Revising Sentences for Order Weak Endings Embedded Phrases

Revising Sentences for Order Ø Ø Weak Endings Embedded Phrases Weak Sentence Openers Passive Voice Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Understanding Emphasis Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Endings The information provided in the report suggesting the cause of the crash was due to mechanical failure is not persuasive for the most part. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Endings For the most part, the information provided in the report suggesting the cause of the crash was due to mechanical failure is not persuasive. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Endings An explanation of atmospheric stability and a detailed evaluation of its application to this air quality evaluation is contained in Appendix A. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Endings Appendix A contains an explanation of atmospheric stability and a detailed evaluation of its application to this air quality evaluation. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Endings The department had made a series of requests in their letters of 15 February, 20 February, and 27 February 1999. The departmental requests may be listed as follows: Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Endings In their letters of 15, 20, and 27 February 1999, the department made a series of requests: Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Embedded Phrases Engineers, because they inadvertently write in ways that, all too often, use technical jargon, lengthy noun strings, and the passive voice, have difficulty communicating with nonspecialists. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Embedded Phrases Because they inadvertently write in ways that often use technical jargon, lengthy noun strings, and the passive voice, engineers have difficulty communicating with nonspecialists. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Embedded Phrases This practice, while satisfying the client on whose project we are working, leads to several of our other clients’ needs not being met. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Embedded Phrases While satisfying the client on whose project we are working, this practice leads to several of our other clients’ needs not being met. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Embedded Phrases The bipolar junction transistor, a three terminal solid state device, which is often referred to simply as "the transistor, " is widely used in discrete circuits as well as in integrated circuits, both analog and digital, since the device's performance is remarkably predictable and quite insensitive to variations in device parameters. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Embedded Phrases The bipolar junction transition is a three-terminal solid-state device which is often referred to simply as "the transistor. " As its performance is remarkably predictable and quite insensitive to variations in device parameters, this transistor is widely used in discrete and integrated circuits, both analog and digital. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Embedded Phrases For inversion cases, the dispersion models [Figure 3 and Figure 4 were placed here] do not incorporate mixing height into E and F stability (e. g. , inversion) ambient air quality predictions. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Embedded Phrases [Place Figure 3 and Figure 4 here] For inversion cases, the dispersion models do not incorporate mixing height into E and F stability (e. g. , inversion) ambient air quality predictions. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers There are many aspects of the problem that have not yet been considered. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers Many aspects of the problem have not yet been considered. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers There are several problems that are caused by the slow response. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers Several problems are caused by the slow response. Or better yet The slow response causes several problems. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers It is considered that implementation of a range of measures should lead to a reduction of the emissions. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers Implementation of a range of measures should lead to a reduction of the emissions. Or better yet Implementing a range of measures should reduce emissions. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers It is clear that the kiln contributes to the problem. It is probable that we should measure the wind characteristics at the site. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers Clearly, the kiln contributes to the problem. Probably, we should measure the wind characteristics at the site. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers It is our understanding that the clarifier does not form a direct part of the treatment system. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers We understand that the clarifier does not form a direct part of the treatment system. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers There is a trust among peers and a growing trust with management. This encourages open communication and productivity. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers The trust among peers and the growing trust with management encourages open communication and productivity. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers It is true that there is now widespread acceptance that there is a solid market for our company’s goods, but there is now increased competition for our products. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Weak Sentence Openers People generally agree our company has a solid market for its goods, but we also face more competition. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Passive Voice AGENT ACTION GOAL ACTIVE: Some engineers design bridges. PASSIVE: Bridges are designed by some engineers. GOAL ACTION AGENT Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Passive Voice Uses of Passive Voice Abuses of Passive Voice Changing the emphasis of a sentence Creating a false sense of objectivity Omitting unknown or unneeded agents Using habitually Avoiding blaming someone Avoiding responsibility Communicating objectivity Obscuring meaning Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Passive Voice The terms of reference for this study have been provided by the agency. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Passive Voice The agency has provided the terms of reference for this study. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Passive Voice Therefore, the regional wind speed and direction patterns are considered in this air quality evaluation. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Passive Voice Therefore, this air quality evaluation considers the regional wind speed and direction patterns. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Passive Voice Kirchhoff’s Voltage Law was confirmed by directly measuring the voltages in the circuit. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Passive Voice We confirmed Kirchhoff’s Voltage Law by directly measuring the voltages in the circuit. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Passive Voice As part of the analysis of roadway improvements, the review of signal progression along Cambie Street will be required. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication

Passive Voice Analyzing roadway improvements requires reviewing signal progression along Cambie Street. Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication