r e h t o ne An O

r e h t o ne An O e v o L Bear er’s h t o n A e n s O n e d Bur Speak Truth to One Another Be at Submit to o ne another Encourage h s i n o m d A e Honor o ne anoth er above yo urselves ac Pe Forgive le b a t i p s o Be H Serve

How to Be a Great Husband Ephesians 5: 21 -33

How to Be (or Find) a Great Husband Ephesians 5: 21 -33

hat makes a man a great husba Let’s check out what God says.

Who invented marriage? Genesis 2: 22 -24 NLT the LORD God made a woman from the !” a l rib, and he brought her to the man. ho 23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “O “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman, ’ because she was taken from ‘man. ’” 24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 22 Then

How to Be (or Find) a Husband Who Husbands the Way God Designed Ephesians 5: 21 -33

r e h t o n a e n o o t t i m b Su “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ” Eph 5: 21 NLT

r e h t o n a e n o o t t i m b Su “Be filled with the Spirit…submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. ” Eph 5: 18, 21 NLT

Submitting to One Another 3 Examples (Ephesians 5 & 6) � Husbands and wives � Parents and children � Masters and slaves

Greco-Roman Household Codes Purpose: To make clear the top-down authority that men had over their entire households—wives, children, and slaves. Submission was one -way.

Paul’s Household Codes (Ephesians and Colossians) Radically subversive � Makes � Not all submission two-way based on position, but “out of reverence for Christ” � Paul talks to men about their responsibilities, not their authority or rights � Paul speaks directly to wives, children, and slaves, showing them great respect

Christianity made women equal. “The Christian message transformed women’s relationships with men. Women became men’s sisters in Christ, equal in standing before God and active partners in the gospel. This had an impact on the marriage relationship. ” Andrew Bartlett, Men and Women in Christ, p. 67.

Ephesians 5: 21 -33 NLT 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. s— e v i w r o s F e s r 2 ve 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For s— d n a b us ses h For 8 ver husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. ” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

God commands husbands to. . � …love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ gave his life for the church �. . . to feed and care for their wives, just as Christ cares for the church � …so their wives will become pure and holy (spiritually mature)

If you’re looking for a great husband… � Does he love you sacrificially, just as Christ gave his life for the church? � Bully. � Does � Self-centered. � Is � Does he feed and care for you (spiritually and emotionally), just as Christ cares for the church? he helping you to become more spiritually mature (pure and holy)? Bosses you around. Does not nurture you. not help you be pure and holy—grow spiritually.

What if he wants you to have sex before marriage? 18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. If someone wants you to have sex outside of marriage, is he or she committed to helping you be “pure and holy”?

Why God hates sexual sin Sex outside of marriage isn’t wrong “because the Bible says so. ” Rather God calls us to avoid sexual sin—like every other sin—because it hurts us, it hurts other people, and it hurts our relationships. God wants shalom for all of us—wholeness and right relationships (with God, others, self, and creation)—for all of us, and sin is anything that sabotages shalom.

If you are considering marriage. . …and the other person bullies you or treats you with disrespect… …he or she is not God’s person for you (at least for now) …if the other person wants you to commit sexual sin. . …he or she is not God’s person for you (at least for now)

Because godly husbands. . � …love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ gave his life for the church �. . . feed and care for their wives, just as Christ cares for the church � …so their wives will become pure and holy (spiritually mature) Does he love God more than he loves you? Does he put what God wants ahead of what he wants? Ahead of what you want?

… T U B I’m already married and my husband isn’t like that. “Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. “Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. ” 1 Peter 3: 1 -6 MSG

I can’t imagine attracting a … T person like that. U B MY LIE “The kind of person I’m looking for won’t be interested in me. ”

I can’t imagine attracting a … T person like that. U B 90% of FINDING the right person is BEING the right person. Unhealthy people attract unhealthy people. Needy people attract needy people. Healthy people attract healthy people.

Being the Right Person � Live wholeheartedly for God: Trust, Listen, Obey (Fruits of the Spirit) � Learn to be content as a single person: Build deep friendships. Root your identity in God. � Refuse to settle: “It’s better to be single than to wish you were. ”

Is the Husband the Boss? Love, Honor, and Obey?

Only once Scripture says the husband has authority over his wife: 1 Corinthians 7: 3 -4 (NLT): “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. ” Neither demands authority; each gives authority (mutual submission).

Don’t read your wife’s mail. Ephesians 5: 21 -23 NIV 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Husbands are never told to make their wives submit. Wives are never told to make their husbands submit. We to submit to each other “out of reverence for Christ. ”

Limits to Submission? � Submission ≠ Obedience � Our submission is always to be “out of reverence for Christ. ” � Christian submission never means participating in something wrong. � It does not mean we have to endure abuse.

What does it mean to be the head of something/someone?

� � The use of “head” to mean ruler was unheard of in classical Greek (before 2 nd century BC). The use of “head” to mean ruler was rare in the first century when Paul was writing. Paul’s first readers would not hear “ruler” when they read the word “head” unless the context made that meaning clear. Greeks often used “head” to mean “source of nourishment. ”

“Ruler” or “source of nourishment”? Ephesians 1: 22 (NLT) “God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him HEAD over all things for the benefit of the church. ” Ephesians 4: 15 -16 (NIV) “We will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the HEAD, that is, Christ. From him the whole BODY, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. ”

“Ruler” or “source of nourishment”? “For the husband is the HEAD of the wife, as Christ also is the HEAD of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the BODY. ” 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her…. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but NOURISHES and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church. ” Eph. 5: 23, 25, 28 -29 NASB

Is there any difference between the roles of husbands and wives? � Husband as protector? � Husband as provider? � Husband leads by going first in love and service and spiritual example. Meaning of headship: The husband “has a particular obligation of loving self-sacrifice for the benefit of his wife. ” Andrew Bartlett, Men and Women in Christ, p. 67.

What kind of marriage do you get when both put Christ first, neither tries to control, and both honor the other above themselves?

Philippians 2: 5 -11 NLT 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 6 Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. 7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, 8 he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. 9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.