RESILIENCE BOUNCING BACK FROM WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT

RESILIENCE: BOUNCING BACK FROM WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT YOU Ramesh Mehay

Resilience: bouncing back from whatever life throws at you Where is your life going?

Resilience…. Another definition . . . the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape —to bounce back —after being subjected to adversity or stress

How do you know when you’re on top form? • Pick a time when you were on top form. • I mean really top form. • Where you said to yourself ‘I love life’. • What was it about that time that made you love life so much? (discuss amongst yourselves, then we’ll discuss in larger group)

How do you know when you’re on top form? • • Mentally on good form Physically on good form Relationships in good form Great attitude to life Problems as opportunities (probortunities) Spontaneous/Creative moments (flow) Seek out new experiences Continue to have a sense humour Can you change any of this?

Recognising when you have high resilience You are ‘whole’ when you are… 1. Adaptable ( flexible) 2. In control ( future focus) 3. Self-sufficient ( inner drive) 4. Optimistic ( energy) 5. Persistent 6. (Strong Relationships) These are things which help us realise when we are whole. BUT WHAT MAKES US WHOLE? put another way… WHAT INFLUENCES EACH OF THESE?

My resilient quotient www. psychometrictest. org. uk/resilience-test http: //russellconsultinginc. com/docs/RQNetwork/PDF/RQ. pdf Self-Actualisation Questionnaire But these do NOT tell you how to become more resilient. (a bit like the PHQ-9)

ENCOURAGING TOWARDS SELFACTUALISATION Abraham Maslow A Theory of Human Motivation

SELF-ACTUALISATION QUESTIONNAIRE Try it – where are you? Examine low scores What needs to happen to move these up? That’s of course if you want to move them up

SELF-ACTUALISED PEOPLE Self-actualised people are ‘whole’ people who yearn to realise their full potential. They have the desire for self-fulfilment. A self-actualiser is a person who is living creatively and fully using his or her potentials. In doing so, they express their creativity, quest for spiritual enlightenment, pursuit for knowledge and their desire to give back to society (contribution). The need to be good, to be fully alive and to find meaning in life. It is growth-motivated rather than deficiencymotivated. In summary, it’s the final level of psychological development that can be achieved when basic and mental needs are essentially fulfilled. [actualised = make a reality; self-actualised = make a reality of what one is capable of becoming; the full realisation of one’s potential; intrinsic growth of what is already in the organism. Words synonymous with self-actualisation: self-discovery, selfrealisation and self-exploration. ]

CHARACTERISTICS OF SELFACTUALISED PEOPLE Self-actualisers are comfortable with themselves and are accepting of others around them and of nature. They accept the positives and the fundamental flaws of human nature. They make their own judgement about things and aren’t reliant on other people or societal rules (they have autonomy). They inherently know right from wrong. They are able to judge situations correctly and honestly. They can even discern people fairly quickly – from those that are genuine from those that are fake. They often feel they have a mission to fulfil in life or some task or problem ‘beyond’ themselves (instead of outside of themselves). They constantly appreciate the here and now and within it the natural wonders in the world – a sunset, or a flower; which is as intensely experienced as it was at first. They develop close loving bonds with those around them – they tend to have a few close friends rather than many superficial relationships. Their lives are dotted with peak experiences (moments of rapture) – occasions marked by feelings of wonderment, ecstasy, harmony and deep meaning. In this way, they feel at one with the universe, have an intense desire to help their fellow mankind, are dedicated to a vocation and are satisfied with themselves.

IN SUMMARY, SELFACTUALISED PEOPLE ARE. . . §Dedicated to a vocation = PERSISTENT §They make their own destiny = SELF CONTROL, SELF-SUFFICIENCY §Great outlook on life = OPTIMISM §Creative & Spontaneous = ADAPTABILITY Isn’t that we are after?

