SelfEvaluation Theory Barriers Challenges to SelfEsteem Week Three

Self-Evaluation Theory; Barriers & Challenges to Self-Esteem Week Three

Quote from Branden “We are the one species that can formulate a vision of what values are worth pursuing— and then pursue the opposite” ~ Branden, page 31

Agenda • Self-Evaluation Theory • Branden’s concepts of The Illusion of Self-Esteem &The Practice of Personal Integrity • Barriers and Challenges to Self Esteem – Shame – Pessimism – The Mis-Direction of Personal Power – Procrastination

Self-Evaluation Theory Point to ponder “Life can only be understood backwards, but has to be lived forwards”

Self-Evaluation Theory by Swiss Agency for Development & Cooperation • Motives for self-evaluation – Motives from the past can be good or bad experiences which we want to repeat or avoid – Motives out of the present can be latent frustration, a situation of acute crisis and need to optimize which drives us to action – Motives from the future are wishes, visions and hopes.

Self-Evaluation Theory

Self-Evaluation Maintenance by Abraham Tesser • Proposes that self-opinion (i. e. , selfevaluation) is affected by the social comparison process • When we compare ourselves to another, our reactions are based on three important pieces of information: – an interaction with another – the importance of the activity to our selfconcept, and – the type of relationship we share with the other.

Self-Evaluation Maintenance • When we compare ourselves to others, we do so to: – seek knowledge about ourselves, regardless of the type of information (positive or negative) – seek positive information about ourselves, to enhance our selfopinions, and – seek somewhat obvious information, to verify our self-view.

The Harris Self-Evaluation Maintenance Ladder • The professor’s visual model for demonstrating the relative gain or loss of self-esteem based upon Tesser’s concepts of Social comparison: – Relationship Influence Value – Esteem of Other – Value of activity – Value of performance

A B C

A B C

C B A

C A B

Review of Branden’s Views on Barriers & Challenges to SE • Chapter 4 “The Illusion of Self-Esteem • Chapter 11 “The Practice of Personal Integrity”

The Illusion of Self-Esteem • When SE is low, we are often manipulated by fear – Fear of reality, to which we feel inadequate – Fear of facts that we have denied, about ourselves or others – Fear of the collapse of our “mask” – Fear of exposure – Fear of the humiliation of failure or the responsibilities of success • We live more to avoid pain than to experience joy • Irrational belief that reality is the enemy of our SE.

The Illusion of Self-Esteem • Our SE level doesn’t determine our ability to think, but SE affects our “emotional incentives” • Our feelings tend to encourage or discourage thinking • That is why the first steps in building SE can be difficult: – We are challenged to raise the level of our consciousness in the face of emotional resistance • The key factor that stands in our way to act contrary to our negative self-image is our resignation to our own “state of worth” – We tell ourselves we are powerless

The Illusion of Self-Esteem • Poor SE not only inhibits thought, it tends to distort it • Low SE draws conclusions, not to the most logical explanation of our behaviors, but to the most damaging • If we are confronted with unjust accusations from others, we may feel disarmed and incapable of refuting their claims

The Illusion of Self-Esteem • Low SE – Dreads the unknown and unfamiliar – Avoids challenges – Looks for chance to be held free from blame • High SE – Seeks new frontiers – Desires and needs challenges – Looks for opportunities to admire

The Illusion of Self-Esteem • Pseudo Self-Esteem – The illusion of self-efficacy & self-respect without the reality – Non-rational and self-protective device to diminish anxiety and give false sense of security – Seeks SE through: • Popularity – Certainly it is wiser to seek companions who are the friends of our SE rather than its enemies – Nurturing relationships are obviously preferable to toxic ones • material acquisitions • sexual exploits – Fear of being exposed as an imposter – Approval addict

The Practice of Personal Integrity • Integrity requires congruency – For instance, when our ideals and practices match • If my actions clash with my expressed values, then I act against my judgment, I betray my mind • When a breach of integrity wounds SE, only the practice of integrity can heal it

The Practice of Personal Integrity • Guilt – Guilt is moral self-rebuke – Self blame may reduce the sense of impotence in the face of events outside of our control

The Practice of Personal Integrity • Five steps to restore integrity 1. We must own, accept and take responsibility for the fact that it was our own behavior that lacked integrity 2. We seek to understand why we did what we did 3. We acknowledge explicitly the harm we have done 4. We make any and all actions available that might make amends for the harm done 5. We firmly commit ourselves to behaving differently in the future

Barriers to Self-Esteem by Channing Grigsby • • • Intellectualizing Reality Distortion Dishonesty Sabotage Impatience Escape/Fantasy Control/Fixing Others Saturation Otheration Sense of Defeat Negative Focus Pseudo-work. http: //www. getnewvisions. com/se/09 crse_barriers. html#7

Common Psychological (false-self) Wounds by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW Growing up in a low-nurturance childhood seems to promote two or more of these: 1. False-self control – distrust of your true Self. This causes a mix of. . . 2. Excessive shame and guilt, and. . . 3. Excessive fears, and 4. Significant reality distortions, and. . . 5. Trusting too easily or distrusting “everyone” These five wounds can combine to cause. . . – Difficulty feeling and bonding (attaching to / caring about / loving) other living things. http: //sfhelp. org/gwc/guide 1. htm

Shame Report Card Guilt • appropriate consequence of single mistake at one point in time – My choices were bad Shame • inherited guilt – All of me is bad • Shame-based families over-value others’ worth, while heavily discounting one’s own worth

Shame Report Card School report card Shame report card • • • A = if others are failing, then they are Excellent • B = Above average • C = Average • D = Below Average • F = if you aren’t excelling, then you are a Failure A = Excellent B = Above average C = Average D = Below Average F = Failure Goal = help clients build back B, C and D into their self-evaluation skills

Life Orientation Test by Scheier, Carver & Bridges Those with high optimism reported Those with high pessimism reported • • • high levels of career planning and exploration, were more confident about their career decisions, and had more career related goals. reported high levels of selfesteem and Reported low levels of psychological distress • • low levels of career and decision making knowledge, were more career indecisive and reported low levels of school achievement. reported low levels of selfesteem and Reported more psychological distress.

The Mis-Direction of Personal Power The Personal Power Grid © Scott & Jaffe

The Re-Direction of Personal Power The Personal Power Grid © Scott & Jaffe

Denial as a Barrier to Self-Esteem • Distorts reality • Suspends consciousness • Leads to inaction • Denies the self • Branden: “Self-chosen blindness does not make the unreal or the real unreal”

The Seven Styles of Procrastination • • Perfectionism Fantasizing Fear Crisis Maker Anger Over-Doers Pleasure Seeker. © http: //www. employer-employee. com/procrastination. html “Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there” -Will Rogers