Resiliency of Abuse Survivors Their Adult Children Fran

Resiliency of Abuse Survivors & Their Adult Children Fran S. Danis, Ph. D The University of Texas at Arlington International Conference & Workshop on Ending Violence Against Women National Taiwan University Taipei, Taiwan December 18, 2011 frandanis@uta. edu 1

My Goals Today • Give voice to women and their adult daughters who have survived violence and violence exposure through the sharing of two independent but related research projects • Provide recommendations for research & practice 2

Background • Two separate studies conducted with Dr. Kim Anderson while we were at the University of Missouri together • Resiliency of Abuse Survivors • Adult Daughters of Abuse Survivors 3

• Kim Anderson – prior research on resiliency of adult women who had been sexually abused as children • My background working directly with abuse survivors in domestic violence shelters • Adult daughters taking my Domestic Violence classes at the University of Missouri 4

Goals for Research • Go beyond identifying the negative consequences of violence experience and exposure • Conduct research that uncovers women’s strengths and their capacity to overcome adversity 5

Study Similarities • Both exploratory research • Both relied primarily on quantitative inquiry – using grounded theory method • Abuse survivors was mixed method with quantitative measures • Similar themes: Process by which women and adult daughters recover from traumatic experiences of abuse and abuse exposure – – How do women go from being controlled to being in control? 6

Previous Research • Consequences may remain after violence has ended: – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Jones, Hughes, and Unterstaller, 2001). – Depression (Fergusson, Horwood, & Ridder, 2005; Mechanic, Weaver, & Resnick, 2008) – Substance Abuse (Waldrop & Resick, 1993) – Negative Mental Health and Physical health outcomes (Coker, et al. , 2002; Straight, Harper, & Arias, 2003) 7

• Traumatic responses vary for each individual • Domestic violence is often prolonged and repeated • More one is exposed, more severe the symptoms, more difficult the recovery • Age of onset (i. e. adolescence), severity, extent, and types of abuse are associated with intensity of PTSD 8

Trauma Recovery • Women are able to recover from domestic violence (Goodman, et. al. 2003) • Landenburger (1998) identifies recovery as gaining a new balance and meaning in one’s life after the violence has ended; • Individuals can develop healthy and stable personalities despite enduring highly stressful environments (Linley & Joseph, 2004), including domestic violence. 9

• Humphreys (2003) studied resilience and its relationship with psychological distress in 50 battered women residing in domestic violence shelters. • Resilience was considered “a positive personality characteristic that enhances individual adaptation. • We do not know how abuse survivors are able to achieve psychological and physical well-being as they encounter the demands of creating a new life. 10

Resilience Research • Resiliency research recognizes a complex interaction of individual attributes (e. g. , intelligence, easygoing temperament), family milieu (e. g. , safe and secure connections), and social interactions (e. g. , positive peer relations) in promoting well-being (Masten, 2001). • Resilient persons are viewed by researchers as having “selfcorrecting” tendencies that promote their positive adaptation in overcoming risk factors (e. g. , domestic violence). • People who have survived traumatic situations are considered resilient because they have enduring strengths that developed as means to protect themselves from their adversity (e. g. , domestic violence) 11

Coping with Domestic Violence • Wherever you find violence, you find people trying to defend and protect themselves. • At the moment when abuse takes place, women who are always figuring out how best to survive and thrive. “Persons continue to resist, prudently, creatively, and with astonishing determination, even in the face of the most extreme forms of violence” (Wade, 1997, p. 31). 12

Resiliency of Abuse Survivors • Research purpose: – To uncover, identify, and describe resilient capacities among women who are survivors of domestic abuse. – To seek women’s perspectives on the personal qualities and social conditions that enhanced their ability to survive domestic violence and persevere throughout their lives. – Approved by University IRB 13

Methodology • Women recruited through flyers at county health departments & listserv of state domestic violence coalition. • Mailed questionnaires & scheduled interviews • Face to face 1. 5 hr interviews • Interviews taped and transcriptions sent back to participants for review • 30 minute telephone interview • $20 gift certificate 14

Measures • Demographics. Participant demographic factors included their age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, education level, employment status, current relationship status, and number of children. • Childhood exposure to violence. Participants were asked whether or not they had directly experienced childhood abuse or witnessed their mothers’ battering. • Intimate partner victimization. Participants were asked how old they were when the relationship started, the duration of the relationship, the duration of the violence, and length of time since the relationship ended. 15

