PREVENTING RESPONDING TO BULLYING CYBERBULLYING AND CONFLICT Kathleen
PREVENTING & RESPONDING TO BULLYING, CYBERBULLYING AND CONFLICT Kathleen Conger, LMSW School Mental Health Consultant Office of School Health
WHO ARE WE? ? School Mental Health Consultant Program is a collaborative effort among the NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene (DOHMH), the NYC Department of Education (DOE), and the Office of School Health (OSH) 100 consultants working in over 900 city schools � Staten Island – 5 consultants working in 55+ schools, SMHCP Supervisor at Petrides Aim to Build Capacity (Universal, Selective, Targeted service delivery), Strengthen Family and Community Ties (parent sessions, health fairs) Build Supportive Environments; Support staff through training, professional development and consultation.
LEARNING OBJECTIVES Understanding the difference between conflict and bullying Increase knowledge of cyberbullying Learn strategies to help children deal with conflict, bullying and/or cyberbullying Access resources for further support
WHAT IS CONFLICT?
CONFLICT IS… A struggle between two or more people who perceives they have incompatible goals or desires. Occurs naturally, as disagreeing is a normal part of life Occurs between people of the same amount of power with two different points of view
EXAMPLES OF CONFLICT Children argue over ownership of a toy or material. Children want to be first or force other children to play “their way” Children try to join the ongoing activity of another group When violent, boisterous play escalates in intensity and tempers flare and frustration rises When children and peers have differences over rules, preferences for games or activities, or initiating or maintaining interactions
SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF CONFLICT Sadness for upsetting friend Remorse Frustration Anger Confusion/Misunderstood Interested in reconciling
STRATEGIES TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT Redirect the behavior Suggest different ways to play Set clear rules and boundaries for group play Set reasonable time limits on play, especially when sharing is involved Mediation – both parties agree to speak with one another; develop an understanding of what caused the conflict and emotions felt; come to a collaborative agreement for resolution Have conversations about respect, kindness and acceptance when newcomers join the group, and model the behavior
WHAT IS BULLYING?
BULLYING IS… Behavior that is intended to cause some kind of harm. There is purpose in the action against the target to hurt his/her feelings Imbalance of power (physical or social) or strength between the person doing the bullying and the target of the behavior. Aggressive behavior by one individual (or group) that is directed at a particular person (or group). The aggressive behavior is unwanted and negative. Can be a single incident; more often it’s a pattern of behavior repeated over time. Can be physical, verbal, reactive, relational or cyberbullying.
TYPES OF BULLYING Verbal: name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks, or verbal abuse Physical: hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and pushing or damaging property. Reactive: when the target of bullying behavior becomes the bully towards other targets. Relational: exclusion, gossip & rumors, silent treatment, slam books, withdrawing a friendship. (Example: Mean Girls)
EXAMPLES OF BULLYING An older student verbally abuses younger students on the bus and does not let them sit where they want to. A bigger child threatens a smaller child for his lunch A student intentionally bumps into a classmate whenever they pass in the hallway and encourages other students to laugh Classmates make fun of a student’s clothes or mock a student’s accent or taunt him/her about his/her grades A group of student’s regularly call another student names and hold her/him up for ridicule in front of others A student repeatedly uses social media to embarrass or harass a classmate A student gets others to go along with excluding a particular girl/boy from participating in activities she/he would otherwise be included.
RECOGNIZING THE EFFECTS OF BULLYING BEHAVIORS Depression & Anxiety Withdrawn Increased feelings of sadness and Changes in sleep and eating loneliness patterns Loss of interest in activities Health complaints Decreased academic achievement Want to avoid school Hides their screen or device when Social media accounts are shut others are near, and avoids down or new ones appear discussion about what they are doing on their device
WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE? Conflict Bullying Equal power… friends Imbalance of Power… Not friends Happens occasionally Happens repeatedly Often accidental Purposeful Equal emotional reaction Strong emotional reaction by the target Remorse No remorse – blames the target Effort to solve the problem No effort to solve the problem Not seeking power or attention Seeking power and control Peer Mediation can be very useful DO NO use peer mediation to to resolve conflicts resolve bullying. It may harm the target further.
