Restitution Restructuring School Discipline By Diane Chelsom Gossen

Restitution: Restructuring School Discipline By Diane Chelsom Gossen

Based on William Glasser’s Reality Therapy and Control Theory

We all have the same basic needs • • • Belonging Power Freedom Fun Survival

All behavior is an attempt to meet one of these needs. When a child demonstrates behavior that is inappropriate, our role is to help them meet their need in a more acceptable manner.

What roles do we play?

Who would say. . . ? You never get it right.

Who would say. . . ? Do it for me.

Who would say. . . ? Do you want a happy face sticker today?

Who would say. . . ? You’re always the last one to finish.

Who would say. . . ? How can you solve this problem?

Who would say. . . ? You never get it right.

Who would say. . . ? How many times have I told you?

Who would say. . . ? You won’t get a star if you don’t finish.

Who would say. . . ? Remember what I did for you?

Who would say. . . ? What do you believe about how we treat each other?

The Illusions of Control • The Illusion that we can control the student. • The Illusion that All Positive Reinforcement Works and Is Beneficial. • The Illusion that Criticism and Guilt Build Character. • The Illusion that Adults have the Right of Coerce Children.

If you try to enforce duty only by the sword of state, you never create a moral being who has any interest in compliance or who feels obligated to do anything other than simply avoid the penalties of law. --Benjamin Barber

The Basic Beliefs Behind Restitution: • Mistakes happen; accidents are a part of life. • Restitution is about making things better. • Restitution enables the individual to reclaim self-esteem through personal effort. • Restitution benefits the person wronged. • It also benefits the person who has done the wrong. • Forgiveness is not the same as Restitution.

What does Restitution Sound Like? • It’s okay to make a mistake. Now what are you going to do to fix it? • It’s all right to say you’re sorry. Now what are you going to do to fix it? • You’re not the only one. • I know you didn’t mean for it to turn out this way. • I’m not interested in your mistake—I’m interested in what you’re going to do about it.

A good restitution : • It will be seen by the victim as adequate compensation. • It will require effort. • It does not in any way encourage repetition.

An exceptional restitution will also have these characteristics: • It will be relevant to the general area of the mistake. • It will be tied to a higher value or mission statement so the child doesn’t see the restitution as an isolated event, but part of a larger picture of how people treat each other. • It strengthens the child.

Successful Restitution is also characterized by the lack of certain negative behaviors in the adult: • Restraint of criticism, guilt, anger. • Lack of feeling in the helping adult of resentment or being overextended.

Analyze some examples for the following: • Satisfactory amend to the victim. • Effort required. • Little incentive for repetition. • Relevant to the “situation” where possible. • Tied to a higher value, mission statement. • Strengthens the offender. • No resentment by adult. • Restraint of criticism, guilt, or anger.

Restitution Options: • • Fix Pay back Say two positives about person Give time in lieu

Moving Toward a Self-Discipline

Hold Fast to Your Values and Let the Rest Go

Does it really matter? • If he sits with his feet on the floor. • If she chews gum or not? • If they are silent while working? • If they want to change seats? • If she writes neatly? • If he wears an earring? • If she has a clean desk? • If he hands in an assignment late? • If she shows up on time?

Yes, If. . . • Say “Yes” as often as you can. • If you can’t say “Yes, ” say “Yes, if. . . ” and add the condition necessary to be able to say yes to the person. • When you say “No, ” give the child your reason and don’t change your mind.

May I sharpen my pencil? • No, you should’ve done that before class. • Yes, if there is no one else at the sharpener and I am not talking.

May we listen to the radio? • No, because it would be too distracting. • Yes, if everyone is on task.

May we go to Disney World? • No, it’s too expensive and we have no chaperones. • Yes, if you can raise the money, get chaperones and do the study in advance.

Complain to Me! • How do you want it to be? (Instead of how you don’t want it to be. ) Can you control this? • What have you been doing to get what you want? • Is it working? • Do you want to figure out a better way?

My Job is To. . . • Exercise developed jointly between the teacher and the students • Sets out the role of the teacher and the students • Gives the students the concept of the limitations and roles of both the teacher and themselves

My Job is To. . . • • Teach Answer questions Explain different ways Be here on time Go at pace you can learn Enforce rules Care

Your Job is To. . . • • Learn Keep on trying Tell me if I go too fast Follow the rules Communicate your needs Listen to me and others Ask if you don’t understand

My Job is Not. . . • • • To take abuse To babysit To do your job To lend money To cover up

Your Job is Not. . . • To do my job • To decide for another child • To discipline others

This is how you get what you want from me • • Word it as a question Ask me Raise your hand Speak clearly Be pleasant Use logic Tell me what you need

This doesn’t work on me • • Crying Whining Arguing Saying, “Everyone is doing it. ”

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. ” --Bob Talbert