Sex love and marriage Who am I and

Sex, love and marriage

Who am I and what kind of person do I want to become? Why do we study? To learn Inheriting knowledge and accomplishments of earlier generations Initiated into a tradition Learn the art of loving Learn the art of living a good life

A learner needs a teacher In the past parents knew more than their children and could teach them and advise them about the world Today children know more than their parents about technology etc. Everything is changing so what is the use of old-fashioned morality?

Do we have anything in common? We are all human beings We have similar emotions We grieve when a person we love dies We feel sympathy for a person who is grieving We want to be happy and live in peace

What makes us happy? Happiness comes when a desire is fulfilled Hungry man finds food -> happy Different levels of desire To live -> Physiological desires To be safe -> Desire to be safe To belong -> Desire for love and community To live a worthwhile life -> Desire for self-esteem To realise potential -> Desire for self-actualisation

Are all desires good? Excessive desire Premature desire Unrealistic desire Growing up involves understanding which desires are appropriate and which are not There are right and wrong ways to satisfy desires

How about sexual desire? If we don’t have sex will we die? Are there right and wrong about sex? Rape - universally condemned Incest - universal taboos Adultery - who wants? All societies have rules about who can have sex with whom, when and where Customs represent cumulative wisdom All teach wrong to have sex outside marriage

Are they all as good as each other? Polygamy versus monogamy Approximately same number of men and women -> not fair to have more than one Extenuating circumstances Monogamy better than polygamy Polgamy better than free sex

What is love? Love is unselfish desire for good of another person and unity with that person on some level

What are the qualities of true love? Unique Love a person as they are Absolute Wholeheartedly: intellect, emotion and will Unchanging Constant, stable Eternal ‘Till death us do part’ and beyond

What are the qualities of selfish love? Self-centred General Impure Changeable Temporary

How good am I at loving? Intensity - how strong Duration - how long Extent - how widely Purity - motivation Adequacy - how appropriate

What are the different kinds of love? Children’s love Filial piety Sibling, friendship Many is good Conjugal Unique Fidelity Parental Unconditional

What is sex?

Sex as gender All the traits, emotional, physical and mental that make a person masculine or feminine Men and women are different Men are from Mars Women are from Venus

Sex as union of the sexes Through the act of sexual intercourse a man and a woman become united into one They are joined into one on the physical, emotional and psychic levels. It is spiritual union as much as a physical one

Sexual love Sex should be an expression of love The greater the love, the greater the sex The deeper the love, the more satisfying the sex Sex without love leads to emptiness and is dehumanising

What is the difference between human beings and animals?

The sexual act compared Animals Mating season Reproduction is the whole meaning Mating rituals Uncontrollable drive Humans Sex all year Meaning beyond reproduction Sex pleasurable Sexual drive controllable

What is the meaning of sex? Deep personal encounter with another person Many different levels Way to express and receive love Mystical experience

What is the most appropriate relationship for sexual love?

Marriage A socially recognized lifelong union of a man and woman for love, companionship, mutual support procreation upbringing of children

So, what is marriage all about?

Aspects of marriage Social Couple Partnership Emotional Sustaining Healing Growth

Aspects of marriage Sexual - quality of sex depends on quality of love Affirmation of personhood Affirmation of sexual identity Reconciliation, healing Act of hope Expression of thanks

Aspects of marriage Intellectual Enjoy talking to each other Spiritual Faith Values

Why get married? Personal commitment Public commitment Joining of families Change of status Celebration Children

How about sex before marriage? Devalues self Devalues sex Break ups Stds Unwanted pregnacy

Why wait? Practice self-control Have self respect Time and place Beautiful and meaningful