Measures of Abuse Experience • Intimate Partner Violence Strategies Index (Goodman et. al, 2003) – 39 items • IPV Abuse Index which included – 14 items from Psychological Maltreatment of Women Inventory (Tolman, 1999) – 14 items on Physical Abuse (modified from Violence Against Women Survey) 2 items on Sexual Abuse (modified from Violence Against Women Survey) 16

Measures of Current Functioning PTSD Checklist for Civilians (PCL-C): 17 items; – Lower scores – less PTSD Range from 17 - 85; symptomatic = 51 -85 Conner Davidson Resiliency Scale – 25 items, max score: 100 – Higher scores = higher resiliency – General population is 80. 4 (+ = 12. 8), – PTSD patients is 47. 8 (+ = 19. 5) 17

Interview Guide • How did you feel about yourself after the relationship ended? • How do you feel about yourself now? • Please describe what has helped you in healing from domestic violence, with any lessons about recovery learned along the way • Please discuss any personal qualities and social conditions that impacted your recovery. – Prompts to this question included informal and formal support systems along with skills, ideas, turning points and a sense of self-regard, control, and purpose in life. 18

Study Participants • • N = 37 Ages – 22 – 64 (M = 42) 76% Caucasian 97% heterosexual 59% employed full or part time 89% had children At time of study 19 divorced; 13 married 52% had High School; 35% had college or graduate degrees 19

Abuse Background • Husbands (n = 33) or • Abuse ended 1 -28 yrs Boyfriends (n = 4) (M=8. 0); 17 reported abuse ended in past 1 -5 • Age of onset: 15 – 49 (M = yrs. 22. 16) • Experienced average of • 41% abuse began during 24 out of 30 types of adolescence abuse • 78% of women (n=29) • Most reported – 100% abuse 5+ years psychological abuse • 20 reported child abuse • 14 were children exposed 20

The Battering Experience “I was married when I was 20 years old, and after a week, there was a violent episode. He didn’t hit me, but he tore up things in the household, and it was all due to, he didn’t like what I was cooking for supper. But by the end of the following week, which was 2 weeks into the marriage, I took my first hit from him. Looking back, every time that I experienced a physical contact with him, the first thing that he would always say is “if you hadn’t of made me” whatever the situation was – he would say that “I wouldn’t have had to hit you. ” After two months into the marriage, he put a loaded gun to my head. I’d never felt that kind of scaredness before. ” (Betsy, age 50) 21

“I wasn’t allowed to make decisions. I was told how to dress. I was told what to fix for meals. I was told to do this, that, and the other. It was very prescribed. I didn’t have any self-esteem what-so-ever. I wasn’t even an individual. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. That was verbally reinforced. I really did not have a “me. ” (Susie, age 56). 22

IPV Strategies • Women used up to 32 different strategies for dealing with abuser • Including: placating, resisting, legal help, safety planning, informal support (friends, co-workers & family), formal support (MD, RN, DV programs, clergy). • The more severe the violence, the more strategies women used =. 457* 23

IPV Strategies Not Helpful • Overall, the strategies used by participants were considered not helpful in controlling the violence. • The least helpful strategies were – “trying to get him counseling for the violence” – “trying to get him help for alcohol or substance abuse” 24

PTSD Findings • PTSD: Mostly non-symptomatic: – Range 17– 75; M = 39. 89; SD = 15. 45 Symptomatic = 51 -85; only 9 women symptomatic • Higher education levels negatively correlated with total PTSD score (r=-. 37, p<. 05) • Higher PTSD scores for women who were abused as children, IPV while teenagers, women who reported more frequent physical and sexual abuse 25

Resiliency Outcomes • Overall – M=74. 97; SD = 14. 10 (general pop. 80. 4) • Higher resiliency scores associated with lower levels of PTSD • The highest scoring item was “I have at least one close and secure relationship which helps me when I am stressed” • The second highest scoring item: “When there are no clear solutions to my problems, sometimes God or fate can help” 26

Resiliency: Non-Significant Factors • Any of the IPV Strategies • Age • Relationship Status: don’t need a new partner to “make you better” • Kids: having kids doesn’t make you better or add to PTSD either 27

Qualitative Findings • Leaving an abusive relationship and working toward recovery, took a tremendous amount of personal strength that was bolstered through spiritual and social support. • Until they were strong enough to support themselves, participants found it necessary to seek and accept informal and formal support from others. • • These women identified how in rebuilding their lives they experienced growth in their self-awareness, faith, and interpersonal relationships. 28

