Relating to Children St Mark Coptic Orthodox Church

Relating to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church St. Paul Servant Preparation Program April 30, 2006 • Charlotte, NC http: //www. stmarknc. us

ACKNOWLEDGMENT These notes are quoted directly from the book How to Relate to Children by Pope Shenouda III. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Part I: Early Childhood (Through Kindergarten)

Go down to his level • • Do not talk “down” Know his likes and dislikes. Befriend him. Become a child that you might win the child To the Jews I became as a Jew that I might win Jews. To the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. (1 Cor 9: 20 -22). How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

How to begin • Hold him on your shoulder. • Smile, laugh, be happy-faced and kind • • • hearted. If you are among a large group, gravitate towards the children. Respect their feelings. Your facial expressions & mood matter more than your words. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Importance of senses • Senses more than reasons • Detailed stories & explanations hard to • • understand Pictures & visual aids “The lesson of the dove. ” (Child’s memory of the Baptism. ) How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Animals and birds • They love animals & imagine them talking • Story of Balaam’s donkey • They imagine the animals listening and • • knowing them. Story of roosters in carpet Showing stories on video How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Playing • • • Toys, pets, other children Design & construct things Take apart, put back together Develop skills Try challenging things, climb a tree, jump over obstacles. Children often misbehave because we are not offering them constructive games. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Laughter • Loves to laugh! • Delights in cheerful person who makes him laugh! How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Motion • Children are full of energy, expressed in movement • Sing with motion. • Stand up when raising hand. • Walk to front when wish to talk. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Motion (Cont’d) • Cannot stand for two, three hours in Mass without movement. • Notice how Psalti move in a coordinated way with priest and other servers, kneeling, standing, reading, holding candles, and much more… • Do not ask a child to sit and be motionless. Let him run around and play. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Loud voice • Children have loud voices. • They may lack the words to express refined feelings, but they have them. • Have a special place for the very younger children, such as a crying room. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Prayer • Imperative to teach • prayer, raising of hands, kneeling, and worship Repeat, memorize. How to Relate to Children • Principle of memorizing given by Christ, “When you pray, say, ‘Our Father …’” • Family prayers have an effect on the child. St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Ability of Memorizing • Their minds are like sponges. • Able to memorize vast amounts of • information. To what are we exposing them? How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Imagination • Children make up fantastic stories—do not • • • stifle that imagination. Do not call them a liar, but follow the story with him, and co-author it, and examine its conclusion with him! The imagination is the kernel of creative problem solving. Story of the kerosene lamp. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Rituals • Connect with and satisfy the imagination • Implant a deep faith • Teach theology through activity How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Prolongation vs. Repetition? • Hates prolongation! • Loves repetition! • Break a long story into several bite-sized • • parts. Repeat phrases and expressions. Repeat attractive melodies & choruses. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Imitation • Children love to copy: • Facial movements, gesticulations. • Be watchful of yourself. If you notice • something inappropriate in a child, from where do you think he learned it! Those wishing to get married must be qualified for being a role model for future generations. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

The Love Factor • Show your love to the child, and he will • • follow you. He will obey you out of love, rather than fear. It is their pleasure to follow you. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Jealousy • Beware of focusing on one child more than • • another. Look at the brothers of Joseph the Righteous. Be fair with children; do not make them hate each other because of you. “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. ” (Mat 18: 6) How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Love • The philosophy of love should be taught • • through giving. God loves us; he gives us everything! When you express your love for a child, you give too! Time, icons, crosses, toys, smiles, affection, encouragement! And TIME! How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Giving • Teach the child to give. • When you have visitors, give the gifts to • the children and let them give them to the visitors. Every time he gives something to others, praise and encourage him! How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Significance of Childhood • Once a Catholic Pope said: “Give me the • • children of the world and I will make the whole world Catholic. ” You take the children and make them Orthodox. The things that imprint in the mind of a child have a great effect on his whole life. Psychologists are presently trying to attribute all man’s characters and emotions, his strong or weak personality, to his childhood. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Part II: Late Childhood (Grades 1– 3)

Transition from Early to Late • Fluid boundary • Gradual transition • Differs from one child to another How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Similarities • • How to Relate to Children Memorizing Imitating Loving those who love Joking St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Differences • • Questions ideas and others Needs explanations Differentiates between ownership If steals, might cover up with a lie. Lying here not fantasy as before. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Broader Society • His “world” moves beyond the home. • Others might influence his thinking: • • • teachers, schoolmates. It is our duty to give attention and protection. We need to be friends so that he does not avoid us. Make him feel secure. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Sunday School • Some families completely depend upon the • • Sunday School for this support. Wrong, because parents have the responsibility for education, religious or otherwise. It is very easy for a child to go to Sunday School and ignore everything. “How was your lesson. ” … “Good. ” The parent has to give the child other lessons so that the child will be incited to question. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Sunday School (Cont’d) • The parent must give the child other • lessons. The child must respect his parents and be able to come to them with questions about the Bible or spiritual matters. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Delivery • Timing is important. • Parable of the oil-bearing women: Come to church early: Exam week. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

The Child is a Believer • If you teach a child to say, “O God, …” in • prayer, he will not ask you “Who is God? ” Therefore, tell the child about God’s way with his people. Let them get to know God’s history with His people. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Stories • Children, and adults, love stories! How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Stories of the Martyrs • Do not scare the children with stories of • • flogging, dragging, stoning, severing of organs and all various kinds of torture. Keep fear away. Tell about the courage of the martyrs, how they faced threats without fear. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Martyrdom • The saints consider martyrdom as meeting • with Christ, moving to paradise and mixing with the angels and saints. Tell about the miracles associated with their sufferings such as: a cup of poison given to St George, he makes the sign of the cross on it, drinks it and suffers no harm. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA

Punishment & Reward • Reward for good works. • Gently rebuke for wrong, especially if • • harmful to others or self. Pampering teaches selfishness. Do not worry if he cries. “For whom the Lord loves he chastens. . . ” (Heb 12: 6) After discipline, show affection. It was not your affection that changed but his actions. How to Relate to Children St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church • Charlotte, USA