RELATIONSHIPS History of relationships research Pre 1960 s

RELATIONSHIPS

History of relationships research Pre 1960 s Festinger, Schachter, & Bach, 1950 1960 s-70 s Newcomb, 1961 Byrne, 1961 Walster, Aronson, Abrahams, & Rottman, 1966 Dutton & Aron, 1974 1980 s Love, Investment model 1990 s Evolutionary psych 2000 s “Real” relationships People say that physical attraction isn’t that important, but research shows that it is

Major theoretical approaches Social exchange theory (Blau, 1964) Interdependence theory (Thibaut & Kelley, 1959) Investment model (Rusbult, 1990) Equity theory (Walster, & Berscheid, 1978) Attachment theory (Hazan & Shaver, 1987) Evolutionary psychology (Buss, Kenrick) Communal vs. exchange relationships (Clark)

Theories Motivation-management model of interdependence (Murray & Holmes, 2009) Equilibrium model of relationship maintenance (Murray, Holmes, Griffin, & Derrick, 2015) Attachment Security Enhancement Model (Arriaga, Kumashiro, Simpson, Overall, 2018)

Investment Model (Rusbult) Predicts 50 -90% of commitment in relationships of all types (dating, marriage, domestic abuse, homosexual, jobs) Predicts willingness to accommodate EVLN How does it differ from equity? From social exchange? How does this model fit with CNM relationships (Conley, Matsick, Moors, & Ziegler, 2017)?

CNM relationships What were the main points of Conley et al. ? How might studying CNM relationships advance our knowledge?

Attachment Bowlby Ainsworth “Strange Situation” Secure, Avoidant, Anxious-ambivalent Hazan & Shaver, 1987 Avoidance vs. Ambivalence as separate dimensions (Bartholomew) Secure Preoccupied Fearful avoidant Dismissive avoidant

Secure I find it relatively easy to get close to others an am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close.

Avoidant I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others. I feel it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets close and often romantic partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.

Anxious/ambivalent I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away.

More recent measures of attachment Adult Attachment Interview (George, Kaplan, & Main, 1985) ECR-R (Fraley, Waller, & Brennan, 2000) List of measures

Attachment theory (Bowlby, Hazen & Shaver, Feeney, Simpson) Views of others vs. views of self What is the problem with looking at these categorically? When does someone become an attachment figure? What is main point of Attachment theory? Is it evolutionary?

ASEM Model (Arriaga, Kumashiro, Simpson, & Overall, 2018) How stable is attachment, according to this theory? When and why would it change? How can partners respond to assuage attachment threats in the short and long term? Do similar processes operate within other relationships? How does this theory fit with investment theory and the equilibrium model?

Commitment insurance system (Cavallo, Murray, & Holmes, 2014) Seek connection vs. avoid rejection When threats, can Withdraw or Draw partner closer If low SE, try to be more indispensable, but trust less If high SE, trust and love more Confidence in partner’s love leads to commitment Doubt leads to self-protection How does this relate to attachment theory?

Motivation-management model of interdependence (Murray & Holmes, 2009) Three main ways to deal with threats: Justifying costs Ensuring mutual dependence Accomodating in response to hurt What does the equilibrium model add (Murray et al. , 2017)? How does trust fit in? How does this model fit with attachment theory? What gender differences did they find?

Murray et al. , 2015 What questions did you have about the study itself or its findings? Are the measures good operational defintiions of the concepts?

Similarities between theories Cognitive dissonance and Risk regulation/Equilibrium model ASEM Investment Three with each other What implications do the three have for how to make a relationship work?

Gottman research http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=1 o. B 6 z. Nc. LIH 0 4 horsemen of the apocalypse Contempt Stonewalling Defensiveness Criticism http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=f. TAKt. DB 8 f. Y

How to have a good relationship Have surprise (Berscheid) Do novel, exciting activities (Aron) Make positive attributions Assume they love you and make them feel loved (Murray) Remember the positive Think you’re better than other couples Be accurate but positive (Fletcher) Think they are better than they think they are (positive illusions; Murray & Holmes)

Predictors of attraction (target) What factors affect perceptions of physical attractiveness across cultures? Where are there cultural differences? Who is it more important for?

And it doesn’t just matter for romantic relationships Physically attractive children are punished less Physically attractive defendants get lighter sentences Plain people make 5 -10% less than average-looking people, who make about 4% less than very physically attractive people (controlling for gender, education, occupation, etc. ) Strong consensus across cultures Why?

“Averaged” faces are more symmetrical http: //www. faceresearch. org/demos/aver age

What is beautiful is good stereotype (Snyder, Tanke, & Berscheid, 1978) Physically attractive seen as more Sociable Extraverted Happy Popular Friendly Mature Sexually warm Likeable Well-adjusted Poised In US/Canada, also strong, assertive, and dominant In S. Korea, also sensitive, honest, empathic, trustworthy, generous

What else affects attraction? Other target or perceiver or situation variables? What’s the story on similarity vs. complementarity?

Evolutionary psych Parental investment model (Trivers, 1972) Buss (1989) 37 cultures study Eagly & Woods critique Eastwick et al. critique Sexual strategies theory (Buss & Schmitt, 1993); Strategic pluralism (Gangestad & Simpson, 2000) What factors have evolutionary theories examined?

Fertility effects on women Women prefer the smell of symmetrical and genetically dissimilar men when they are ovulating (and similar men otherwise) Women dress more fashionably They buy sexier clothing They make more money if they use attractiveness to make money They are attracted to more masculine men (e. g. , strong jaw, deep voice, tall) They flirt more They are less committed to partner

Fertility effects on men When a man’s partner is ovulating, he Is more attentive Is more jealous Sees other men as more of a threat

Speed dating https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=4 h. O Kty. QMZe. E

Love (80 s) Rubin’s love scale http: //psychcentral. com/lib/rubins-lovescale-and-rubins-liking-scale/000792 Companionate vs. passionate love (Berscheid & Walster, 1978) Sternberg’s triangular theory (intimacy, passion, commitment) Love styles (Henrick & Henrick) eros, ludus, storge, mania, agape, pragma Sternberg’s love as a theory (scripts) How can love be best conceptualized?

Passionate vs. companionate love Passionate: intense longing with arousal. I would feel deep despair if X left me. My thoughts are often on X. I would rather be with X than anyone else. X always seems to be on my mind. Companionate love: intimacy and affection. I have confidence in the stability of my relationship with X. I am committed to X. I expect my love for X to last the rest of my life.

Sternberg’s triangular theory

Manipulations of closeness Aron, Melinat, Aron, Vallone, & Bator, 1997

Next week Evals Helping chapter from different book Early and “replication” article on bystander intervention Heroism Positive psychology