• Instead of thinking one’s lot in life was to be abused, they were able to appreciate what they had learned from their struggles, such as increased strength, wisdom, and compassion and believing their experiences could benefit others: 29

Accessing Support Networks “Don’t be afraid to reach out because when you do it is so much relief and I think that most women will really be surprised at how many people are willing to reach out and help you…it is such a shameful feeling, something that you don’t want to talk about, you don’t want to be seen as weak or a victim or abused…but once you tell it, it’s the first step to empowering yourself. ” (Jane, age 22) 30

• It was hard to bounce back and get the strength to believe in myself again, but I was able to have a good support background. I feel sorry for anybody out there who doesn’t have a loving family, because that’s going to be your main strength. I went from wanting to kill myself every day to, right now, just being able to stand up and say, “Hey, I’m me, and I love myself. ” It was really hard to go from one point to the other without support. (Angel, age 42) 31

Accessing Spiritual Networks “I’ve always believed that things happen for a reason. I mean, what doesn’t kill you always makes you stronger, that’s just what I think. I’ve been through a lot. I’ve been through things that a lot of people can’t make it through, and I ask myself how can I be so forgiving to people for what they’ve done to me, and how did I manage to make it this far? And the only answer that I come up with is by the grace of God; I don’t know how else to explain it. ” (Jill, age 32) 32

• Today, I can honestly say my feelings, my emotions, I don’t let the past control me anymore. When you get those flashbacks from the past, you’ve just got to tell yourself, “No, you’re not going to steal my joy. No, you’re not gonna take away this moment. ” (Daisey, age 31) 33

Building on Strengths = Resiliency “I found that after the relationship ended that I had a talent. A talent for talking, and a talent for sales. I'd talked people into giving me money to help me leave, so I had to be good at something, so I found that I was really actually very good at talking to people on the phone, so I became a telemarketer, because I like to meet people, and I feel like meeting the world one person at a time. So I had found myself, because I didn't really have a lot of skills, and I made money, and I equated the amount of money I made to my worth. I would get into competition sales, and no one would ever take me out of first place, because that equated my worth. And that's how I started to identify that I was a worthy person, because I could always stay on top. Nobody could beat me. I was the best at what I did in every way, and so that's how I grew strong, is I utilized money as a figure of worth, and still, to this day, where I work now, locally, I work for a political fund-raising group. I'm at the top of the pool. “ 34

“I feel really good. I’m in graduate school. I own my own home. I have retirement savings started, so financially life is okay. I have a broad network of friends, whereas before I might have only had one or two best friends. I have a very strong relationship with my parents, God, and my sister. Life is calm, it’s peaceful, it’s almost uneventful, there’s no roller coaster, or drama, and that’s good. ” (Trista, age 33) 35

• I tell you it was the worst experience in my life, but it was also the best experience in my life…It made me a stronger person, and I feel like that what I have gone through, I can pass along to others, and I feel like I have this intuition when I’m around people that are in those situations, and I try to make it evident but not obvious, that I’m there for them if they need anything. (Denise, age 42) 36

What Was Not Helpful • Professional counselors without expertise about domestic violence that blamed them for the abuse • Family members who sanctioned the abuse by encouraging women to remain in the relationship • Pressure by clergy to preserve sanctity of marriage through marriage counseling 37

Adult Daughters • Intergenerational Transmission of Violence • Learned Behavior • Men abused and exposed to IPV were 3. 8 more times likely than other men to perpetrate domestic violence • Link with victimization and violence exposure for girls is not established 38

Research Questions: Adult Daughters of Battered Women 1. How do adult (female) children perceive the impact of childhood exposure to domestic violence? 2. What are the psychosocial processes that influenced the adult daughter’s ability to cope with exposure to domestic violence and its aftermath? Grounded Theory Method: Intent of this study is to discover how one grows and recovers from childhood exposure to domestic violence. 39

Purposive Sampling Criteria • 22 or older • Did not reside in parents’ home • Had experienced (during childhood) their mothers being battered by intimate male partners • Had the ability to express thoughts feelings and opinions about the effects and ability to survive and persevere • Could separate mother’s abuse from own 40

