Shades of Yous 90 2 poems in 4

Shades of Yous 90 + 2 poems in 4 sections Ludger Philips

Shades of Yous o Dense Thoughts o Traces of Fire – Encounters o Contours of Encounters o Autumn Light under the Moon Node 90 + 2 poems in 4 sections June – October 2009 Ludger Philips

Shades of Yous The German volume of poems “Schattierungen von Dus" (Shades of Yous) was published at spring equinox 2013. Now, one year later, they are published in English as well. The translation was done by the author and proof-read by Vijay Ganugula, New Jersey, USA. I'm very grateful for his suggestions and feedbacks. The 90 + 2 poems were written between June-October 2009 and were distributed in 4 sections. 3. 5 years later, they were published as a digital work in German together with photos taken by friends and myself, illustrating the tonality and the motives of the poems. As per demand, this book is also produced as a photo book in individual printing. The poems speak of the reverberation of encounters, of wounds and their healing, of dangers of the way and surprises of everyday life. To my surprise I noticed that the “Schattierungen von Dus" was published exactly 33 years after my first volume of poems, the “Song of Silence” (1980), and that it touched some of the motives that were already present at that time. Easter 2014

Christa, Cristina, Dinu, Eva & Hans, Gustavo, Fernando, Joan Ma, Martine, Miquel & Rosa, Nikolai Thank you very much for your photos ! Most of the pictures come from my own collection. They serve as illustrations of the tonality of the poems and the motives. They often lasted only for a short moment, where suddenly Kairos, the space of a successful encounter, opened up. These poems also come from this place. May they give the readers access to this space. Ludger Philips March 2013

Dichte Gedanken Trauen Miss-Trauen Mich trauen Dense Thoughts Ver-Trauen An-Ver-Trauen Treue Shades of Yous – 1 Reue tragen ver-tragen Trost Ost Sonne 27 poems mostly from morning hours of 18 days in June 7 – 24 June 09 St. John 2009 nähren Nähe

Trust Letting Mis-trust and Self-trust Allowing Confide Letting happen Entrust Involving Troth Surrendering Remorse Committing Endure Distrust ceases - Reconcile Trusting Solace Daring East Trust in oneself Sun Dreaming Nurture Trusty Nearness 7 June 09

Please ! No Answer ! A tender flower ! Fragile !!! Delete - Delete 1 Lethe 2 Mnemosyne 3 7 June 09 1 Delete: engl. : erase 2 According to Greek mythology , Lethe is one of the rivers of the underworld. The name comes from the ancient Greek language and literally means forgetfulness or oblivion. (Wikipedia) 3 According to the mysteries, besides Lethe there is the river Mnemosyne, and after the transition we can drink from both. Those who drink from Mnemosyne remember all and are privileged with the gift of omniscience.

Waiting in silence for the pain Open to ease for the opening which accompanies of the door until Waiting merging for the echo in be-ness of the You through which 9 June 09 IT smiles at me

Dressing The mist of bad mood thought-impulses evaporates into word-vestments The vastness Giving away of the serene space the treasures of the soul remains Splashes of joy laughs away the darkness lights up dolorous paths The reverberation in other hearts strengthens the power of reconstruction Inspiration breathes through from the high sources 9 June 09

The fresh dew of the New lies at the threshold. Bare feet stride over virgin ground, never been touched by another one. The eye of the soul conquers original new ground with the very delicate view, gives healing to the crusted wounds of the past. Aurora 1 dawn rising 9 June 09 1 The Roman Goddess of Dawn. Title of a book of the medieval mystic Jakob Böhme.

After long years of silence the doors of thoughts open anew; unthought surges out. The signs indicate a storm brewing. But dialogue is still too early in mined terrains, where a wrong step is enough to close them anew in the You. But at the horizon future times are waving, open, common paths. Hope waits in stillness and stills the waiting. 10 June 09

They are sitting at the fountain, the Norns, 1 and weave anew their ancient cloth of old and new. I put on the cloth with wonderous figures and surprising forms of life, but I’m not it, neither does it bind anymore. 1 In Urd, Werdandi and Skuld, just continue weaving a good thread for a lighter garment for the ceremony of the wedding of Uranos’ children. I’m looking forward to the reunion. 10 June 09 the Edda, female beings of Norse mythology rule the destiny of gods and men. They are called Urd (what has come to existence), Werdandi (the becoming) and Skuld (what has to become), that is, past, present, and future. According to the Völuspá, they live at the roots of the World Tree, the great Ash Tree at the well of fate.

Neptunian muse drops bright-sounding tones into the soul from the depth of space. Her secret-apparent meeting with Jupiter in me brings out of the fullness an overabundance down into the language. Aquarian flow. The pot was never closed, only the mouth of the mind. Unfathomable joy about the new dance of the words.

Double-bind messages 1 are misunderstood if not the ear hears the underlying need speaking between the lines. “No Answer ! “calls for an answer, but at the same time fear of the “No !” is to be heard, of a refused hand, of the pain of mutual hurt. As long as the ground is fragile, no light-hearted step can walk over the bridge, subtle words can provoke fear of one’s own shadow. 1 Double-bind Time heals wounds, when the breath of the healing wing-beat of the butterfly softly caresses them. A new innocence of the gently opening soul is a risk, a slow growing. But the force of inner comfort gives security, and the ambivalent fear evaporates in the light of the sun. 10 June 09 messages: In pychology messages with a paradox content (yes and no) causing confusion.

Cover after cover and passes through Alas if the opening the spark point all protective veils only comes from one side of existence without restraint, if it is not wraps up touches the core a mutual approaching and faces with the core. and giving of closeness. as my being Through the magic of magnetism Gaping wounds shake. all yous. the cores are attracted, The opening They remain, energy is released in the doesn't close completely. and also me, intimate closeness But through the door an interplay leading to fusion. which the pain has opened, of encounters In the presence profoundity enters, separated by of the holy you through which a high ray the inner sheaths. the holiest me can be received and Only rarely is open, passed on, comes a you unprotected. giving away holy healing. 12 June 09

Oyster Pearls. The nearness of thoughts is still too early. Congealed fire otherwise burns. Chitta Chora 1. 12 June 09 1 Chitta Chora: Thief of the heart, thief of the mind (name for Krishna)

No sound resounds but the healing of wounds from the depths of sorrow. needs time. The doors remain closed. Lost closeness A cold hand trust holds back the word cannot be from the flight into the expanse. re-evoked. Old layers of The crows age-old stories in the deep blue vibrate like a of the morning sky distant tremor of the earth. announce no harm, The ground seems to be brittle but extol the beauty and I ask myself of the morning. why this pain And the sun, keeps on rising mighty and clear, like a poisonous gas brings a new wave from out of a crevice. of warmth and of life, The mind knows, these are also into my heart. passing shadows, 13 June 09

