Representing Black relationships The meanings single Black women
Representing Black relationships: The meanings single Black women make of Black relationship media Jessica D. Moorman, MHS Ph. D Candidate Department of Communication Studies University of Michigan
BLACK RELATIONSHIP MEDIA (BRM)
RESEARCH QUESTIONS • What are single Black women’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences of being single? • What messages about sex, dating, and relationships do Black women take from BRM and the media they consume more broadly? • How do single Black women interpret the representations, reporting, and advice offered by BRM?
METHODS • Pilot study for phase one of ESMMD project; • Semi-structured interviews approx. 90 mins each; • Self-identified single, Black, American, cisgender, heterosexual women, 25 -45 years of age, living in Detroit, MI; • Purposive sampling technique by maternal status, education, and age; • Examples of BRM provided, matching activity used; • Analysis conducted using grounded theory; • 5 of 25 Interviews completed thus far. (Corbin & Strauss, 2008; Cresswell, 2014; Reinharz & Davidman, 1992)
PARTICIPANTS • Chimimanda: 31, no kids, Masters degree, Detroit transplant, grant-funded position at a CBO. • Mariah: 33, no kids, Masters degree, Detroit native, corporate communications director. • Sheena: 33, 3 kids, associates degree, Detroit native, waitress. • Zora: 27, no kids, college degree, Detroit native, staff for CBO. • Susan: 27, no kids, college, Detroit native, artist, public face of social hub.
BEING SINGLE IS… NOT FOR ME A SEASON EXCITING “Like I have relatives. CONFRIMS who are like, ‘are you BEST gay? ’…As if I’m THE single because I’m gay. I don’t know…I have younger HARD FRUSTRATING “I’ve dated a lot of guys who are like…so why are you THINGS ABOUT ME cousins who now have babies. You know, even if they’re not single? . . . there’s a what’s wrong withlike, youoh, kind of married, they havelike a baby…And so there’s I know DRAINING thing likeperson you’re damaged goods if you’re single. FREEING Well, MEH… that this wasn’t single at some point because they REVEALING like motherfucker, you’re too. what’s have a child. You know whatsingle, I mean? …. So Like, um, Iyour had a CLARITY BULL SHIT damage? You know, like how long have these been bunch of aunts, my dad has. REPETITIVE four sisters, and they were all STRESSFUL together. And I wasin holding a baby. somebody eggs been sitting the carton in And the back of thewas like let me get a picture of this because we don’t know if we’ll refrigerator or whatever, which IUNPREDICTABLE think is just like INSULTING SENSUOUS ever see [this again] – do and you know how to hold. A aright? ” baby? TIME TO nobody questions men their singleness, And-Mariah I’m like excuse me? Like I’m single, but, um, PREPARE I know AMUSING ENTERTAINING how to hold a baby. ” UNIVERSAL -Mariah. OF A BREATH FRESH AIR FUN SEXUAL A TIME FOR ME
BEING SINGLE IS… NOT FOR ME A SEASON EXCITING While participants reported stigma from family potential CONFRIMS THEand BEST FRUSTRATING HARD partners, friends were more understanding. THINGS ABOUT ME DRAINING “A lot of my friends are single too…we talk about guys, FREEING MEH… REVEALING and relationships, and stuff, but they don’t really think CLARITY SHIT I’m doing anything bad. They think I’m doing. BULL okay. Like REPETITIVE you’re focusing on your career, and you’re kinda STRESSFUL getting yourself together, and being selective about UNPREDICTABLE INSULTING SENSUOUS what you want, which is a good thing. So they don’t TO A TIME really see it as anything bad. ” AMUSING PREPARE ENTERTAINING UNIVERSAL A BREATH OF SEXUAL FUN A TIME FOR ME FRESH AIR
SINGLE BY CHOICE NOT FOR ME A SEASON EXCITING In response to the question: “Are you thriving and enjoying your CONFRIMS THE BEST single life? ” Sheena states: “There are days when I’m like, ‘am I going to end up FRUSTRATING HARD THINGS ABOUT ME alone? ’. . . I’ve asked that and worried “I am attempting to—Imyself definitely ambefore, because I just feel like dealt other people's shit, and I've always been DRAINING aboutwith it before, then eventually I move on… I’mso like, FREEING MEH… concerned howdecided what I REVEALING was doin' else O. K. Zora, with you’ve that youmade don’tsomebody want to settle, feel or "Don't this cuz theycould, will feel a certain kinda because youdo could -- you have a couple ofway times CLARITY BULL SHIT about that. ” now it'sgoing kinda likeleave it's me. What makes me REPETITIVE -- but. STRESSFUL is that. But decision to you by yourself? comfortable or what happy that with. being What do I want? What So…I’ve made the I'm decision alone is better UNPREDICTABLE do I wanna be? …So it's more so about me and makin' me INSULTING SENSUOUS than settling, probably, but I’ve also thought A to TIME myself TO happy—as opposed to worryin' about what makes somebody ‘O. K. what’s the consequence of that? ’” else AMUSING happy. ” PREPARE ENTERTAINING -Zora -Sheena A BREATH OF FRESH AIR FUN SEXUAL UNIVERSAL A TIME FOR ME
POSITIVE REPRESENTATIONS “I really like man repeller…even though she’s married…the voice in her blog is just like do you. Whether you’ve grown up with extreme privilege or you’re whether you’re just an everyday girl…the tone is just like a really humorous, way of saying ‘girl, do the fuck what you wanna do. Do you, because people aren’t going to understand you anyway. ’…” -Susan
POSITIVE REPRESENTAITONS “…We are under attack by basic cis-white-male ideals. So I think the voice is very accurate. Keep your personality. Don’t be broken down. Do you, you know? . . . Stay strong, express yourself, wear what you wanna wear, say what you wanna say. If you’re fucking awkward be awkward. If you’re funny looking and don’t want to wear makeup, don’t fuckin’ wear makeup…It’s all about surviving. ” -Susan
BRM MISSES THE POINT Of “The Wait” and “Act Like a Lady” Chimimanda states: Of the genre more broadly Chimimanda sees that these representations of relationships can be problematic for women. “So I always think it’s interesting to hear like guys perspectives whatideas women need be doing, or should “Like I feel likeonthese could betoweaponized be doing…but with the main thing I take away from sometimes—against women. And that people…[are] using these books in particular is to despiteisthe these two books or using Aisha Curry—who like just talking admission to like a lady…like focus on yourself about her life withact herlike husband her family—to like and work on yourself…. even though 80 percent of or shame women about being single andlike being too freaky the is enough, bullshit I and thinkit’s the things that I come away with not stuff freaky just, it’s nonsense. ” are value your time, value yourself. ”
EARLY CONCLUSIONS • Personal experiences of singleness are multifaceted —BRM and media broadly miss this. • Women are choosing life without a serious, committed romantic partner—BRM and media broadly miss this. • Singleness is understood and supported within friendship networks; • Singleness stigmatized within families and new partner contexts, findings in conflict with sexual risk parent-child communication research. • Stigma calls single Black women’s sexuality, gender, and status as women into question; • Women uniquely stigmatized—BRM and media broadly contribute to this.
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