Show AND Tell Dont tell me the moon

Show AND Tell Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~Anton Chekhov

Tell Show Abstract statements Concrete details Conclusions Sensory details (5 senses) Judgments Specifics nouns, pronouns, Reflections Quotes, paraphrases, summaries from research Opinions dialogue Overall generalizations Evidence/proof/support Thesis/topic sentences Statistics, facts Thoughts Subjective Description Abstract statements Explanations Stories Objective Description Physical details names dates

An essay is… • A thesis, main point or overall feeling with evidence to back it up. Possible formats for Descriptive Essays might be: 1. Thesis Evidence 2. Evidence Thesis Consider also- pictures, metaphors, sections, headings, short then long paragraphs. Inspirational quotes.

• This essay has been hard for me to write… • Every night I sit at my computer trying to research but I only think about how tired and hungry I am. . .

Imagery- using words that appeals to ALL senses. Naming and detailing. • Simile- comparison using like or as “His eyes were like the sea after a storm” • Metaphor- comparison describing one thing as though it were another thing. “My love is a red, red rose”

**Use imagery and comparing to SHOW without judgment. Let your reader feel how cold it was or see how ugly a day it was without you telling them. *** • Avoid clichés and over used idioms like the plague. • “hungry like a bear” try “hungry like a zombie”

• A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running • All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind. • “The water made a sound like kittens lapping. ” — The Yearling • “Kate inched over her own thoughts like a measuring worm. ” — East of Eden • “The very mystery of him excited her curiosity like a door that had neither lock nor key. ” • Time has this annoying habit of creeping up on you. • From the roof of my house, I observed that snow had wrapped a white blanket over my city.

Tips for original detail and metaphor • Avoid clichés- overused sayings, idioms “butterflies in the stomach” “dry as a desert” “turning over a new leaf” • Be specific • Use pronouns, names, dates, colors, etc. • Avoid vague, telling adjectives and adverbs: pretty, nice, old. • SHOW and tell. If you are abstract follow it up with an example. “it was an old book with frayed yellow edges and dust on the cover. ” • De clutter – take out obvious, redundant, filler words. Replace with stronger words.

More tips • Is everything you write doing work and have a purpose? • What is your audience, purpose, structure, tone and voice? Does it work together? • Do I use physical description and reflection? • Can my reader really see what I’m describing object? • Use strong verbs. Avoid “is, are” and other TO BE verbs. There is, etc. • “Writing is a visual art”… make it strong. • Remember, details are stronger than overall generalizations. There is power in details.

Practice for imagery • Get into groups of 2 or 3. • Use only strong showing, imagery, comparing and specific verbs and adjectives to describe the word you’ve been given. • Write your description down. Do NOT use the words on the little piece of paper. • Share with the class. • Don’t tell us what you got!

example • Covered in red puffy scabs, fleas and ticks clinging to his raw skin. His eyes dripping yellow goop, fur matted and mangled. He has the mange. A flat flaking nose, breath sour like month old banana peels. Gray and white tongue hanging out as he pants. He limps along the street like a dying rug. • Ugly dog