PROCESSING GRIEF PROCESSING GRIEF Woman from Western PA

PROCESSING GRIEF

PROCESSING GRIEF: Woman from Western PA – “I hate everyone” (pain; unpack or shut down positive emotions) About half the Psalms are laments. They are grieving, processing, and journaling the pain, loss and disappointment of their life. Today, I want to start processing my departure, but even if you are not sad about that – you will be able to benefit from grieving.

PROCESSING GRIEF: Today I want to give some general principles on grieving that I will largely apply to our circumstances as a church in transition, but they can be applied to any life circumstance. There are two major issues to process – relational loss, and the loss of dreams. We will focus on the relational loss this week. (Acts 20)

PROCESSING GRIEF: Psalm 142: 1 -7, “I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out before him my complaint; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way. In the path where I walk people have hidden a snare for me. Look and see, there is no one at my right hand; no one is concerned for me.

PROCESSING GRIEF: Psalm 142: 1 -7, “I have no refuge; no one cares for my life. I cry to you, Lord; I say, ‘You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living. ’ Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me. Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me. ”

PROCESSING GRIEF: How do we process grief, loss and disappointment? First, bring it before God honestly and honorably. (Ps 142: 2, “I pour out before him my complaint; before him I tell my trouble. ”) (Jer 20 – you have deceived me…) (Psalmist pattern – express pain, emote, question, return to trust) (prayer journal) (3 types of people at SSCC – deeply connected, rational, and … {process hurt})

PROCESSING GRIEF: Second, make sure you are actually processing, and not just talking about your pain, grief. Some people get stuck in sadness or numbness. V. 1, “I cry aloud to the Lord” Empty the suitcase. Get it up and out. (express emotion, name it, dig down past secondary emotion – my journal) Eyes up, look to Jesus. (v. 5, “I cry to you, Lord; I say, ‘You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living. ’”)

PROCESSING GRIEF: Second, make sure you are actually processing, and not just talking about your pain, grief. Some people get stuck in sadness or numbness. V. 1, “I cry aloud to the Lord” In the end, in order to really process your emotions you have to surrender. The only proper response to the God of the cross is the way of the cross.

PROCESSING GRIEF: Third, in order to grieve you have to reframe and redeem the losses. (Romans 8: 28 -29, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to image of his Son. ”) (my favorite characteristic of God)

PROCESSING GRIEF: Third, in order to grieve you have to reframe and redeem the losses. (Romans 8: 28 -29) Relational losses & outcomes (Relational – abandoned; unwanted) (called, sent out, necessary ending & new beginning)

PROCESSING GRIEF: Assignment: Journal (writing, typing, bullets, outline – bury it)