Session 12 Revising Conducting the Rhythm of LanguageCreating

Session 12 -(Revising) Conducting the Rhythm of Language-Creating Cadence and Meaning through Syntax � Listen to two songs and as you listen jot in your notebook: • Things you notice (the rhythm differences in each song) • The effects the music has on you (not just that you don’t like them!) The Fox At Last ***Turn and Talk!

Today’s Teaching Point �Today I’m going to teach you that sentences are the instruments of writing. Different types of sentences create different kinds of sounds and bring in different kinds of meaning. Writers can affect the rhythm and meaning of their stories by crafting sentences of different lengths and types.

Sentence Length, Rhythm and Meaning � � Just like when you were listening to music a minute ago, and you noticed different effects each rhythm had on you and how the speed of the beats and the tone of each song affected your mood, writing can do that too! Sentences (varied length) play a role in the sound-cadence-of your piece and convey and effect (mood or meaning) Short sentences read quickly. When you use a bunch together the piece moves faster. This could be used to build suspense or tension. Longer sentences read slowly. This allows the reader to gather more information through complex descriptions. They are also used to slow down the action (the exciting part)

Experiment Time! James climbed up onto the table and started to make his way to the step stool. -Lots of information here-slows down the action- I want to be clear that in one quick motion, James climbedwithout thinking. James clambered onto the table. He jumped onto the stool. It wobbled. He shimmied. Then he went for it. He reached for the chandelier. -Reads much faster -We see how impulsive he is -Climbed was replaced with clambered (brings out his jerky, clumsy action)

Your turn… �Find a place in your draft where you want the action to move a little faster, or for it to be a little jerkier �Locate that section and write a shorter version of it, or break it down into a few shorter sentences in your notebook.

Experimenting More! Extending a section for craft and meaning • Descriptive parts • Passages with lots of information • When the reader needs to slow down (important partwhere the reader needs to pay attention) I looked around the room. It had a bed and a dresser. There was a bean bag chair in the corner. “Have a seat, ” Maeve said. Liz was spread out on the bed. -Fine, but not in great detail-shows the room is fancy I looked around the room, trying not to stare too long at any one thing. It was decorated exactly the way you might expect a girl like Maeve’s room to be decorated. It had a huge white bed, covered in tons of pillows of different shapes and sizes, and there was a tall, ornately carved dresser, that looked like it might have been an antique. -added phrases and clauses -drawing us into the room -makes you feel uncomfortable and out of place, like Esmeralda would �

Your Turn… �Select another section of your draft that you need to add details to, slow down the rhythm of �In your Google Doc, re-write that section making it longer and more detailed. �Try adding compound sentences! �Add phrases (I sighed. )

How to Write Compelling Fiction �Listen to the rhythm and pacing of your sentences, then craft sentences of varying lengths and types to create the intended meaning, feeling and mood.

Work Time! �Use what we just discussed to revise your story on your Google Doc. • Read the rest of your story and look for parts we can shorten and lengthen • Read any comments I’ve left you and make corrections as needed �For homework tonight: • Read your SSR book for 15 -20 minutes tonight paying special attention to the parts you like (What did the author do? )