Study Sample (N=15) • Age: Range 22 -64 years old (M=39) • Race: • Caucasian (11); Hispanic (1); Asian (1); Biracial: Native. American/Caucasian (1); African-American (1) • Education: • High School (2); Some college (4); Bachelor’s or Master’s (9) • Sexual Orientation: • heterosexual (12) lesbian (2); bisexual (1) 41

Study Sample (N=15) • Characteristics of batterers’ abuse -13 exposed for 13 or more years -age of exposure onset for child: ranged from birth to 10 years -10 reported that the batterer used weapons -batterers included fathers (n=14) and one stepfather • Time separation from abuse – Range 7 – 34 years Average = 18 yrs • 50% had experienced abuse from an intimate partner as adults 42

In-depth Interviews Interview Guide Content Areas: • Mother’s Abuse and Child Response • View of abuse over time • View of self over time • View of parents over time • Personal traits that facilitated coping • Helpful activities, relationships, services • Turning points • Advice for other adult children • Advice for service providers 43

Examples of Questions • How have your feelings/thoughts about yourself and the abuse changed over time? What contributed to this change? • In what ways do you think you are like your mother? Your father? In what ways are you different than your mother? Than your father? How have your feelings/thoughts about your mother changed over time? Your father? What contributed to these changes? • Looking back, what have you learned about yourself from your experience of being exposed to violence against your mother? 44

Children’s Exposure • Dad used his size, his voice, and his strength to hurt her over and over again. I first remember seeing it and knowing that he was hurting her when I was four years old…The abuse toward Mom continued every moment that he was in the house with us until he was no longer in the home. • It didn’t stop, and he was abusive not only to her but to all of us as well…. I never felt, well, quite frankly, I didn’t think anybody could help us. I really thought that we were all going to die and that there was nothing that we could do about it. I really thought we were totally trapped. (Donna, age 45) 45

• The most vivid memory that I have would be when my father decided that he was going to kill us and he took his truck and he drove it to the top of our drive way, which was a quarter mile along, and he raced it down the driveway and he hit the house. He smashed into the house and he backed up and he smashed into the house again. (Moberly, age 32) 46

47

Order Out of Chaos • I would literally go around trying to straighten things up in the house, as a kid, straighten the chair, straighten this, I wanted my life straightened out, and so I did it on material things, tangible things, because the intangible, I could not do anything about. Until today I’m like that…it’s something I picked up as a kid…my life is orderly, it’s not in chaos. I had to do these kinds of things to make me feel better. (Suria, age 35) 48

I kind of just latched on to other family members. I had an aunt and an uncle who have a daughter that’s two years younger than I am. That’s their second daughter, but she and I are very close. We’re like sisters, and I spent a lot of time at their house when I was growing up, as much as I possibly could…And I know full well that part of me turning out okay is because of them. (Trish, age 37) 49

Opposing Oppression • Like my dad would pull the phone out of the wall and I couldn’t call 911. So I would have to figure out a way to get some place to call and I’d go to the neighbors. Or, when we lived on this little farm we were kind of far from neighbors, and I rode motorcycles when I was kid, so I’d get on my motorcycle and go to the neighbors to call 911 and then go back. (Diane, age 27) 50

• When I got older I discovered that he wouldn’t beat her if I were arguing with him, so I would argue with him and it was because he wouldn’t lay a hand on me, because mom swore she would kill him if he ever did anything to us. (Moberly, age 32) 51

Posttraumatic Growth • In the aftermath of stressful or traumatic life experiences, many people report personal growth in the midst of coping with their adversity. • Areas strengthened: interpersonal relationships, desire to help and protect others, spirituality and resilience to future stressors • Posttraumatic growth research: war combat, natural disasters, death of a loved one, and terminal illness. 52

• Evidence varies as to whether or how posttraumatic growth is related to severity of trauma as the perceived impact of it appears more significant to growth than its exact nature. • Posttraumatic Growth includes a process in which individuals attempt to find meaning from their encounters with life’s tragedies. • “Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment, it finds a meaning. ” (Frankl, 1969, p. 23). 53

Posttraumatic Growth & Adult Daughters Posttraumatic Growth for these women included a process of altering their assumptive world: a process of cognitive deconstruction and re-ordering of the distortions of childhood toward a state of intentional choice-making and creation of one’s own life according to the drive to leave abuse in the past and to establish a future informed by the lessons of hardship and pain. 54

