Social and Personality Development in Early Adulthood Chapter

Social and Personality Development in Early Adulthood Chapter 14 Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2011 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

SOCIAL AND PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT IN EARLY ADULTHOOD

Looking Ahead How do young adults form loving relationships, and how does love change over time? How do people choose spouses, and what makes relationships work and cease working? How does the arrival of children affect a relationship?

Looking Ahead Why is choosing a career such an important issue for young adults, and what factors influence the choice of a career? Why do people work, and what elements of a job bring satisfaction?

Table 14 -1

INTIMACY, LIKING, AND LOVING DURING EARLY ADULTHOOD FORGING RELATIONSHIPS Imagine you have an exchange student living with you. She originates from an imaginary culture where all relationships are scripted by parents and confides she has become interested in a classmate. She asks your advice about relationships work in America. What will you tell her?

What makes young adults happy? Happiest memories = psychological needs rather than material needs satisfied Unhappiest memories = basic psychological needs left unfulfilled Culture influences which psychological needs are most important in determining happiness

What makes us tick? Social Clocks of Adulthood Definition Cultural influence Helson’s research

Seeking Intimacy: Erikson’s View of Young Adulthood INTIMACY-VERSUS-ISOLATION STAGE Intimacy = Close, intimate relationship with others Isolation = Feelings of loneliness and fearful of relationships

Friendship Important part of adult life need for belonging Filters Personal qualities

The Friends We Choose

Falling in Love: When Liking Turns to Loving How does love develop?

Falling in Love STIMULUS-VALUE-ROLE (SVR) THEORY (Murstein) Stimulus stage Value stage Role stage

STIMULUS-VALUE-ROLE (SVR) THEORY According to Murstein’s SVR theory, relationships proceed through a series of fixed stages.

Passionate and Companionate Love: Two Faces of Love PASSIONATE (ROMANTIC LOVE) COMPANIONATE LOVE

LABELING THEORY OF PASSIONATE LOVE If it hurts…it really love? How do you know?

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory: Three Faces of Love Robert Sternberg Intimacy Passion Decision/Commitment

The Shape of Love (Sternberg, 1986)

Do as I say…not as I do! Relatively high number of people report close friend of a different race Relatively low number actually name someone of another race or ethnicity

Choosing a Partner: Recognizing Mr. or Ms. Right

Seeking a Spouse: Is Love All That Matters? U. S. – love as a major factor In other cultures, love may be a secondary Emotional maturity, health, similar education, chastity

Choosing a Mate Gender differences Species requirement

Does the evolutionary explanation make sense to you?

Filtering Models of Mate Selection Louis Janda and Karen Llenke-Hamel Broad determinants of attractiveness Specifics End result

Do you think you will use the principle of homogamy to select a mate?

Marriage Outside of Racial/Ethnic Group Although homogamy has been standard for most marriages in U. S. , rate of marriages crossing ethnic/racial lines is increasing.

What happens when the marriage gradient faces the cougar?

Attachment Styles and Romantic Relationships Infant attachment style is reflected in adult romantic relationships (Shaver) Secure Avoidant Anxious-ambivalent

Developmental Diversity Gay and Lesbian Relationships: Men with Men and Women with Women Research findings suggest that gay and lesbian relationships are quite similar to relationships between heterosexuals Most gays and lesbians seek loving, long-term, and meaningful relationships that differ little qualitatively from those desired by heterosexuals

Should marriage a legal option for lesbians and gays?

Review and Apply REVIEW According to Erikson, young adults are in the ____ stage. The course of relationships typically follows a pattern of increasing ____, and ____. SVR theory regards ____as passing successively though ____, value, and role stages. According to the labeling theory of passionate love, people experience love when intense ____ is accompanied by ____that the experience should be labeled “love. ” Types of love include ____ and ____ love. Sternberg’s triangular theory identifies three basic components (____, and ____).

Review and Apply REVIEW In many Western cultures, ____ is the most important factor in selecting a partner. According to ____ models, people apply increasingly fine filters to potential partners, eventually choosing a mate according to the principles of ____ and the ____. Attachment styles in infants appear to be linked to the ability to form ____in ____. In general, the values applied to relationships by heterosexual, gay, and lesbian couples are more ____than ____.

Review and Apply APPLY Consider a long-term marriage with which you are familiar. Do you think the relationship involves passionate love or companionate love (or both)? What changes when a relationship moves from passionate to companionate love? From companionate to passionate love? In which direction is it more difficult for a relationship to move? Why? How do the principles of homogamy and the marriage gradient work to limit options for high-status women? How do they affect men’s options?

THE COURSE OF RELATIONSHIPS

Are you a POSSLQ?

To Marry or Not to Marry: That is the Question

Why do people choice cohabitation rather than marriage? Not ready for lifelong commitment “Practice” for marriage Reject institution of marriage

Why marry? • Preferred alternative during early adulthood • Desirability of spouse roles • Legitimatization of children • Legal benefits and protections

Why do people wait?

