Reacting Verily We created man in the best
Reacting
Verily. We created man in the best stature (mould). Surah At-Tin 95: Verse 4
WHY IS MAN CALLED ASHRAF UL MAKHLUKAAT? WE HAVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD
• Blame others
• Make things happen • Take responsibility
proactive reactive proactive
If • you respond the way everyone else does • The way people think you should You choose to be REACTIVE in your life
Litmus test
YOU ARE THE DRIVER OF YOUR LIFE NOT THE PASSENGER
Proactive people unlock all the doors to good habits
I am the force!
I am the captain of my life!
I can choose my attitude
I am responsible for my happiness and unhappiness
Reactive people make choices based on impulse
Proactive people think before they act
Proactive people are like water
They are calm and cool
Lets see who we are! You hear your best friend badmouthing you in front of a group. she doesn’t know you overheard the conversation. Just five minutes ago this same friend was sweet talking you to your face. You feel hurt and betrayed.
Tell her off Get depressed Give her the silent treatment for a long time Hit her Spread vicious rumors about her Reactive choices
• Forgive her • Confront her and calmly share how you feel. • Ignore her and give her a second chance. PROACTIVE CHOICES
“But whoever forgives and makes reconciliation his reward is due with Allah” (Surah Ash Shu’ra 42: Verse 40)
You help your teacher in small errands and you have been extremely dependable and committed. However, your teacher recommends someone else's name for headgirl.
Reactive choices Spend all your waking hours complaining to everyone and their dog about how unfair this decision was. Scrutinize the nominated student and find her every weakness. Stalk her on facebook! Be convinced that your teacher is out to get you. Slack off in what you were doing before.
Proactive choices JTalk to your teacher as to why she felt the other girl was more suitable than you. JContinue to be a hardworking student. JLearn what you can do to improve your performance.
Listen to your language
Reactive language • That’s me. • That’s just the way I am.
If my teacher was a bit reasonable …
Thanks a lot you ruined my day !
If only … • I attended a different school • Had better friends • I was born in a richer family ……. . then I’d be happy
smile low sad high happy Ugh! Yay! frown great Reactive language is like giving the remote control of your life to others.
Proactive language is like having the remote control of your life in your hands
Just push pause 1. Pause 2. Get control 3. Think how you want to respond 4. You’ll make smarter decision
Reactive language I’ll try That’s just the way I am There’s nothing I can do I have to I can’t You ruined my day Proactive language JI’ll do better JI can do better than that JLet’s look at all our options JI choose to JThere’s got to be a way JI’m not going to let your mood rub off on me
The VICTIMITUS virus
Their lines • I would come first in my class if I had a better teacher. • I was about to give the answer but she cut me off in class.
• USA doesn’t want us to progress • The West is keeping us from doing this and that • If only we had sincere politicians to run the country
Wait for things to happen to them
Their problem is usually ‘out there!’
Only one person can hold you back
Reactive people are easily offended
Blame others
Get angry and say things they regret later
Whine and complain !
Change only when they have to
It is much easier to be REACTIVE in life
Being PROACTIVE is taking the higher road
You don’t have to be perfect
The key is to get in the habit of being proactive
Never underestimate the huge difference small changes can make
Can / cannot control • A past mistake • A rude comment • Who our parents are • Who are our Friends • Intelligence • Dedication • • Our response Our attitude Our fate Our destination in the Hereafter • Our choices
What can we control in “cannot control things”
So what should we worry about?
Proactive people learn to smile about things not in their control
I walk down the street There is a deep hole in the side walk I fall in. I am lost , I am helpless It isn’t my fault. It takes for ever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street. There is deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street. There is deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It’s my fault. I get out immediately.
I walk down the same street. There is deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
I walk down another street
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