Self Discovery Search your self Self i m

Self Discovery = Search your self Self = i ’m Discovery = re search

• Self-concept: Picture or perception of ourselves • Self Esteem: Feelings we have about ourselves • Self-image: The way we would like to be

Self-Concept Circle 1. The person I 2. think I am. 3. 2. The person others 4. My Actions As I See Myself As Others See Me Other’s Reactions to Me think I am. 5. 3. The person others think 6. I think I am.

SELF ACTUALISATION Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs

Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence • Self-Esteem: “What am I worth? ” • Self-Confidence: “What can I do? ”

Self-Esteem • Watch your thoughts, they become words • Watch your words; they become actions • Watch your actions they become habits • Watch your habits; they become character • Watch your character, it becomes your destiny

Tips for building Self Esteem v v v Think positively , Set and achieve goals Do something challenging each day Look your best and Learn a new skill Do something for someone else Handle things one at a time Use criticism constructively Allow personal growth time each day Do not say negative about yourself Reward yourself often List your accomplishments each evening Volunteer to share your skills with others

Change the bad Appreciate life Leader to others Good Self Esteem Willing to try new things Believes in self Accept failure Doesn’t submit to peer pressure Is not a threat to others

Effects of High Self-Esteem v. Like to meet new people. v. Don’t worry about how others will judge them. v. Courage to express themselves. v. Enriched with new encounters v. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. v. Focus on your positive attributes. v. Follow the example of successful people. v. Become a self talker

Self-Esteem Illustration

Life Positions I’M NOT OK • YOU’RE OK I’M OK • YOU’RE NOT OK. I’M NOT OK • YOU’RE NOT OK I’M OK • YOU’RE OK

I AM OK, YOU ARE NOT OK • Attitude - i am always right • Generally operates from high critical parent and rebellious child ego states

I AM NOT OK, YOU ARE OK. • Quite submissive • Less innovative • Lacks risk taking responsibilities • Operates mostly from compliant child ego

I AM NOT O. K, YOU ARE NOT O. K • Most destructive life position • Very low ‘Adult Ego’ • Helpless, Depressed, Miserable, Suicidal, Lack of Confidence • Do not trust others

I AM OK, YOU ARE OK • High Emotional Intelligence (EQ) most healthy life position • Express confidence in self and trust in others

Life Positions Ways to Change Your self 1. Re-evaluating Your Basic Life Position. 2. Using Positive Reinforcement. 3. Managing Your Stamp Collection.

Life Positions Clues To Life Positions Can You Give Strokes Gracefully? Ability to give compliments easily. Ability to listen to others. Ability to accept other views. Ability to treat others with respect.

Life Positions Clues To Life Positions Physical Positions Shows confidence or compulsion. Relaxed or tense. Comfortable or ill at ease. Smiling or hard, sold look. Good posture vs slouching.

Life Positions I’m OK rk You’re Not OK Je er s o L r e n in W r e k l u S I’m Not OK

Choosing Your Life Position I’M NOT OK • YOU’RE OK I’M OK • YOU’RE NOT OK. I’M NOT OK • YOU’RE NOT OK I’M OK • YOU’RE OK

Transactional Analysis A method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics. The three EGO states – Parent • Critical parent • Sympathetic parent – Child • Natural child • Adapted child – Adult • Complementary • Crossed • Ulterior

Transactional Analysis • Complementary transaction P Supervisor A C P A Supervisor C Employee P A C

Transactional Analysis • Crossed transaction P Supervisor A C P A Supervisor C Employee P A C

Transactional Analysis • Ulterior transaction P Supervisor A C P A Supervisor C Employee P A C

Attitude toward Oneself Life Positions Positive I’m OK — You’re not OK Negative I’m not OK — You’re not OK Positive I’m OK — You’re OK I’m not OK — You’re OK Negative Attitude toward Others

Change is hard!

Change “Any attempt to impose your will on another is an act of violence. ”

• Emphasize your strengths. • Change what can be changed. • Try new experience

Stages for Change Violence Up Talk Body Talk Feelings What Happened Before Values Attitudes Beliefs

CHANGE FOCUS, LOOK FOR THE POSITIVE ü Look for what is right in a person ü Be an Optimist

Self Image • How you see yourself in your own eyes • Self image determines what you get out of life • Self image is the standing point of your life experience.

Building positive self Image. • Like your self • Trust your self • Have SWOT Analysis (Self awareness) • Accept your weakness and try to Rectify • Set your Goals high (Always think Big)

Building positive self Image. • Visualize your goals • Translate your goals into Actions • Challenge the Failures • Perspire…. Persevere… till you reach the goals • Celebrate your success.

Always think Big. Think beyond yourself Think beyond your Family Think I can. . I will. . I must. . .

• Accept yourself: Stop worrying about the things you can’t change. • Try not to compare with others. • Judge yourself in terms of your own growth

You become which you think about most.

No one can Make you feel inferior Without your Consent

Who has contributed to your self esteem?

Types of people • People who make things happen. • People who watch what is happening. • People who don’t know what is happening.

People who make things happen Players Proactive

Assertiveness Confirming confidently, positively. To defend one’s rights or opinions, sometimes with unnecessary zeal. Chambers Dictionary • • • “I won’t be able to handle it. ” Others’ decisions Others’ attitudes Lack of self-belief Lack of clear intentions - FEAR

Grounding v Steady v Reliable and dependable v Do one thing at a time. v Get information from sight, sound, touch and taste. v Focused on the “here” and the “now”. v Organized. v Get the work done.

v Future focused - Visionary. Creative v Multi-task. v “Go with the flow” attitude. v What if, Why not? v Dislike “status quo”. v Great problem-solvers. v Work “outside of the box”. v Make decisions based on intuition.

Logic v If “A”, then “B”. v Quantitative thinker v Likes data, statistics, numbers and graphs. v Focuses on the “past”. v The more details-the better. v Test to determine what is next. v Set goals and measure progress.

High Grounding / Creative / Logic • Study habits • Communication & listening • Work behavior • Motivations • Stressors

Creative Logic Grounding

Be A Winner In Life Choose. . . I’M OK • YOU’RE OK!