Which way Wakefully the wind of change blows? I observe Does it come from outside both sides, into me and listen drive away old leaves? to the distant swoosh, Or is it waiting through the opening at the threshold. of an inner door, which suddenly opens and surprises me by the unexpected direction of its stream? 14 June 09

Word-skiffs bring rich goods from faraway countries across the sea. Smells and multicoloured sounds tell of unknown territories of the eighth continent. They land on the bank of my heart and joyfully I receive their freight. 14 June 09

The intensity to whom I give of the experience a meal of experience. feigns permanence. Then they pass on, Deep sorrow, often without goodbye, pain and another guest as well as joy knocks at the door are very present and seeks entry, in the presence, which I grant him. suffuse me completely A coming and going, by the directness which I am not. of their impact. I AM Even if they colour in the vastness of the space the note of feeling inside, for days or months, and protrude beyond while their melody into the You, strongly resonates in me, where we meet they are nevertheless beyond the ground. just wanderers, who temporarily take refuge in my harborage, 15 June 09

In the dialogue with you Ground comes up again I still feel like on thin ice. by sensing you My sensorium through the echo of your words, doesn't know, between the lines, where I touch a wound, the sound, where a red light blinks the colour of thoughts. and warns not to move on. A tentative approach My normal security through darkness. is not Over there, and I feel every step at the end of the hallway, as a hazard confidence waves. in unknown grounds. The familiar, natural comfort is not again there. 15 June 09

Where out of the depth of the silent space a single, silvery word falls down through the opened gap there is the place that gives the power to my thoughts to ascend with angel wings. and brings a fresh message, which drives my activity to new, unexpected ways, where the presence of intimate touch lets its loving hand glide over my and where the guiding thread is firmly anchored in my heart 16 June 09

Delicate pink ribbed clouds Pictures and people announce the rise pass by of the sun, on their whose rays own tracks. gleam up My thoughts in vibrant gold wave to them between hills and roofs and sink into the new day. into the stream The streets are still silent of events. like waiting fraught with tension. I travel The traffic signals and I remain change their light still and the screeching in me. of the rails makes the tram 17 June 09 enter into me, absorbs me into it and away into the day. Beginning of a journey to Germany, summer solstice seminar

In these times And nevertheless of irritating change the soul knows the plan, the way through life is aware of the direction, often isn't easy softly draws to you and the place the fabric where you can for the guiding thread. unfold your work It gives security is covered by and assurance, mirroring perspectives. is part of the cloth Expectations of be-ness, lead to wrong paths which coats and the fears of others and holds us blur the view and creates a home. of the path Trust like swirling sand, carries covering the signs. the next step ahead. 17 June 09 on the way to Germany

The train stops, Many run in similar directions, returns but with which goal? to the last station. In precarious times An emergency. Suicide? insecurity and diffuseness Together with many others are continuous companions. I walk from train to train, But like in a wakeful, pass on, lucid dream, and a second change I walk on, into another train. firm and carried, The next train breaks down protected on the running line. in the inner, Gearbox failure. Waiting. the inner hand, The scheduled security of my teacher, dissolves Guru, into new, changing structures, driving away fears. like concepts of life change at interchange points. 17 June 09 on the way to Germany

Mechanical flow of thoughts I like the quick flow often runs away of the intense stream with me of time. to their own destinations. Vital energy. Late I say, Stop! Pulsating heart-beat Where do you go? of the Mother. And where am I? The joy carries Millstone ways me move in circles to you. and grind at an idle speed. If inner wakefulness is active, I feel the flow of events and glide through them like a swimmer enjoying swimming. 18 June 09

I encounter probably without the lucid shadow of your being conscious in various talks, of their vibrations. contacts of my contacts, Spellbound I listen to help for friends, the magic image subtle touch of hearts of the spotlight through the gaze. of fleeting sensations The inner echo with joy in the heart. also resounds in the outer. The trace of the word of your being makes its ways and sends to me greetings from unknown shores The group is like a hall, where your steps wash their waves to me from many walls of souls, 19 June 09

The music Fullness of silence, of the gaze pulsating heartbeat of your eyes of respiration makes my soul perfuses me dance with joy. in wakeful awareness. The colours Even gratitude of your words fades away, lift me up while into the canopy of stars the line of my head, between you and me where in vast spaces disappears. they merge with the dark blue 21 June 09 of the depth, beyond the adamantine refulgence. for Sri Kumar, Summer Solstice

Into the delicate pink sky with the flow of giving and makes Venus of the dawn of summer, dance in us, which starts to decline from the closeness of the heart, and to withdraw its brightness, which receives a stitch the bloom Venus sends a soul laugh by rejection, of the shades of yous to the people still sleeping which pains me to hear. blithely merging in moonless night, Why into my depth. that they might open up do we shun each other? to the distress of the yous lock ourselves up, and no longer, securing the insecurity? talking love, Only when the moon might marginalize lets again a seemingly strange brother , shine through for they joyfully the great love inter-penetrate I feel the 22 June 09 New moon at summer solstice time, with Venus in the clouds the early morning sky

From out of the fire of the solstice ritual all of a sudden a jet-flame rises 1 at the soft flow of the Cancer moon milk and shocks the beholders. Does the messenger of the approaching event step violently with a firm, beautiful pace into the new arc of time? 22 June 09 1 During the fire ritual at summer solstice in Bad Essen on 21 June Sri Kumar poured at the end some milk into the pot, which mixed with ghee and caused an enormous jet-flame.

In the corridor of time and makes me fritter away invisible hands open lavishly silent doors the flowers of time into my rooms of experience, to yous which an unobservant eye who receive them with joy easily overlooks. in giving and taking But the soft breath of wind, of heart and of help, which touches me dispelling from over there the dangers and pains with the smell of promise of the dense clouds of the path, of growth and bringing relief of clear vastness, to the waiting wayfarers. lures my steps through the moment of opening. The silent guidance fills me with wonder, calling seemingly self-evidently but magically-tenderly over the thresholds 23 June 09

Where is the key until the rhythm to right, joint action? of the pulsation of our being Not my idea, is only one, but his one, breathing holiness which becomes ours in healing activity. through joint understanding, and where the steps don't lead to me but to the yous, to whom they bring their light. The measure is simplicity and gentleness in silently walking side by side, heart by heart, 24 June 09

Traces of Fire – Encounters Shades of Yous – 2 Chronological continuation 18 poems as a summer harvest from morning hours in Cancer 09 26 June – 12 July 09

In the cocoon of concepts and your asking and of spinning thoughts makes the glass wall in me which rush by, burst I don't hear your call, so that I can pass through don't see to you. that you An encased pain need my attention, urges to penetrate don't perceive the coat of the larva, your warning sign so that the butterfly of exhaustion. can open the wings Only late to feel the pulse of your life do I feel in me your need with empathic presence, finding myself in it. 26 June 09