TALKING WITH CHILDREN ABOUT BULLYING Help children understand bullying � Encourage kids to speak to a trusted adult if they are bullied or see others being bullied. The adult can give comfort, support, and advice, even if they can’t solve the problem directly. Encourage the child to report bullying if it happens. � Talk about strategies for staying safe, such as staying near adults or groups of other kids. Keep lines of communication open � Daily check-in’s about their day at school; ask them about bullying; who they can speak to at school if they see it happening; what do they do if/when they see it happening
TALKING WITH CHILDREN ABOUT BULLYING Encourage kids to do what they love � Help kids take part in activities, interests, and hobbies they like. Kids can volunteer, play sports, sing in a chorus, or join a youth group or school club. These activities give kids a chance to have fun and meet others with the same interests. They can build confidence and friendships that help protect kids from bullying. Model how to treat others with respect and kindness � Kids learn from adults’ actions. By treating others with kindness and respect, adults show the kids in their lives that there is no place for bullying. Even if it seems like they are not paying attention, kids are watching how adults manage stress and conflict, as well as how they treat their friends, colleagues, and families.
STRATEGIES TO DEAL WITH BULLYING Encourage children to be “Upstanders” instead of Bystanders. � Bystanders: children and teens who witness bullying and cyberbullying in action, who stand by and watch, who videotape it and make it viral… and WHO DO AND SAY NOTHING. � Upstanders: Whether you know the target or not, there are things that you, as a bystander, can safely do to support the target:
STRATEGIES TO DEAL WITH BULLYING Upstanders Can: Don’t participate; don’t laugh Tell an adult Don’t become and “audience” for the bully Stay as a safe distance and help the target away Support the target in private Reach out in friendship If you notice someone being Include the target in some of your isolated from others, invite them to activities join you Help the target in any way you can Don’t encourage the bully in any way
STRATEGIES TO DEAL WITH BULLYING Redirect the behavior of children who are displaying bullying behavior Encourage both the targets of bullying behavior, and bullies to speak to a counselor in school or the community DO NOT utilize peer mediation � Presents an environment for bully to exercise power over their target Schools may have the authority to change children’s class
CYBERBULLYING
CYBERBULLYING IS… Overt or covert bullying behaviors using digital technologies, including hardware such as computers and smartphones, and software such as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms.
EXAMPLES OF CYBERBULLYING Sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false or mean content about someone else. Sharing personal or private information about some else causing embarrassment or humiliation. Posts, text messages, photos, Meme’s, Gif’s, emails, video’s Persistent, Permanent, Hard to Notice
SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF CYBERBULLYING Depression & Anxiety Withdrawn Increased feelings of sadness and Change in sleep and eating loneliness patterns Loss of interest in activities Decreased academic achievement Want to avoid school Changes in physical appearance Social media accounts are shut down or new ones appear Hides their screen or device when others are near, and avoids discussion about what they are doing on their device
STRATEGIES TO DEAL WITH CYBERBULLYING Notice – Recognize if there has been a change in mood or behavior and explore what the cause might be. Try to determine if these changes happen around a child’s use of their digital devices. Talk – Ask questions to learn what is happening, how it started, and who is involved. Document – Keep a record of what is happening and where. Take screenshots of harmful posts or content if possible. Most laws and policies note that bullying is a repeated behavior, so records help to document it.
STRATEGIES TO DEAL WITH CYBERBULLYING Report – Most social media platforms and schools have clear policies and reporting processes. If a classmate is cyberbullying, report it the school. You can also contact app or social media platforms to report offensive content and have it removed. If a child has received physical threats, or if a potential crime or illegal behavior is occurring, report it to the police. Support – Peers, mentors, and trusted adults can sometimes intervene publicly to positively influence a situation where negative or hurtful content posts about a child. Public Intervention can include posting positive comments about the person targeted with bullying to try to shift the conversation in a positive direction. It can also help to reach out to the child who is bullying and the target of the bullying to express your concern. If possible, try to determine if more professional support is needed for those involved, such as speaking with a guidance counselor or mental health professional.
HELPFUL RESOURCES DOE Website: Respect For All- http: //schools. nyc. gov/Rules. Policies/Respectfor. All/ Student. Resources/Helpful+Resources/default. htm# bullying Stopbullying. gov Stompoutbullying. org Pacer Website: http: //www. pacer. org/bullying/
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES NYC Well- New York City Behavioral Health Hotline https: //nycwell. cityofnewyork. us/en/ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention https: //www. cdc. gov/ NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene Epi Query https: //a 816 -healthpsi. nyc. gov/epiquery/ National Institute of Mental Health https: //www. nimh. nih. gov/health/index. shtml Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: Knowledge Network https: //knowledge. samhsa. gov/ and Now is the Time (NITT-TA) https: //www. samhsa. gov/nitt-ta
REFERENCES DOE Website: Respect For All- http: //schools. nyc. gov/Rules. Policies/Respectfor. All/ Student. Resources/Helpful+Resources/default. htm# bullying Stompoutbullying. org
QUESTIONS, THOUGHTS? !
FOR MORE INFORMATION: Ms. De. Luca Parent Coordinator PS 36 Kathleen Conger, LMSW School Mental Health Consultant Office of School Health
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