Red Riding Hood the Big Bad Wolf Once

Red Riding Hood & the Big Bad Wolf

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Riding Hood who lived in an enchanted castle where she worked on her dissertation.

One day, Grandlady called and lamented, “Child of mine, I’m out of rum. ”

Red Riding Hood exclaimed, “Egad! Tarry until your liquid treasure arrives. I shall hasten and be there presently. ”

On her journey, she happened upon a big, bad wolf with grizzly, gray hair, nasty claws, and fetid breath.

Well, aren’t thou a sight, ” noted Red. “Well, aren’t THOU a sight!” remonstrated the wolf.

Prithee, wolf, art thou planning on devouring me? ” shuddered Red.

“Gadzooks, nay, ” retorted Wolfy, “I am on my way to Grandlady’s to huff and puff and blow her house in!”

“Art thou daft? ” laughed Red. “You are in the wrong fairy tale!”

Sheepishly, Wolfy skulked away only to turn and query, “Well then, what have you in your basket? ”

“I have liquid treasure for Grandlady to sooth her aching bones, ” Red said with a smile.

“Ah, is it Jack? ” Wolfy asked longingly. “Nay, it is the liquid gold of Sailor Jerry, ” rejoined Red.

Wolfy howled, “Rum? ! Then take that foul swill to her and I shall go to the Johnson’s for Hallowe’en’s proper drink!”

“Splendid idea, ” said Red. “I shall fetch Grandlady and we shall attend. ”

And they all lived happily ever after.

The moral of the story is all who accept this invitation shall also live happily ever after.

Invitation When: Where: Bring: Wear: Saturday, Oct. 31 at 8 pm The Johnson’s at 135 Greenbriar Rd. Scary snacks and the libation of your choice A costume, of course!

The End