Words Hardly the thoughts fly through the soul window, have flown away amplified electronically from the origin, to you. they are, Without echo. when I look after them Are they spamming? tied back and Digital bottle post bound to me thrown into the net ocean? through my bond Or do I, of waiting for an answer, like Narcissus, which menaces to bind me. self-centred, Forgetting is not detachment. only look into the mirror image of my own fountain, echoing from the I and I, without a door, trapped in expectations? I take the bond, put it on the altar and ask that it might burn and I might be free in be-ness. 27 June 09

Again and again and I, my wing terrified, butted against broke out too strongly the inner of the eggshell. with shattering emotions I couldn't come out of unknown vehemence, to the you. which threatened to frighten? Caught, The impact of birth is over and like drowsing, but still unsure though awake, I begin distant from the vastnesses to unfold my wings of the blue exterior space with new movements of the deep encounter. of the soul Was it from outside which would like to soar up or an urge from inside to you, and you, that sent a fiery urge exuding into YOU. up from abysses against the walls which burst, 28 June 09

There are profound paths even if we don't see mostly hidden to the eye his hand. which bring people together The seed has to be sown to join action. before it brings in us A distant reverberation the flower and fruit. might be perceived Who was the early morning sower ? like a call which we would like to follow to continue weaving Gratefully we reap the fruits of his labour. the fabric of fate, to take out twisted strands and to wattle into it new, purer patterns for the beauty of the garment The united striving unites us and guides us to the One who guides us, 29 June 09

No words are forming that vision and insight for you, might bring relief only silence and that waiting for release and a distant yearning. might open for them a door Is it unrest? through one's own walls Or is a train vibrating by of pretending perceptions. in the vastness So many walls with unknown travellers of destiny, built with the stone and mortar whose net fabric of misconceptions. echoes over to me? Pain pushes to open Images are emerging for love on the screen of the inner, which my aura lets in, 0 f distress if a silent understanding and of ignorant suffering of a Yes which, collecting them, permits it I put on the altar of my heart with gratitude with the request It is That. 30 June 09

The door closes not waiting but ready not for ever for the arrival of new ships, but there are times of transitions, which bring other freights where it is better from future harbours. to exercise caution The waves breathe again and where also in you their pulsating rhythm, transformations, like road works, and I look over don't allow talking on open terms to the rising sun and the dialogue of a radiant morning. seems to die away. It is difficult to weave to the other side a thread that finds another shore, or where the boat is too far away. But I stand at the pier of thoughts, 1 July 09

I encounter only a few It is volatile and delicate, who conduct the art of subtle dialogue Kairos 1, a successful moment, in written language and where the play, where the gate remain wide open and thus the continuance like a ping-pong, might let a touch of the ray of eternity to enter of the exchange of thoughts and give joyous fulfilment, doesn't quickly fall flat a foreboding of future bliss. and the opening Moods quickly change to the deep currents in the maelstrom of everyday life, of empathic listening, but repeated opening sharing and giving of the doors of the conversation of the heart of even bold words is being held by containing hands of the heart. 1 Kairos is a Greek expression for the favourable moment of a decision, which might turn disadvantageous, if it is allowed to elapse. The name comes from Greek mythology, where Kairos is the God of the favourable opportunity and of the right moment. According to the poet Ion of Chios (490– 421 BC) Kairos is the youngest son of Zeus. according to Wikipedia provides views into the land of joy, which lies still in the background and connects and sustains. 2 July 09

River rafting Interplay, through the rapids which also carries you of thoughts in through me ensouled talk, into the point which unites where one word and makes disappear the distance gives the next one as a present of attention. Like a fresh spray the sparks of ideas fly and unfold, like comets, their luminous paths through the current. in the silence of speaking, from out of which the joy springs up. A solemn ritual of the exuding moment of eternity. Fascination of flowing captures me and carries me away to you, where I meet me mirrored and yet very close in me. 3 July 09

At times counter-currents flow and obstruct with their irritating, iridescent, diffusing, dissonant sounds of feelings and of colours the access to the guiding sound for the listening ear, and wisps of the fog of exhaustion make the inner impulse of progression wane to an ebb tide, like a retraction, and powers the sails of the boat and the steersman recognizes again the direction, looking at the stars shining in the distance which show the way with signs readable for the knower. I wait and listen and look, how a new breeze forms over the surface of the rippling water to catch its breath with the power of their sails. an inhalation which absorbingly draws inwards. The challenge is to wait until the wind comes up again 4 July 09

Wandering through the vastnesses of the cosmic ray, space secured from the primary source you shed your rays, and passed on in the game Helios 1, of receiving and giving, to us who we, like plants which only till into my heart. sense your presence forebodingly It cannot end there, but who would wither away for fullness strives to expand, without the lifeblood of your ether. to flow, But you are also just an opening to give itself away. to the higher spring And thus I offer you 2 you call Savitru from the juice of nourishing life and which nourishes you, a chalice, filled with light, in league with your so that the drop eleven siblings, might flow on with whom you dance the roundelay through you to the ocean around a higher centre, of its destiny, the central sun, merging us which again gives and receives into itself. from its source, Bhargo Deva 3 , 1 Helios 5 July 09 is the Greek name for the sun. is the Sanskrit name for the soul of the sun radiating through the physical sun. 3 Bhargo Deva is the Sanskrit name for the spirit aspect of the sun, the Cosmic Sun. 2 Savitru

Some feelings I hide Walking into the depths, deep below layers of to the mines of suppressed pain, other sensations and thoughts, is difficult, for they carry in themselves but only if the black rocks painful memories, are raised out of the pits and unfulfilled yearning brought to the smelting, like relations to golden ore can flow out of them illegitimate children of mind. and become the sacrificial bowls But the bonds to them remain on the altars and at times urge up to the light and the chalices of consciousness, receiving divine nectar waiting for redemption from the Gods, from afar. like the whisking of the Milky Ocean 1 They tune moods in ancient times, of underground, through the forces of Light and of Darkness, diffuse, but clearly breaking the sound threw forth which wants to sound brightly and the Drink of Immortality spread radiantly. as a gift of the depth. 7 July 09 1 The Puranas describe how the Devas (gods) join forces with their antagonists, the Asuras (demons), to beat the Milky Ocean, out of which finally the drink of immortality emerges, Amrita.

