Shriner B. , Shriner M. (2012). Supporting Children's Socialization: A Developmental Approach. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc. Brook, J. , Lee, J. , Finch, S. , & Brown, E. (2012). The Association of Externalizing Behavior and Parent-Child Relationships: An Intergenerational Study. Journal Of Child & Family Studies, 21(3), 418 -427. doi: 10. 1007/s 10826 -0119493 -9 Stevenson, M. M. , & Crnic, K. K. (2013). Intrusive fathering, children's self-regulation and social skills: a mediation analysis. Journal Of Intellectual Disability Research, 57(6), 500 -512. doi: 10. 1111/j. 1365 -2788. 2012. 01549. x WEBSTER, L. , LOW, J. , SILLER, C. , & KISST HACKETT, R. (2013). UNDERSTANDING THE CONTRIBUTION OF A FATHER'S WARMTH ON HIS CHILD'S SOCIAL SKILLS. Fathering: A Journal Of Theory, Research, & Practice About Men As Fathers, 11(1), 90 -113. doi: 10. 3149/fth. 1101. 90 Uji, M. , Sakamoto, A. , Adachi, K. , & Kitamura, T. (2014). The Impact of Authoritative, Authoritarian, and Permissive Parenting Styles on Children's Later Mental Health in Japan: Focusing on Parent and Child Gender. Journal Of Child & Family Studies, 23(2), 293 -302. doi: 10. 1007/s 10826 -013 -9740 -3 Welch, Pauline J. Turner Kelly J. (1996), Parenting in Contemporary Society, 5/e Vitalsource e. Book for Ashford University. Pearson Learning Solutions. Vital. Book file.