Transformation Process Participants’ resolve to better their lives involved a transformation of childhood views of: • Self: from vulnerability to strength • Their Parents: mothers from victims to resisters and fathers from inhuman to imperfect humans • Their Trauma: from questioning their suffering to finding meaning in their struggles. Education and consciousness-raising about the nature and dynamics of domestic violence was an important step in accepting their traumatic childhood, their parents, and ultimately themselves. 55

Posttraumatic Growth: Transforming childhood powerlessness into personal agency and choice, including breaking the cycle of violence. Cognitive Rumination: Deconstruction and re-ordering of the distortions of childhood regarding self, their parents, and their childhood trauma. Aftermath of Childhood Exposure To Domestic Violence: One’s struggle to “make sense” of childhood trauma. Education and consciousnessraising : Nature and dynamics of domestic violence. Stepping Back: Temporal, spatial and emotional distance. Telling One’s Story: Acknowledging and accepting a childhood marked by violence. 56

Making Sense of Childhood Trauma Lessons learned of a childhood marked by violence: How I make sense of it now is I wouldn’t take it back for the world because it made me the person that I am now, and I think that everything happens for a reason. Becky, age 40 57

Stepping Back There definitely is hope. And especially once you get out of that household. Just because you lived in it doesn’t mean you have to continue it. Mary, age 47 58

Education and Consciousness-Raising: Shared powerlessness between daughters and their mothers: I realized I was carrying around this big load of guilt. And my guilt was that I never tried to help my mother. I mean there were moments when I thought of going downstairs because I couldn’t stand what I was hearing. I was terrified. I thought she was going to be killed. And I didn’t go; I was afraid to go. I now know that if I had gone, there was nothing I could have done. Sarah, age 64 59

Education and Consciousness-Raising: Mothers as Resisters • Because even through the absolute worst you could ever go through in your life for her [mother] to survive it and still have her spirit, not lose herself and there were many times I felt like I was losing myself, I just couldn’t believe it was happening…seeing her do what she did was amazing. Moberly, age 32 60

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse • “I told him if he walked out the door that it was over and that I didn’t want him back again, etc, and he ruptured my eardrum and gave me a concussion and swung Jonathan over to the couch. I said, “That’s it. I’m not going to the doctor anymore because of something he did. I’m not going let my son see this and think that’s the way you treat women. ” 61

• That’s what horrified me the most. I did not want him to grow up thinking this is normal, because I knew it wasn’t, and I couldn’t bear the thought of damaging him. It’s not enough just to feed and clothe and bathe kids. You’ve got to educate them and prepare them to meet the world and I don’t just mean books. That was not the way he needed to be prepared to meet the world. ” (Donna, age 45). 62

Education and Consciousness-Raising: Fathers as Imperfect I kind of have empathy for him, and that’s why I decided to restart this relationship with him, on meeting him where he’s at…. I don’t excuse his behavior at all, but I have empathy. I can look at him from an outside point of view for a minute, and go, “God given his upbringing and his struggle, he’s lucky to get his pants on everyday, and move through the world. ” Becky, age 40 63

Posttraumatic Growth I’ve worked my way to a place where I’m happy and proud that I pulled through and made a better life. My mom and dad are always going to be the driving force, somehow, in my life, but they’re not going to overtake my life. They’re not going to take my life away from me. I’m going to be better than that. Maggie, age 45 64

Recommendations for Practice • Reduce Self-Blame: No significant relationship between IPV strategies and resiliency. • Outreach to religious community • Employment & Workplace Safety • There’s Hope: Abuse doesn’t have to define entire life time. Even women who experienced severe violence are able to access their own resilience. 65

Implications for Social Work Research • The long term effects of IPV violence exposure is a research area that needs attention. • More attention to long term impact on diverse populations. • Long term impact on boys needs more attention especially with regards to men who do not abuse – What are the pathways to resiliency for men? – What mechanisms help men choose not to abuse despite growing up in a household where IPV occurred. 66

Limitations of Studies • Don’t know what PTSD, Resiliency Scores, were before and during violence • Sample was well educated, Caucasian, heterosexual; rural • Self-selected sample; women who believe they are doing well more likely to volunteer to participate in research 67

Conclusion Lessons learned in the stories of these abuse survivors and adult daughters tells each of us that we are not doomed by the past. Each of us possesses the right and the ability to make our own choices and destinies, no matter what has come before. Our role as researchers, teachers, practitioners, friends, parents, sisters, brothers, neighbors is build on the strengths of women to help facilitate their ability to access their own resilient capabilities. 68