In tight grains to prepare out of the grain the fruit of the summer harvest of the individual I's, is ripening for the future united with the yous, bread of understanding. a fragrant, nourishing bread They want to be milled, as food for many soaked, kneaded, who hunger for added with fermentation of time the fulfilling joy and the intense pressure of being. of almost unbearable heat of the crisis of transformation. The Great Baker knows to conduct us through the flaming steps of birth, 8 July 09

Could I not read calling for receptacles the weather report to receive it and contain. of your country, The electric tension when hot, quick summer winds draws a mighty reverberation of my day met the warm air into space over your deep lakes and the refreshing waters which were full of silent life? wash away the dust All of a sudden which covered the understanding deep black clouds pile up in the blue of the sky like threatening walls out of which a heavy flash hit your heart and rain poured down and open the dams between us, so that our stream flows again together to the distant ocean, whose call our souls follow. from out of old wounds 9 July 09

As you entrust me And this balm your upsetting experiences rises from your inner of cruelty, and forms a shield my heart opens wide parrying the impact and becomes a caring container of love of the blows cautiously receiving into itself the shock of violence and puts it down at the healing, light-filled source, where a secret alchemy of being invokes the forces of wound healing and coats the cruel traces on your shell with balm. and through its force of protection gives you again secureness and the feeling of being carried by the divine hand. 10 July 09

I am fed up with silence! Strange paradox: Like an unshackling bird, The vastness approaches out of the point like Saraswathi's 1 Swans, words swing upwards with inspiring joy and surge into the expanse. Why should I bind you with chains, at the centre and the distance of the horizon strings narrowness of the loss of myself. But when the spark points whereas you, white doves, germinate and become draw radiant traces of words the blazing fire of love, into a sky of gloomy times, the outer and the inner blend bringers of peace, to the blaze of intense existence messengers of deep and nothing remains which call back but … into the penetrating inner space 1 Saraswathi 10 July 09 is the goddess of the Divine Word; the pulsations of the Word come out of her like swans, see Dr. K. P. Kumar, Saraswathi. The Word.

I am an intensity junkie seems to lead to a in search of the kick dusky state of sleep of the deep encounter. of oblivion, At times it is difficult where many seem to be satisfied to get the drug, with a pale substitute. for it is kept locked Do they know the intensity of the original? like some secret good and only traded concealed as if it weren't abundantly available in us. We lose ourselves outside and the thirst for the juice of In the profound encounter words charged with experience pass over between us like magic light which throws a charm into space and keeps us in the spell of presence, giving the love of attention, receiving fulfilment. the fiery impulse of life 10 July 09

At times luminous signs of yous with searching questions appear on the radar listening for an answer. of my awareness, Often the opening is only short, which the screen captures anew and my antennas listen into the inner space for detection signals and messages to see if the course is the trace of a soul comet passing by and just sends identification signals like a distant radio signal, but sometimes gravitating forces draw together, and a rich exchange on a common course form centres of attention, new planets and moon in the sky of the heart, filling it with gratefulness. of some small talk , or if resonances come from the depth of an opening trust 11 July 09

Sometimes I'm surprised and cultivated the grounds how difficult it is until single blossoms show up to become a present. and much later the sprouts I cannot buy myself which want to develop and give me to you as a dead gift. into future trees, so that some day Is what I want to give from me they can pass on what you need? their fruits of life I have received so many gifts and give away nourishment which have fallen as hidden seeds and joy? into my soil My present for You and slumbered there is for you, for a long time a thanks for the gifts. before a sprout begins to move and subtly takes roots and slowly grows up. How many seeds have you sown, seemingly useless, 12 July 09

Contours of Encounters Shades of Yous – 3 Chronological continuation 25 poems before and during a journey in Cancer/Leo 09 13 July – 08 August 09

Where will the path often just a cloud or a bend It is good lead me today? veils the view, to have an expert guide Questioning I stand at the threshold but nearness nevertheless survives. whose guiding hand of a new morning. The community of the ones the direction striving for the same goal and sees gives protection and strength that the group of wanderers in dangerous times. stays together and For all of a sudden the way always keeps an eye may lead through terrain on the goal. Each day opens itself, related to the previous one and embedded in old tracks but always new wayfarers are waiting, and also the seemingly old travel companions and chasms open up beside him, of uncertainty, irritation or enter daily into a new landscape poisonous clouds of fear, where the sceneries are constantly changing. against fatigue Often a friend seems to hurry on ahead or to fall behind or take to another path and skims away, mostly unnoticed, or of a fight and weaknesses and dangers of the body. gives strength and shows 13 July 09

I am sitting at the river which for a long time of day-to-day life I didn't want to let into me. with a sieve in my hand, There has to be joy, washing the sand passing by, I said to myself. on the lookout for And nevertheless. the rare nuggets of gold, I learn to listen to it, not for me admit it into me but for the image of You and, through the sounds, on the altar of my heart. to arrive at the dark mines, Gold from gold - where the pure, radiant ore Through the subtle forms is in rich abundance, your Light, Beauty and Love richer than radiate, for which I yearn the individual grains when they start resonating in the river. through you in me The directions from where and I also begin to see them the sudden, rich wind in other yous, in the experience of encounter. blows away the dark clouds Often it is just like a distant memory of some promising future fulfilment, and I wait, and wait are unforeseen and the deep blue which always has been there radiates completely new. with a silent sad melody, 14 July 09

The fiery lightning The apparent low current has to be slowed down of rhythmic continuity to a warm flame keeps up the pace which burns reliably and also gives you with which the stony path is mastered. strengthening solace The sublime food which the current of life needs of the bright flame has to be kept in a solid jar, even when cold winds blow and when a feeling of abandonment so that it doesn't trickle off menaces to choke the breath. I love the ray High tension is difficult to handle on the top of the mountain and needs particular vigilance which you hold in your hand, not to burn up you and me for its shine is also or to cause irritations from the one spring. into the dust of day-to-day life. but also the small flickering light with the fall from the peak. 15 July 09

For many years and they too fell away, the sensation like a fall of the Gods, of not wanting to drown and their old worshippers in the oblivion stayed behind, and the pressure of the daily routine accompanied me. whereas I, thirsting, I saw drowning people, I knew, the goal must be there as well as friends but I didn't find the key to me. who wanted to reach the sky Only when your warm smile but, like Icarus, looked at me and saw came too near to the Sun deep through all layers till the ground and fell. I found the ground It seemed to be hopeless continued on the road. which offered me a solid stand to find the middle path, and the security of comfort. and I went through extremes My thirst was quenched, and again and through you Chintamani, I found in me the Treasure of the World, the middle path through the gates seemed to be lying before me, which led me to me but it was only a delusion. into the awareness of being. The Fata Morgana which I worshipped turned to grimaces 16 July 09

I didn't have time to answer you, like the summer flower, you said. full of beauty. May it be so. Blossoms of heartbeat. Time is a precious treasure No time? Wherefore which directs attention no time? And where and the emphasis of the rhythms is the leak in one's awareness. through which it Time I don't have but melts away into the sand I am, a gift into the time without watering which I can take thirsty roots? for what is dear to my heart. We live in a time of wasteland, Time, rhythm and structure where the heat of driving action are a magical fabric, desiccates and there is a famine ingredients of a for attention and precious meal time for each other. which, prepared tasty, The inner source lives, I take as nourishment and a deeper spring and also give you makes the refreshing water with love as a dish. well up It fragrances, and its like a fountain of joy. aromatic fullness radiates, 17 September 09