What makes marriage work? Successful married partners: Show affection Communicate relatively little negativity Perceive themselves as interdependent Experience social homogamy, similarity in leisure activity. and role preferences Hold similar interest Agree on distribution of roles

Divorce Around the World Increases in divorce rates are significant worldwide

Why?

When the Honeymoon Wanes

But the news is not all bad! Most married couples: View early years of marriage as deeply satisfying Find themselves more deeply in love than before marriage Report newlywed period as one of happiest in entire married life

Parenthood: Choosing to Have Children Statistics Costs Reasons

What produced the decline in the US fertility rate? Availability of more reliable birth control methods Increasing numbers of working outside the home Choosing to have children later Cost of raising and educating children Fear of not being good or accessible parent

Dual-Earner Couples Working Parent Statistics and Distribution of Chores

Two’s a Couple, Three’s a Crowd? Dramatic shift in spouse's roles Challenges to marital satisfaction Successful coping

Gay and Lesbian Parents About 20% of gay men and lesbian women are parents No difference in psychological adjustment from children raised in heterosexual homes Specialization of roles develop For children, no differences in terms of eventual adjustment from those raised in heterosexual households

Singlehood Statistics Rationale Societal view

From Research to Practice Majority of American Women Are Living Without Spouse What do the numbers say? What do the numbers mean?

Something to ponder… Why do you think that women are less inclined to remarry after a divorce than men are?

Review and Apply REVIEW ____ is an increasingly popular option for young adults, but most still choose marriage. ____ is prevalent in the United States, particularly within the first 10 years of marriage.

Review and Apply REVIEW Couples overwhelmingly desire to ____ children, although the availability of ____ and ____ in women’s roles in the workplace have combined to ____ average family size. Children bring pressures to both heterosexual and homosexual relationships, causing changes in ____, and ____.

Review and Apply APPLY In what ways do you think cognitive changes in early adulthood (e. g. , the emergence of postformal thought and practical intelligence) affect how young adults deal with questions of marriage, divorce, and childrearing? Why do you think society has established such a powerful norm in favor of marriage? What effects might such a norm have on a person who prefers to remain single?

WORK: CHOOSING AND EMBARKING ON A CAREER

Identity During Young Adulthood: Role of Work Vaillant : Career consolidation General pattern of psychological development as young adults center on careers Career concerns supplant focus on intimacy Criticisms Highly restricted sample limits Generalizability Dated findings questions in view of shifts in attitudes toward importance of work

Picking an Occupation Ginzberg’s Career Choice Theory Fantasy period Tentative period Realistic period Criticism Non-representative sample Overstates choices and options to lower SES people Age demarcations may be too rigid

Picking an Occupation Holland’s Personality Type Theory Realistic Intellectual Social Conventional Enterprising Artistic Criticism Lack of fit for many Exceptions to typology

Gender and Career Choices: Women’s Work Traditionally COMMUNAL PROFESSIONS = women AGENTIC PROFESSIONS = men Women less likely found in maledominated professions

The Gender-Wage Gap

Why Do People Work? Motivation Extrinsic Intrinsic Personal identity Status

A question… If your professor shines shoes on the weekend, where does she or he fall on the status hierarchy?

What is the status of…? Check Table 14 -4 What is the status of the career you hope to enter? Were you surprised?

Table 14 -4

Satisfaction on the Job Satisfaction related to job status Worker satisfaction also associated with: Nature of job Amount of input one has into one’s duties Influence employees have over others

The Informed Consumer of Development Choosing a Career: Beginning Guidelines Systematically evaluate a variety of choices. Know yourself. Create a “balance sheet, ” “Try out” different careers through paid or unpaid internships. Remember that if you make a mistake, you can change careers. It is reasonable to expect that careers may change throughout life.

Review and Apply REVIEW Choosing a career is an important step in early adulthood, so important that George Vaillant considers ____a developmental stage on a par with Erikson’s ____ stage. According to Eli Ginzberg, people pass through ____ stages in considering careers: the ____ period, and the ____ period.

Review and Apply REVIEW Other theories of career choice, such as John Holland’s, attempt to match ____to suitable ____are changing, but women still experience subtle prejudice in career ____, and ____. People work because of both ____ and ____ motivation factors.

Review and Apply APPLY If Vaillant’s study were performed today on women, in what ways do you think the results would be similar to or different from those of the original study? How does the division of jobs into communal and agentic relate to traditional views of male–female differences?

EPILOGUE Before we move on to middle adulthood in the next chapter, recall the prologue that began this chapter, about the relationship of Anne Miller and Michael Davoli. In light of your knowledge of relationships and careers in early adulthood, answer the following questions. What does Anne’s willingness to cope with the effects of Michael’s Tourette’s syndrome suggest about their relationship? Discuss the course of Anne and Michael’s relationship in terms of stimulus-value-role (SVR) theory. What advice would you give Anne and Michael about keeping their marriage happy?