A M Demo t n a g o rr B bl y g n i r o xi Laz fle a l l si tivated Quarrelso m i me n In u P u o Trucul e n g t n i y o n n A Sa rca Obstructive e Obstinate o B od Arrogant one i dle y B d e l l e i g e n d r r e n n o t i s b u m b o u w p St m o u b m r e h t r n i o n i Pa P Na sti c

k r o w Proac ed itt m m Co tive R e f l e m c t i a v d e r e t a e t v H Open i t a i e s r r o e new to P tude G y a l ide i t p t a ADMITS WHEN a s C Engaging Pre oll RIGHT/WRONG J par a o b e s l o f E o w l a r g Likeable r tut e e y a r l t l o learn te or Bouncey o t s e l r c i u u l t f s u s h f a th t t a e i l u c i p s e w Tr u A p t u o h e s s p t l e h b y l e s n u o e n a t R E n o Sp ials

MASLOW’S CENTRAL IDEAS 1. Men & Women are basically good not evil. 2. Human beings have an INNATE tendency to move toward higher levels of health, creativity, insight, and self-fulfilment. 3. A deficiency of basic human needs leads to a blockage of the innate tendency toward self-actualisation. 4. Denial, frustration or twisting of our essential nature leads to psychopathology. 5. Efficiency at work and personal growth are not incompatible.

Their Life

ALSO…. The salvation of the human being is not to be found in either behaviorism or in psychoanalysis, (which deals with only the darker, meaner half of the individual). We must deal with the positive side of the individual - questions of - value - individuality - consciousness - purpose What makes them tick? - ethics - and the higher reaches of human nature.

THE SELF-ACTUALISING MAN OR WOMAN…. Is not an ordinary being with something added But rather as the ordinary man or woman with nothing taken away The average man is a full human being with dampened and inhibited powers and capacities. Self- actualization is not a static state. It is an ongoing process in which one's capacities are fully, creatively, and joyfully utilized.

FOR EXAMPLE, Someone who has the inherent potential to be a great artist or teacher may never realise his/her talents if their energy is focused on attaining the basic needs of humans.

SIMILARLY FOR TRAINEES OR YOURSELF… We can only push them/ourselves towards their/our inherent ‘greatness’ or focus on their/our human potential if we help them/ourselves sort out other parts of their/our lives that are deficient. §Help them/ourselves with basic needs §So that they/we can focus their energy on higher level stuff. To do that, we need a rough idea of a map of their/our life and what’s going on for them/us currently. WE NEED TO GET TO KNOW THEM/OURSELVES – and be naturally and periodically inquisitive thereafter.

BUT DO ALL PEOPLE SELFACTUALISE Self-actualisation can be reached by any particular individual – no matter who you are. BUT most of us operate at a level lower than that of self-actualisation And not all of us want to operate on self-actualisation. ‘I don’t have to be that good!’ This is called the psychopathology of normality (that most of us happy operating at a sub-self-actualisation level). Some say self-actualisation is reserved for those people who have been lucky in life (and don’t have to struggle day-to-day) Maslow said it was attitude that made the difference – the attitude of the individual was the catalyst for the path they took. What makes attitude different from person to person?

Self actualization is described as "the most fundamental life task of everybody" which everyone has potential for but is often "covered up or occluded and distorted". Acknowledging the spiritual aspect of human experience.

Their Life

THE PIE OF LIFE (=THE WHEEL OF LIFE) Exercise 6 Where is your life right now? Where is it

HOW TO HELP TRAINEES SELF-ACTUALISE First point – self actualisation is not just reserved for GP ST 3 s! See where they are now q be interested in their lives q questionnaires And remember, you can’t self-actualise overnight. It takes time. You can mobilise them in the 6 -12 months you have with them.

HOW TO HELP TRAINEES SELF-ACTUALISE 1. Help them experience fully, vividly, selflessly with full concentration and absorption 2. Take a calculated risk: choose growth over safety 3. Self-awareness/emergence – what things mean for them inside (books, film, anything) 4. When in doubt, to be honest 5. Judgement – exploring inner instincts, prepared to be unpopular 6. Keep looking at self-development (not a one-off process) 7. Peak Experiences – stop, explore, reflect, enjoy (can be good or bad moments) 8. Let go of Ego defences – they distort us and how we percieve the world The Farther Reaches of Human Nature, Maslow (1970)

TEAM RESILIENCE Starts with the individual. A team is only as strong as the collective resilience of its individuals. So, build individuals first and that means being genuinely interested in them and their development.