Vibrating cooperation which uplifts people lives from the joint to their be-ness rhythmic heartbeat of in being together, team play, and which shows others opens the heart for each other a silent ideal, and the service a vision of future brotherhood, which, jointly done, a stronghold in dangerous times, multiplies through the of friends magic of radiant work. whose strength is not weapons It is an interplay of forces but joy, inspired by sublime sources, not money which hands its gift to the humans. but unison A wonder of accord, in fulfilment. in which the musicians learn to tune their instruments 18 July 09 and, playing in concert, to spread a magic in shared being,

While talking with you when will and wisdom married about the keys of stars lead to right action. your intuition opened Their marriage is healing deep sights into vastnesses and liberates my stars of karmic functioning to higher pathways, and back, through the veil and the tender light of their smile of death and birth, radiates to me from your eyes' to imprints, where themes silent hints wait in the Now from out of the depth to be picked up and of the inner space. worked out. Now we can evoke the will with a clearer understanding and set the course for brighter paths. The burdens of earlier ignorance, having created the biases and the not-wanting, begin to fall off from us, 19 July 09

When yesterday we drove with you In some places heaviness weights and who, with its force, into the city, over the streets, and suspicions conduct the new buoyancies you told us of past violence, into life. that the sight of the houses and palaces and you showed us Old traces of magical practice makes rise in you alleys and subterranean hallways decorate walls of old houses images of sunk times which had been prisons. as dead symbols. and how layers over layers And the life above The new signs are still waiting of bygone experiencing unconsciously feels the misery, outside the gates. wave towards you a fugacious whiff. even if the contemporaries Over the countryside, however, The city is like a charged space imagine to no more remember and in the more subtle worlds of then living life, the old encumbrances. which puts a veil of often dark events It needs a powerful wind the powers of a freer, lighter time over the area to dissipate the dark clouds, and where the old building and it needs people They turn the wheel jut out like signs who invoke it into themselves to brighter times. gather the children of Uranus. from out of the seemingly forgotten ocean. Brussels, 20 July 09

The encounters of a day The encounter by the look are like a hike through the portal of the eyes many worlds of biographies, lets the messages of experiencing which briefly touch in space and time, whose touches, however, only receive their meaning in the sphere of mutual connections. Is the fleeting encounter just a passing-by Hello or a reunion which strengthens profound ties still deeper, or even an alliance for a plan of joint action, or a warm exchange between travellers, who move in the same stream through different currents on the way to the same goal? flash over within seconds. Manifold messengers of moods resound through space, of questions and joy, of affliction. Their reverberation expands to the billboards of memories, up to the horizons of the background, as a new note in the choir of life essences, distillate of the Quinta Essentia. 21 July 09

Cordiality Its distant murmur is a warm giving and taking of makes me walk on, and, mindful presence for each other. like after a bent of the alley The cordial attention can grow, the river emerges again when the ring-pass-not of the heart as if without interruption. expands and grows I love its flow. towards the horizon. It is time of fullness now. It is a movement towards convergence in non-judgemental devotion, which grows through the interaction of radiation and continues to run if I am connected with the source of the flow. At times the stream seems to dry up, and also the backflow runs dry. But it continues to flow through subterranean dykes. 22 July 09

You are fascinated by doing magical things The charm of the higher magic of the soul in the awareness of the Divine. and the charm of secret doing is beneficial for the shadows Premature horses draws you into fields of experience of age-old fears, which are familiar to you and the flute of Krishna are difficult to rein back from olden times, and where, is more powerful than as you said, and easily let themselves the power over subtle threads of destiny to be guided by the spirits of elements, prepare the way. fodder of Amrita, holy nectar of Gods, It seems as if it were provisioned worldly experience. is more enchanting than to walk dangerous paths Their reins need shamanic drugs. but you are free a strong driver, But to consecrate your freedom it needs the courage May you hand them over to higher goals of humility to Him. and consciously renounce to trespass. to put yourself You are free not to follow a call of dark tracks you have toed earlier but which today you can leave again voluntarily. on the altar of transformation and to be prepared for the inner alchemy, not by doing but by being 23 July 09

At several friends' places Even though sometimes I encountered your traces they were not appropriate in the form of a book. I henceforth trusted them more Years ago our paths crossed - than the blind voices intense talks, warm exchanges. even disguising themselves But then the view of the goal as coming from lofty sources. separated us. We did no longer trust each other, I was convinced of my paths and also the gurus divided us. and you of your Much time has elapsed, and forms of worship my paths have become broader. and the inner voices guiding you. Did yours also widen? And the image of the one I feel a connectedness whom we had worshipped together beyond the concepts and views, fell from my altar. a stream of love, Even before my voices which unites and merges. had turned to be deceivers and I had closed their doors and put a guard in front with the weapons of discrimination. 24 July 09

You are standing at the threshold of transition and have nearly completed the circle of life. Even though they are slowly sinking memories surface from far back and the rich experiences have drawn cheerful serenity In the fabric of fate you have interwoven the threads to a home in you heart, a place of togetherness. The call from beyond is getting louder, and soon you will set out with joy into your face. to cross the bridge between the worlds, From out of your eyes weaving connections. the radiance of the light shines forth No farewell, but penetrating which your life has kept following. to greater circles. A glow of stardust lies on your path. Heaviness you transformed with devotion into the steps of the path. Friendships did not cloud the view onto darkness and light, shadows as well as faithful ties. 25 July 09 A meeting with an old friend, three weeks before her passing

Although you walked Although our paths a longer distance on your path, probably won't cross again our stretches of road often run in these body garments, very close without touching, we know of each other we heard from each other and of the power and felt contacts which travelling together bestows without meeting, except a short encounter on the way years ago. The encounter with you was like a reunion with an old companion, an exchange of joy and which strengthens the community of comrades treading together and which makes the light above the distant horizon shine brighter. and pictures of recollections, a warming fire of consonance of fiery aspiration, which sounds in me a profound reverberation of friendship. 26 July 09, Hamburg

Groups, too, have life-cycles, Help comes from above, they can moult and, the guiding light, in a new form, if we permit its entry let the life-force ascend to awaken to the power. to its goal of mergence Then it is not we who shed off the old skin of heaven and earth. Winged serpents are rare but the music of the soul slowly makes sprout the impulse to rise or puts seeds of future wings into the eggs. but it falls off, when the stream of electric flow carries us upwards, together with those who equally hatch in the change of forms Times of transition however and rise to fly into the vast expanses of blue. are difficult, From there dewdrops fall and when the old skin into the grass threatens to become too narrow, as nourishing nectar it is dangerous wanting to remain for those searching for it. in it out of fear of the nakedness after hatching out. 27 July 09

