Progressive Church of Our Lord Jesus Christ Inc

Progressive Church of Our Lord Jesus Christ, Inc. LEADERSHIP TRAINING PROGRAM

CLASS 8: Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution

Focus Scripture James 3: 16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

A church without any problems is a myth! Luke 17: 1 “It is impossible but that offences will come”

What Causes Problems and Conflict? James 4: 1 “From whence come wars and fighting among you? ” • • • Different thoughts and opinions Different stages of natural development Different stages of spiritual development Poor communication Change Stress Gossip Use or misuse of power Satan is busy!

Types of Problems and Conflict Church Leaders Often Deal With • Intrapersonal Problems and Conflict • Interpersonal Problems and Conflict • Substantive Problems and Conflict Important Note: Satan can use any of these to create major conflict in the church, if not handled appropriately and spiritually.

Addressing One-on-One Problems Matthew 18: 15 -18 15: Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16: But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17: And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

Ways Leaders Can Help Prevent Problems and Conflict • Relationship Building: “You have to know your people” • Have regular feedback and evaluation sessions with those you lead • Communicate clearly on the direction in which you want the group to go • Regularly communicate with other leaders in the church • Treat everyone with respect • Be proactive in addressing concerns • “Keep people honest” • Be a good example of godly problem solving and conflict resolution skills

Problems and Conflict Addressed by Leaders in the New Testament • • • Problems working together (Acts 15: 36 -40) Some people felt neglected (Acts 6: 1 -3) Cliques in the church (1 Cor. 1: 11 -13) The rich treated better than the poor (James 2: 1 -6) Politicking for positions (Mark 10: 35 -44)

Problems working together: Acts 15: 36 -40 36: And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do. 37: And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. 38: But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. 39: And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; 40: And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.

Some people felt neglected: Acts 6: 1 -3 1: And in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplied, there arose a murmuring of the Grecians against the Hebrews, because their widows were neglected in the daily ministration. 2: Then the twelve called the multitude of the disciples unto them, and said, It is not reason that we should leave the word of God, and serve tables. 3: Wherefore, brethren, look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business.

Cliques in the church I Corinthians 1: 11 -13 11: For it hath been declared unto me of you, my brethren, by them which are of the house of Chloe, that there are contentions among you. 12: Now this I say, that every one of you saith, I am of Paul; and I of Apollos; and I of Cephas; and I of Christ. 13: Is Christ divided? was Paul crucified for you? or were ye baptized in the name of Paul?

Rich treated better than the poor James 2: 1 -6 1: My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons. 2: For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment; 3: And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool: 4: Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts? 5: Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him? 6: But ye have despised the poor. Do not rich men oppress you, and draw you before the judgment seats?

Politicking for Positions Mark 10: 35 -44 35: And James and John, the sons of Zebedee, come unto him, saying, Master, we would that thou shouldest do for us whatsoever we shall desire. 36: And he said unto them, What would ye that I should do for you? 37: They said unto him, Grant unto us that we may sit, one on thy right hand, and the other on thy left hand, in thy glory. 38: But Jesus said unto them, Ye know not what ye ask: can ye drink of the cup that I drink of? and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? 39: And they said unto him, We can. And Jesus said unto them, Ye shall indeed drink of the cup that I drink of; and with the baptism that I am baptized withal shall ye be baptized: 40: But to sit on my right hand on my left hand is not mine to give; but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared. 41: And when the ten heard it, they began to be much displeased with James and John. 42: But Jesus called them to him, and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them. 43: But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: 44: And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.

Conflict Resolution When problems arise, how does a leader resolve conflict?

What Is My Leadership Style for Resolving Conflict? Me! Shark Lion Turtle Ostrich Owl Not me!

Which style will you use? Shark • Jumps in and rips everyone to pieces because a problem exists, without considering the feelings of others involved

Which style will you use? Lion • Jumps in and takes charge of a situation, dictating the solution without input from anyone

Which Style will you use? Turtle • Knows there’s a problem, and even spends time discussing the problem, but wastes precious time with little or no results

Which Style will you use? Ostrich • Knows there is a problem, but does not want to be involved and just wants the problem to go away

Which Style will you use? Owl • Studies the situation carefully and uses the essential steps for proper conflict resolution

Leadership Tips for Conflict Resolution 1. Pray - Proverbs 3: 5 -6: “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ” 2. Define the problem - “What is really going on here? ” 3. Create the right atmosphere and time to address the problem - Determine an appropriate time and place Do not procrastinate when conflict is brewing

Leadership Tips for Conflict Resolution continued … 4. Communicate with those involved - talk to the right person(s), agree to be respectful, direct, open and honest - maintain confidentiality - listen with respect 5. Focus on individual and shared needs - allow for open dialogue

Leadership Tips for Conflict Resolution continued … 6. Look for options - Develop “Doables”: The stepping-stones to action 7. Look to the future, then learn from the past; talk about dealing with conflict and problems in the future 8. Follow-Up!

Key Points to Remember … • • Realize that solving problems takes time Make an effort to address one issue at a time Explore all dimensions of the problem Manage conflict fairly Maintain an atmosphere of respect Identify areas in which the parties agree Build on those agreements to meet a shared objective View conflict as an opportunity to implement change in the ways people interact and to improve their problem solving skills • Leaders do not always have to provide the solution to the conflict, but they should be skilled in how to facilitate, negotiate, or communicate conflict resolutions

Final Thoughts • Failure to anticipate a problem (lack of foresight) • Failure to perceive a problem that has already arrived (denial) • Failure to attempt to solve a problem once it has been identified (contrary) • Failure to find a solution to the problem (ineffective)

Questions?

BREAK Group Exercises – 11: 30