Your life breathes an irrepressible urge for freedom of limiting forms, for opening the portals towards new spheres of spiritual life, where exotic flowers of experience unfold their full fragrances - no fenced-in garden but a colourful meadow. You follow a star with firmness, Structure which threatens to crystallize in size is suspect to you. For you want the vastness which is calling beyond the horizon from out of cosmic depths of unison of worlds of stars. May your star lighten the path for seekers as a free wanderer, as a soft shine from distant heights together with others and through your heart but at the same time alone. provide them a space The teachings of life and warm them. with their challenging tensions you tried to connect with thoughts and at the same time dissolved the bonds again and again so as not to get enmeshed in them, not to get your fire extinguished by them. 28 July 09

In the silence of dawn, The quiet dynamism of meditation where the tender rays of the New unfold, lifts up the pulse of my life I feel in me the kaleidoscope of the images and moods of the passing-by not as passed-by but like one of the pastel coloured clouds above the trees which colour my sky with tones of moods and where I sort out in me what is my own clear space and what gets filled by the passing of fragrances and colours of foreign experience, a reflection, glittering in the dew pearl of the morning leaf. through its rhythm like a soft breeze into the vastnesses of the inner firmament, filled with the stars of my constellations. And like the sun rising in the warm gold of this summer morning shines through the leaves, the directions of the unfolding course of time silently herald in space. 29 July 09

The wanderers I met The third ones also spoke They no longer had any conflict carried wounds about pains and struggles with life and with others. hidden under their garments but in them the fire Their cheerfulness of struggles and crises, which the teacher ignited sounded a gentle music; of disappointments and was burning with a bright flame its melody also sings and gave them the strength in my heart. rigours of the path. Some gainsaid them, others put balm on them, and still others took them as gifts. The first ones strove to appear as if nothing could affect them but they concealed in them to walk on with joy in the heart. The fire had cleansed the wounds and out of live coals had formed diamonds, fear of failure. which radiated out of their eyes The second ones complained like sparkling stars. of injustices and envy of others. In some of them They nurtured in themselves the pains had not yet died away bitterness and frustration, but of the ember practiced rigour they had gained also towards others. an essence of serenity which nourished them with gratitude, humility and acceptance of the fruits. 30 July 09

I feel again the pain But when the healing rays of old wounds of the sun cast their shine behind dense mental shells, even into the dark fountain guarded by guardians and the cold stone of the threshold. receives the tender touch, The fear of one's own dark side the atoms in it start to vibrate faster, seals the access and puts a taboo of touch around the proximity of silently festering injuries. They are like a curse whose whiff of scent connects the ones silently bound in antipathic repulsion, karmic burden of unreleased experience of dark suffering. and warmth is released in the depth. Silently love sprouts which melts the sharp tips of judging thoughts and thus the wounds start to heal. From afar a healing melody rings over to me, the enchanted sound of His flute. 31 July 09

How can I be When I let go of my own judging completely open to those the entering germs can unfold whom I encounter and let their seed sprout. and yet not lose myself in them, And often light falls down from above, not let myself be deceived and its ray unveils by what is being shown, uttered what remained hidden to the fugitive eye. or brought to my attention I am, and thus I step into relation as opinions about others? to what comes to me. There are many voices And it puts down its veils and moods coming, and shows itself naked. glittering on the surface And as the wind of oblivion of changing forms. blows away the dust, Other melodies keep on resounding the lasting contours of precious treasures and evoke in me their echo. The reverberation show up, bestowing me the life through encounters. carries a trace from the origins, for before the sound falls silent, it gives itself into the silent depth from out of which emerge structures of the qualities of the experience. 01 August 09

A strange touch but its language of an impression upon awakening made your behaviour made me perceive a part of like in a bright light hidden sorrow in you and revealed with a certitude my judgement that joyful-forgiving comprehension as wrong. closed a wound which was burning in me for a long time. The impression was unexpected, clear to me Even though the confirmation might stay away nevertheless the messenger has brought peace and silent relief. without the messenger of an outer word, transmitting the atrocity of a violation which might have happened to you a long time ago, about which you didn't speak 02 August 09

At times I feel a secret joy Silent words also to put little bombs open rusty locks, with silent words and deeds, and a soul frozen in a prison bombs that don't hurt comes forth but quietly shatter walls and wounds start healing. which restrain the free flow of energy It is a silent work, or which It happens more by non-doing break the protective barriers than by doing, around injuries. by letting go, allowing. They are love bombs, and often And then I silently return I tremble with excitement to myself. brief, quick and secret. when gently, seemingly casually the fuse of a word starts burning in the powder keg. It burns slowly, sometimes over a long period. No loud explosion resounds but a movement in slow motion though with the power of a detonation. 03 August 09

I encountered the signs of your action in the hearts of people. At all places of the journey they were striving along the trace of light which you have drawn and linked with the original source. From the point of Light the light streams forth into their lives and the life radiates with the pulse of your heart, connecting, uniting, merging, penetrating. 08 August 09

You cross the veils Through the open window, between the worlds the fragrance and lifted some for me of spring flowers entered for a deeper understanding. and spread its gentle breeze Images appeared into the blue expanse of fateful encounters of my heart. which created connections and knots, and interweaved threads the fibres of which reach over into the tissue of today as attitudes and moods, constellations of encounters with other Yous carrying wide roots. In freedom we severed strings of binding oaths and cut loose the fetters of dark conduct. 06 August 09

You showed us the worlds Cooled-down dolour which your eye beheld cries for redemption and which you captured out of shivery vastnesses, into form with great struggle, for the warming touch of hearts, into images and sculptures. Magic worlds of distant countries arose. by which the congealed crystal Inner spaces radiated and lets the imprisoned spirit with numberless facets penetrate to the fiery core, beauty and yearning, which gives warmth and faces full of wisdom and condolement, secures you into the security cracks of the inner home. elegiacal fields of spirit-beings and of old symbols. Sounds resounded from out of deep fountains of unfulfilled urge, cried for redemption. Though the glow shone through the door, however, seemed like still closed in you. 06 August 09

Autumn Light under the Moon Node Shades of Yous – 4 Chronological continuation 20 plus 2 poems, an echo 15 August – 08 October 09

Like the tender rays slowly rise The light of the new path in the tender grey of the early dawn, comes in from over there from out of the inner of the background and lures the steps an urge sprouts towards outside, a faraway yearning for a silently waiting future of the awakened movement with the promise of a joyful rumour into a virgin world. of a greater vastness. The seed of will emerges and breaks the retained tranquillity, rises towards the searching unfoldment - whereto? 15 August 09

From where comes the distant sound to my ear? I listen to an inner melody which gently sweeps through my inner like a spring waft and like the ripples on the surface of water give rise in me to soft waves of joy without an outer reason. I direct this joy to the outside and let it silently pour into my conversation or my lines. And often an echo comes back from the mountains of other hearts and their tone joins the concert of my inner and I dance with joy before You. 19 August 09

Thresholds are crossed silently, And it was as if often without knowing through a crack in the wall which new world waits floods gushed forth, behind the gates. violently and impetuously Frequently you only see threshold rushing into the plane, when it is already crossed. Over the raging but silent In the silence of the morning echo of the flood suddenly an impulse surfaces a radiant sun rose from far back and the waters brought and for a moment a door reveals thirst-quenching gifts which I didn't see before to the ones waiting in the distance, and through which my word passed. and the wall yielded and broke. and also your heart And it was like an enormity, resounded beyond the pains like a small stone in a brighter joy, taken out of your dam. in the heart of the sun. I deeply felt your pain about the step into the country of a freer expanse but interwoven with some sadness. 20 August 09

Was it betrayal where you cannot retain the earth when I spoke words but can direct the flow which seemed to you like a dagger thrust? of fiery rocks of pain Or was it the loving hand of a surgeon of loving understanding. who began opening a festering wound Do you dare so that the poison of trapped pain to leave behind the fear of the eruption starts to flow and to give space in you and the wound, purged, for a wide opening, heals? so that also in the other You Poisonous wounds have partners, healing can happen? dig their suction cups armed with barbs Only courage to dare into other Yous, where mute suffering cries for deliverance and nevertheless with a seal of silence tries to suppress the cry. Subterranean explosions blaze trails to the surface like magma flows and discharge with the power of a liberating eruption, into the cooling ocean can open the way to healing, when the signs are correctly read. The reward is liberation from old burden, and the warming light which dissolves torpor also in your heart. 24 August 09

Towers collapse Dancing with firm steps when the time-soil the rhythm of the slowly lets of the unbridled change its eroding movements work. gives joy Even the plates of the continents when the hold dance on the fragile ground in the containing silence of the rhythmic movements is the anchorage of the Great Mother. and gives protection It is the love for the new life, in profound ground. which makes the old crumble to give way for virgin striving. But change hurts if we try to hold to the stones fallingdown or look for stability on a wavering ship at times of storm. But where shall I cast my anchor? How can I extend you a supporting hand, when dark clouds seem to hide for you the radiance of the Sun? 26 August 09

Unresolved thoughts, so that it doesn't get smashed held back and unrecognized at a rock in their haze of interweaving, and emotionally charged spray block the stream of life pressing doesn't block the vision. ahead During such passages like stones it needs extreme vigilance and form dangerous rapids and a steady eye of the helmsman which threaten to carry away who sees the shoals and, the swimmer of consciousness navigating with a firm hand draw him under water. The passage brings the boat closer to the next harbour, between Scylla and Charybdis 1 knowing the distant goal. is difficult and every word surfaces 29 August 09 like a vortex in the current through which the boat of the relieving idea has to navigate 1 Scylla, a sea monster of Greek mythology, lived on a rock near the Strait of Messina, opposite of its counterpart called Charybdis. Together they mark two inevitable, equally big evils. (Wikipedia)

A silent, joyful harmony Is it violence settles over the space which makes the kernel which enwraps the things with love break forth and lets them thrive, or love? strengthening them within themselves. The time shows the harvest Blessing swells like living water and the food the quality through the small crannies, of the fruit of ripening, which makes the hard shell the full flavour of sustenance. of the ego-cover break up Fullness out of fullness. and the sprouts spring up Thanksgiving. with young green. It is good to see the limiting hulls around the mature fruit pop up like the spiked shell breaks up which surrounds the chestnut and releases the shiny kernel. It needs maturity until the hull can open but even a small crack helps for the relieving opening. 02 September 09

The soft radiant glow of the full moon Even though the moonlight permeates the day. radiates its magic shine, The atmosphere is filled by the surge it is only received by the open heart it reflects for us from the sun which listens to the cycle of rhythm. and which my mirror Silently I prepare myself irradiates into my heart. to give access to the cosmic envoy The silent but powerful surge and openly stretch out my soul's hands rises the ship of my day, to receive the gift of Luna and even while I dive which carries music and star fire, through the vortexes of everyday life, enlivening my inner fire. the pulse beat of the great wave in secret presence remains my companion and a sparkling stone in the treasure of awareness. With a closed chest you don't sense the lively luminous crystal and don't see the messenger who wants to present you the fresh words of the month as a gift. 03 September 09

Who has called us? and to get involved with each other, That we are here together knowing about our abysses is a long, stony path and weaknesses. of experience, And to approach our attitudes has guided us through dangers, and even change ourselves and where wavering bridges to decide together, lead over chasms even on one's own paths created by distorting mirrors, to give access to the greater Will thoughts nurtured by hidden presumptions. as guiding principle and direction And there is an urge Not, it is not a wrong sacrifice which makes us walk on, of one's own a call of love, and pulse beat of our lives. but the power which nurtures the fire in us which arises out of the centre and propels us, and unites us a longing, a determination, and merges us in a greater vastness, a readiness, the origin of the New. a knowledge that we want to go together and want to go, and a joint will driving us to dare to open ourselves 05 September 09

Convulsions when even the fellow hikers open sealed chambers rejoice over the route for crises of transformation. and are prepared How difficult it is to take the load to let break open across several shoulders. old crusts of attitudes For in the community towards what we take as holy a greater power grows. and cautiously Even if everyone brings in a share, provide together space a higher order arranges the parts for a new, more human attitude! into the bigger picture, May pain be inflicted upon others which, unknown before, for what I consider for the Higher expresses the sublime beauty, in the name of the divine Plan? unveiling the great. Where does humanity count more? Difficult decisions can better be taken together, the burden can become lighter and a new joy can grow in the community, 07 September 09

Where does the struggle No, the Plan enters for the common path lead us ? into the open space We unite ourselves, between the hearts, not and the Greater Will because an outer leader tells us, is received in love this is the direction, and propels the wanderers or because a fellow wanderer on their way. mounts himself up And they share to be the leader of the community the bread of understanding but because a fire glows in the inner with each other which unites us in striving towards the goal and with everyone and where the proposal of the one who feels hungry after it and gratefully receives the food. who sees farther It is manna in the desert, arouses in each heart a delicious dish, the sound of unison and the drink and a common understanding awakens, comes out of the rock fountain, a greater brightness of awareness, fresh and clear in freedom and tastes of origin. and not in submission And, strengthened, the group proceeds, under someone who says, united on the way, I know the Plan, with the eye to the radiant sun I have received it and let's execute it, in the greater heart. come and help me. 08 September 09

Sometimes veils of exhaustion and your nearness awakens again cast themselves over the soul my determination and seem to choke the fire and arouses in me strength. and the smoke blurs the vision And I feel and goal is no more in sight. how my call reaches And my Yous seem to be far away, the ear of your soul no warming word, and strengthens the bond only a bleak wind blows of the community through tired streets so that at these severe times where people hide themselves out of the awareness of connectedness before each other we draw the strength from the and the activity runs on dead. union of all those But suddenly a silent cry striving towards the Light tears open the veil and follow its direction. and through the dense clouds a bright ray enters through the blue expanse into my heart and the look of the soul broadens far over the land, where I feel you friends, companions, 12 September 09

How can I follow Only an inkling all the rules of the path? that somewhere There are so many light might come again and I see makes me walk on. that they seem to crush me Lord, please help and in spite of my endeavour not to lose the way to you I don't meet them. in these rough times! They are like jealous guards, who search through every part of my body and whose exam I'm not able to withstand. Long years of striving generate despondency but I keep walking on, like staggering and always standing up again, swaying on. I often don't see any light at the end of the tunnel, it is eclipse. 15 September 09

New moon approaches silently - And from out of the pause, or is it an occultation? the inner, It falls off, it disappears, into which the outside turns itself it dissolves - something a new sprout germinates which I cannot exactly grasp, from out of the original centre. just like structures Just like the new awakening which seemed to support seems to be like the yesterday for a long time and nevertheless is not, suddenly decay, for the new moon of the sleep where forces of constellations made fade and emerge, lose their power my life also receives again where even a core dissipates a fresh impulse coreless into space, which leads on where I also don't find my centredness, into known-unknown my identity, as a gift where the ground yields of the certainty of existence. spring fields of experience and bogs down - whereto? Yes, even mountain ranges, continents, solid and big, have their new moon, and at times the great breath also breathes in our earth and pauses. 17 September 09, the day before New Moon

Pausing in the silence which make me feel unsecure which resounds after the sound - or even seem to bring a secret poison. from where comes the breeze of the New? At times between two flowers I haven't seen it arise alertness is important but suddenly it is there, and openness for the steps softly caressing my face slowly approaching, and sweet with for hands full of seeds, still unknown flowers of the day. for questions, I don't see their roots for new faces. but when they hold out to me The course through the day their light green leaves of experiences, is always full of change they are full of drive of unfoldment. above the ground of the From where comes their urge pulse of life flowing by, and whereto surges the fresh growth? which makes my steps dance ahead, I guess the direction, more and more. since the seed rests in my heart, but every flower of hour is full of surprise, and often their beauty irritates me. I see on the petals dangers and shapes against which I resist, New Moon, 18 September 09

Blessing comes unexpectedly, a joyful opening Away are the walls of narrow horizons, lifts burden from my shoulders, of confinement and suddenly my heart feels lighter. in separation and otherness. Warmth expands And like from out of with a sense of divine presence a fresh mountain spring giving the security I drink the joy of loving nearness and connection. and pass it on, All of a sudden dark thoughts with the blessing look of the sea full of dust of everyday life over the net of cordial relatedness are blown away and the feet no longer heavy from the mud of the field of work. Above me, space opens like a cone of vastness and grows and unfolds over the country and further on. The distant brothers are suddenly very close and I feel their hand near to mine and their clear look which opens soul-gates. and further, like waves expanding over the sea and further into the vastness. 19 September 09

It is getting silent in the inner. I let myself draw Leaves fall off by the pull of the ebb tide, and the life withdraws itself for it draws me into the sea, like the sap into the trunk the Mother, when it gets colder. from where in future high tide The bright colours of the foliage washes ashore new waves announce their near fall, from beyond the silence. and also intensely bright days of life already contain their near autumn time, 21 September 09 profundity, waiting. Where has gone the pulsating urge of life? All wanting towards outside seems to come to a standstill, appointments end, people withdraw, and I also feel the call from inside, louder than at times of the swift outer dance.

The protective membrane And openness brings the joy of individuality of expansion, saves from too early core-touch, where the shell before your centre is consolidated. becomes a radiant sheath Core-touch happens of diamond light in loving encounter of the inner sparks, which gives protection and refuge Scintillas 1, A coat of stardust which can unite to one flame, of the Great Mother light from the One Light. which holds and enwraps us all. also to others. Fear makes the flame flicker - the shell protects. 26 September 09 The Own is holy but often like locked in behind walls of bitter experiences of age-old lesions, of tentacles of unresolved biographies. The dormant urge to grow slowly strengthens the core. And ripening brings fearlessness and courage towards openness. 1 Scintilla: Latin: Sparks

Extremely dark times, And I feel where dejection and distress how it emanates call from several sides, and spreads healing, where my hydra raises its head soothing wounds, and menaces to bar my way. erecting, Threatening gestures inspiring, of unredeemed breakaway bringing a new day from the current of life. also for you. A rearing up, a dark mirroring of shady reflections - and then in the silence like a door opens and light enters, and it is like an awakening from out of a confused dream, where the wild chimeras of thoughts suddenly yield to the ray of morning light, as if they had never been. And the power of the Leading Hand, which seemed to have disappeared forever has again awakened in my heart, gives courage and confidence. 03 October 09

I hear - of years of striving, wild voices, of struggling for right understanding. enticing, seductive. And yet it is there, Like a mantra shred songs the warming light keep on resounding which flows into my heart through multi-channel amplified from beyond the silence, attention catchers, bright sounds of vast reaches and announcing promises of their short- freedom. term religion. And also the Ones who help us since long And then the massive planks to find the way out of the labyrinth, of the scaffoldings of values, succour us souls are hanging in them with silent-dynamic words of power, at walls like nets, giving courage, sticking at the bitter-sweet glue support, of empty promises of paradise putting balm for my wounds. paired with It is good to know of them fear traps of apprehensions. and to weather through the storm Is there no way out? together with you friends, Laments of hungry people helping the seeker, in front of the full pots silently passing on the joy. of the carousel of consumption. The nourishing food is deeper, hidden behind the shells of inner work, 07 October 09

The doors are closed again. It is rest time now. Time to silently grow and letting flourish the growth in the depth. It is good if at times the weapons lie dormant, if the wounds heal, if there is a distance to the places of battle - even if it has not yet finished for it is an eternal struggle. But now it is rest time, the doors of the words are closed for the moment. 08 October 09

P. S. 1: You have passed over the threshold, in silence but full of power, gentle and yet clear, like you have followed your way since long. The New is not foreign to you, for it is the homeland of your soul, the home which you carry inside like a radiant germ, and when you now drop your garments which enveloped the spark the light shines through you still brighter, fecundating the seeds which you have gathered with your hands to offer the fruits to the new life as sustenance for future wanderers. 15 August 09 For Tamara Pieper (29 March 1921 - 14 August 2009)

P. S. 2: Even though you know about the continuance of the souls, you are filled with the pain of farewell. During transition letting go is difficult for us who stay back and the yearning for reunion pierces through the heart. But in its centre is the door to the light, and the pulse of life carries the experience on. And if you deeply admit the mourning into yourself, up to the bottom, you feel how the foundations carry and how you, carried by life, can enter with firm steps into a new world of joy. 18 August 09

Ludger Philips: Shades of Yous 90 + 2 poems in 4 sections English translation by the author © 2014, Ludger Philips CH 3073 Gümligen BE Free electronic distribution info@ludgerphilips. org